I'm Everything She Wants, But She Doesn't Want Me?
I'm a 20 year old guy, almost 21 in a few more months. In High School i was never a ladies man, until I graduated and started working Blue Collar jobs for 2 years and gradually got more and more confident because of everyone i was around. I now attend college to be trained for a career I lightly stepped in to during my 2 work years that I enjoyed.
I've gone through a few bad relationships, and being a conciously nice guy I get led on a lot. After a few months of not even caring to find anyone to be with, enter Cori.
I met Cori through her Mother, as weird as that may sound I knew her Mother for 3 years from my retail job in High School. At first I told myself, "Damn, shes gorgeous! But shes my friends daughter, I'm better off staying away.". When I decided to go to college i needed to get a part time job, so I got my old job back in a retail store for a few months where I had met her mother, and what do i know her daughter Cori works here now too.
The first few weeks we only talked passing by, or just talked things that had happened during the day. She started to always look towards me and smile when i was around and turn away and blush if i looked back. She would walk at just the right pace to catch me taking a glance of her butt (She knew she had a perfect butt). I noticed a few guys gave her their numbers and she just didnt want to do anything with them, so I figured "Screw it, I'll give it a shot.".
After a talk one day, she said with a cute face "Come see me tomorow! I'm working". Jackpot, perfect opportunity just fell in my laps, this never happens! I came in the next day before she got out of work, and asked for her number. She happily took my phone and put the number in herself, and checked it twice. The next few weeks went out quite a bit, she's incredibly physically intimate, not in a sex deviant way but a very cuddly way on all the dates.
I went to her house Christmas night and didnt leave until 5 in the morning, we just cuddled on the couch and whispered into each others ears. After that, something went wrong. She changed the way she acted when she spoke to me, texts of missing me and wanting me to stay in her bed stopped, and she wouldnt kiss me anymore. She never said why, I was so lost and confused, she closed her heart and wouldnt tell me how she felt and i got stuck all alone with a huge hole in my heart and a burning feeling that wouldnt go away.
We had an arguement because I couldn't take just not knowing, I knew that I loved her but being left after so much intimacy without a reason felt horrible. She finally explained she didnt know what she wanted and we stopped talking for the first time.
One day a week or two later, she sends me a text. She says she doesn't want to lose me because I'm such a 'Nice' guy. So, being a nice guy, i talk to her again. She blows me off every time I try and make plans, yet she still hugs me in more than a friendly way and still constantly grabs my butt. So I think "Yes! She made up her mind! Everythings working out,".
Nope. I ask her to be my Valentines a month later and it ends in an arguement where we stop talking. A week later, she comes into work and hugs me without saying anything. She says im so nice, and i care so much, and that most guys are jerks but im not one at all and she doesnt want to lose me. A week later, I break. I couldn't handle the situation, I thought of her with another guy and It made me cringe, i wanted to cry, i couldnt bare it, I told her how i felt and that as much as i would never want to lose her i dont think i could handle seeing her with another guy, as much as a nice guy or friend i can be, it hurts so much to know i did nothing wrong, but by being the nice guy i finished last.
I can't think straight anymore, I need to let go, but I have so many times before I don't want to. I think of her doing the must mundane things, I care if she is upset, I want to make her smile, I know I love her, and know she did love me, I don't know what to do.