49 In Love With A 30 Year Old Man

I may be having a midlife crisis, but I am 49, married with two sons (21 & 17) and I am in love with a guy who is 30. He makes me feel alive. I have been married for 26 years and with my husband for 29 years. We have a comfortable lifestyle and no money worries, but my love for him has gone stale and my younger guy fills that void. When we are together I feel happy. My husband found out about us and as he could see it made me happy, he gave us the ok to carry on. He now tells me that he can't deal with my infidelity any longer and if I don't stop my relationship with this guy, he will divorce me. I can understand how he feels but I am finding it heartbreaking to think of giving up what makes me happy. The problem is that the younger guy feels he wouldn't be enough for me and couldn't fully take care of me like my husband can. We have to try to cut back our relationship to a non physical friendship and try to cut back our love for each other too. I'm not sure I can do this, but if I want to continue to see my younger guy then I have to try. We have many things in common in our lives and we are there for each other emotionally, we don't want that to end as we feel we have a very special friendship.

Is there anyone out there who has had a similar relationship that might be able to offer suggestions?


fuzzyorange fuzzyorange
46-50, F
2 Responses Oct 19, 2009

Ah! The old, spouse found out delemma. The olny way everyone is going to satisfied here is to never let hubby find out again. <br />
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It isn't going to be easy, but it will be rewarding and just might add even more spice to a spicy relationship.<br />
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You have to not give hubby any reason to doubt you have broken it off even though you are still seeing your boytoy. That means always being there for him when he needs you. You can never let your marriage suffer for the sake of your relationship ... the marriage comes first ... don't pout when you can't see your friend ... try to keep your emotions in check around hubby. That way he never suspects anything. If every time you see your friend you come home walking on air he will soon notice and then the fights will start.<br />
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Good luck .... and if you want keep me posted .... I love this stuff!

I can say from my experiacne is try to make your love life more fun with your husband if that don't work try harder don't ruin something nice with something that you think will last. Don't make the same mistake as me