Crush On a Younger Man

and we work together in a restaurant. he is 30, i am 47. we have worked there together for 5 years and i have worked there 5 years before that.

i never noticed him till he asked me out to the movies towards the end of my painful separation from my husband of 16 years.

i am now divorced.

we have kissed during work and after work. he has been to my house only once as my daugher and i live with her granny now. and we will be living here till she finishes jr. high school. i have been to his house a few times after work, he lives with his mom, she needs his paycheck right now. he gave up his own place to help her out.

we were were alone at my house we got in the bed together but for a few reasons we stopped before we got undressed all the way. i did not invite him over to seduce him and i did tell him that two or three times during the evening. we started watching tv in bed and talking and then kissing. we had discussed protection in a :coco is single and needs to know the latest lingo way and he knew i was tested for everything after my husband started cheating on me. he gets tested every year.

i stopped where it seemed to be leading because my divorce was not final and my honor is important to me and he said he understood.

since then there has been other drama at work and i have been jealous of his affection for a married co worker. he said and did some things that made me believe that he was playing me and now deliberately trying to hurt me, so i just stoppped speaking to him.

i had to protect myself and my job and it seemed clear that i was wrong to trust him altho he has kept our times together to himself as far as mgmt. and the staff goes.

i have no evidence he does gossip. but he has yelled at me during the stressful times and i have yelled at him and called him names. just cook and waitress stuff like evey restaurant. other times he seems to pick faults with me if certain men are there or if other male workers start to chat me up.

i need to know what to do next as we are finally back on speaking terms and either i was wrong about what i thought he did to me or i am gonna overlook it because i have a major crush on him and i will do anything to get close to him,

you help me decide okay?

thanks for any imput .

cocochanel cocochanel
46-50, F
10 Responses Feb 18, 2007

Sounds like an abusive man in disguise! : (

Any further updates on your story? I truly hope he didn't betray you and your last response was troubling. Hope you're okay.

now i'm affaid of him.

he broke my heart. we are not speaking anymore.

I think you deserve to be happy. Paulienonuts and snowballsinhell wish they had happiness. <br />
Younger men will bring fun to your life. He has already. lol!!!

it appears, we, now, both want the same things from each other. i gave him my trust. he's talking more like he sees us having a relationship.<br />
<br />
my vision is very poor btw and he can't see out of one eye and the other is far sighted. he can't see much up close. glory glory!! lucky for me i said to him.<br />
<br />
he asked: "which one of us has the worse vision? i said you do crush, hands down. he's pretty insistant that my eyes are worse then his. just pillow talk, sweet talk, at last.<br />
<br />
i can't beleive how long this has taken. and i have to add, i never once thought about my ex or about how many ways i can get hurt in this.<br />
<br />
i have enjoyed the last few months getting close to my crush and i look forward to all the ways this keeps getting better.<br />
<br />

Paulie- I swear you are too much :)

I agree with Shorty! Take your time and see how things play out. I would tend to be on the guarded side myself in this situation but that is reflective of me personally. I would wait, watch and observe his behavior to see if there was a pattern. If he proves to you that he is truly interested and it sounds like you are then I would give him a chance.

Take Your TIME, be Patient and sit back and see what Happens. Just relax and don't let Your guard down

In my opinion I guess it'd depend on what was said during the fights. Also be strong. You're going through things and can't necessarily jump for the first man that comes at you. There will always be more. If he's important to you and you can see it working out, then stick it out. My issue is with his little betrayals... somewhat immature or maybe he's just an ******* at times. It happens to all of us, but if it's going to be a pattern then you should definitely make sure it's something you want to endure.