Once Again

Admittedly the first time she wasn't my best friend. I'd spoken with her on occasion but she wasn't really part of my group of friends. I'd just gotten over a girl I really wish I'd never fallen for (in hindsight she's a *****), when our school had a fancy dress day in aid of Comic Relief. I happened to walk past her at one point, and I tried, unsuccesfully, to string a sentence together at the time abiut how she looked. But I realised then I quite like Steph. She certainly looked better then than she had the last two fancy dress days we'd had (well she more attracted my attention I'll say). We started talking a fair bit for a while but she made it clear nothing was going to happen, though I don't think she knew of my feelings, just she mentioned she had someone she liked, I kept up the talking for a while but stopped.

This last year though, with most of my friends gone, I integrated myself with her and a few ithers I'd known a little's friends, and I'm quite happy with them in all honesty. Me and Steph at the started talking more again, and people have invited me to do stuff now, so I guess I'm welcome. She basically became my best friend at some point, and if I have a problem it'll be her I'll speak to. She was even perfectly accepting when I told her I had feelings for her sister.

Only, last week I did some really stupid ****, which I've talked about in another story, so I won't share it here. But what killed me during the week wasn't that I'd rined any chance with her sister, who I've now gotten over, it was that I'd lost Steph's friendship due to my own stupidity. As it happens she has mostly forgiven me now, and we're back to how we were. But it's become clear to me which sister is truly more important to me now. I just can't ever tell her. I promised myself that already. She already has a boyfriend, and he's a great guy.

I'll just have to live with this pain again. It's all that ever happens to me.
sim83 sim83
18-21
May 20, 2012