Forever Loyal to Himback

 I'm totally in denial about him. I've known josh since i was a junior in high school but we never talked back then. he's my best friends close friend. last summer she invited me to go see him with her. when we picked him up at his house i jumped in the back so they could catch up. she notcholantly introduced us but he turned around and made it a point to look me in my eyes and shake my hand. at that moment i felt as if time was standing still. through out the day we really didnt talk, mostly because i felt really shy around him. at some point they were talking about me, he was upset she didnt tell him i liked asians(hes chinese and vietnamese but thats besides the point) so when i heard that i took the balls to send him a msg on facebook, evey since we have been as thick as theives. he helped me trust again and got me through my depression. recently he went away to the air force and i think about him non stop. i cryed myself to sleep the nite before he lefted. i felt soo stupid ive tried to convience myself that im not in love but its clear i am all i ever wanted was a man to accept me for all my ugly, who makes me feel comfortable and safe, and who cares about just as much as i do them and hes it. i'm too scared to tell him. i dont want him to reject me or lose our friendship cuz its the best friendship ive had in a while but i dont like seeing or hearing him with other girls. i just want it to be me. but i feel like im not good enough for him. as time goes on i will know if its ok to tell him or anybody for that matter but for now... its just my lil secert

roulette roulette
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 14, 2009

honestly you have to take risks to get wat u want i had a very similar situation and i told him and we are still best friends we are not anything right now sadly because he just escaped an arranged marriage his parents tried to pin on him so he just needs time but urs sounds like he is ready, u need to tell him or spend the rest of your life wondering what if