So Much Conflict

So I've been dating my boyfriend for five months. We are getting on wonderfully. He's even talked about proposing to me just so I'll have a ring on my finger to show the world that he doesn't want to give me up. I know it's quick, but I did say yes. (His plan is for us to get engaged and stay engaged till we are both out of college and have jobs.) Here's my problem. Up until now, my best friend and I have never considered dating. We've known each other for eight years now. I talk to him more than I talk to anyone else, he knows my better and understands me. We've gone through so much together. All of our friends have told us that we are perfect for each other, bt we told then that we would rahter have each other as a best friend than a boyfriend/girlfriend. But just last night, he called me. He told me that his family, my family, and our friends really think that we should get together. This is normal. But then he told me that he really started thinking... He said that he had been looking for a girl that he connected with, that understandds him, that knows him. I kept listening and realized that I had been looking for the same. We had been subconsiously trying to find a substitute. I thought about my boyfriend and realized that he is just like my best friend. The only difference? Age. The characteristics, the personalities, the hobbies... All the same... My friend told me that he would wait for me and always be there. He even said that even if he were with someone, he would leave them for me... So what do I do? I do love my boyfriend. I love him so much. But I have these feelings for my best friend. And it isn't fair to my boyfriend. I don't want to break it off with him and find out it was a huge mistake, but I also don't want to spend my life wondering "What if..." I'm so conflicted. I'm torn between to wonderful people who both mean the world to me...
EndlessFacade EndlessFacade
18-21, F
Jan 6, 2013