I Fell In Love...

I worked with her, and from the first time I saw her I knew we had a connection. Something about her at tracked me and I felt like I wanted to know what was it that caught my attention. She's older than me by nine years. Tall, brunet with blonde highlights. Brown eyes with dark specks in them. Dressed up everyday! We became friends at work then, outside of work. She invited me to be a part of a volleyball team and I met her friends, her beautiful two little girls... And her husband. He played softball. He's a business owner and the sponsor of the same softball team he played in. When you first meet this man, he looks like a man on a high horse and you would think his got it all together and living the American dream and nothing could touch him. We got closer and started to get to know each other and she felt comfortable with me and I with her. She got to know me and I her. The more I got to know her the more I could tell that appearances do lie. She wasn't happy with her husband. Little by little I would find out things that weren't right about him. She was there to be there and living just to live. I lost my job where we met and I was so sad. She there for me and offered me a job to be a nanny. I thought about and prayed about it. By the way I'm Christian. I asked God to open the doors if this what he wanted this for me. He did. I took the job. I got my own place in the basement with everything I needed. I'm Latina, so things are different for me. It was hard at first, but I got use to it. We got closer and closer and we felt like we could tell each other anything. Her husband is a pot head and has been smoking pot for about thirty years. So, his routine was get home drink a lot of beer, smoke pot, sit on the couch and watch tv. Everything bothered him l, especially her. So, she would come down stairs and we would talk and watch shows we both liked. When she needed help with anything I would offer. and the more I did the more she got close and more I got closer. Once in a while when things weren't right upstairs she would come down and sleep with in the same bed. little by little we got closer and we... Just... Started cuddling. Wet thought it something that we just had a type of connection because it felt right. She would say to me "your my everything your my friend, my mother, and my daughter sometimes. I don't where you fit in my life, you're like everything." I felt the same way. We couldn't figure it out because we had something and we just didn't want to see it as what it was. We were falling in love. One day, she was kinda drunk, but she knew what she was saying. She came downstairs because they Were not getting along. She got into my bed and was holding and said "I don't how to get you more closer to me... This is not enough." Then she turned away and said "I'm having mix feelings about you..." I told her it was ok. I told her that I knew she wanted to kiss me and she got embarrassed. Lol! I told it was ok and not to worry about it because in some way I felt the same way. Three days past and she kinda hurt my feelings. We argued a little went home and went to bed. Talked in bed started crying I comfort her and I told her it was ok. Things happen. And we laid back down and I started to hug her and kissed her in the cheek and kissed her in the other cheek and we looked at each other and we started kissing. It was so explosive! I never so much intensity in my life so much passion. We stop and she just said "wow!" She had to get up and go to work. I'm really in love with her it's been a month and I just feel like my feelings are getting stronger. She's separated now. So, I really don't know what's going to happen. I feel bad in one part but in the other I don't. I feel bad because I'm Christian and I love God, but I know this is not good in his eyes... I think. But I don't feel bad loving her I feel bad in the part of the judgement. I love so much I can't think this is a sinful love because its so pure and transparent. I'm I wrong to love her like I'm sopose to love a man?
Yokaes Yokaes
22-25, F
6 Responses Dec 15, 2012

In reading everyone's response I feel that this big issue here is not weather it is wrong in gods eyes to love a woman but I see more wrong with the fact that she is married in gods eyes and there are kids involved and she wrote to him and professed her love and devotion to him so to me the fact she is a woman is irrelevant there are a great deal of bigger morals here in my opinion someone is going to get hurt in all this and honestly if I were him I would probably kill both of you in a crime of passion and end up on the show deadly women on the ID channel lol

You are not wrong to love her because she is not a man but you may be a little shady loving and being with your married boss. who happens to have kids. I have been in a very similar situation only I was the one married if I was you I would never have stepped into that fire by being their nanny I hope it works out for you and if you ever need to talk find me

Im a Christian too and I sometimes feel like its a sin to be with a women, because I cant get over this 1 girl I LOVE SOOO MUCH ITS KILLING ME!... shes older than me by 12 yrs but we don't care about age and that type of stuff, I knew it the moment I laid eyes on her that I was in love with her. I met her because I got sick and went to the ER and she was my nurse we got really close and became friends outside of her being my nurse for 3 days, she stayed late hrs just to be by my side and when it was time for me to go home she said "Awwww" and madea puppy dog face (so adorable) and pulled me into this 60 sec. Hug and gave me her #, but I lost contact 2 1/2 yrs ago I died so were gonna be reunited in a couple months , the reason we lost contact was because of family issues and other stuff, but im pretty excited I don't know what to do, btw im sorry for the long cliché forgive me.

No need to apologize. I understand. I'm having a hard right now. If you want to be friends let me know I can give my #. It's nice to talk to someone who understands you. You know?

Ok cool, thanks :)

No, you're not wrong to love her. You have no control over who you're attracted to.

God put her in your life and you in hers because you were meant to be together. For how long, who knows, maybe a year, maybe a lifetime. I'm a spiritual person and I see nothing wrong with two women being in love. She isn't with her husband anymore in God's eyes.

And if you have worries about same sex love, think about this: The same book that says homosexuality is a sin is the same book that says people with tattoos are going to hell. People with tattoos are not going to hell and God made gay people the way they are for a reason.

Thank you. that really helps and gives me relief. I love her like I've never loved anyone before. I'm glad I find a site where people can understand what I'm going through.

Write me if you'd like to talk more. I know a lot about this kind of thing. Please let God work through your life. You were supposed to be with her and she with you.

It's hard because I use to be very involved and my youth group loves me and love them. The leaders I worked with I know their going to be desapointed, but I'm not willing to let her go because it feels right. I know it looks wrong because she still married and separated and liviv g in the same house because he won't leave. but she stays with me in my little place and she stopped sleeping with him a long time ago way before to got together and she doesn't want to be with him. She feels bad for him and she feels bad for her girls, but the girls are getting a bad example and a bad idea of what is loving family.

She needs to call the police if he won't leave.

The at the same time she wants him around. He calm now, but because it benefits him. She kinda broke off with me telling that she feel bad cheating with him with me. She doesn't want to be intimate with me... Like no kissing... stuff like that and no sex. She said she needs a friend right now. I understand but both of us can't resist each other. I think it's not that she has a conscious... I think she's scared to be with me or scared of what's going to happen.

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Sorry for misspellings... Nervous..