I Love My Professor. I May Have A Chance.. What Should I Do?
In my third Year of college.. I met my professor 2 months ago from today. He has been on my mind all day every day since day one. I have always been confident when it came to men. It has never been hard for me to find a potential lover; ah but this piece of work.. what a challenge. He is the most beautiful, wonderful creature that has ever walked on this planet. The moment I met him, I knew I was in love. From the minute I open my eyes until I fall asleep, he is constantly on my mind. It has become to an obsessive can't eat and can't sleep kind of thing. Every time I leave the house, I hope to see him out. I look him up online and gather up as much personal information as I can so I can maybe find some relations between us. I have started listening to his music and watching his favorite movies. He does not know that I love him.. which utterly kills me ever day. I cry myself to sleep over him. After I leave his class, I cry when I drive home to my boyfriend... because I know I am not going home to the one I love. The good thing is, I think he may have feelings for me too. Since this is college, I have the advantage of being older and possibly having a higher chance. He is single, so I don't have to deal with the barrier of him having a wife.. I always make sure that I am dressed like a 10 when I go to his class. I always give him a seductive look... I participate in his class... I ask many questions, and I help the other students in the class... I will sometimes just make up an excuse just to see him in his office. He has provided me with multiple signs that he is interested in me too. He asked me personally via email if he could call me by a nickname (not giving any specific personal info). The way he looks at me will just make one's heart melt. I know he finds me attractive, no doubt. He has given me some extra help on tests that others were not given (cheat sheets). He knows a lot about me because we occasionally talk via email... He told the class out loud that I have influence him to cut down on the meat (i'm a vegetarian).. I have a list of about 10 things that have given me signs of his mutual feelings.. But I don't know what to do about it. I just can't stand going another day putting myself through so much torture. I want to be with him so bad... I connect with him. I can read him and he can read me. The second day of class, I told him that I noticed he looked stressed.. he smirked, and admitted he was and explained why. A couple weeks later, I was going through a hard time with my relationship, and he noticed the sadness on my face, and asked me if everything was okay.. I just can't get enough of this man. I may be over twenty... but he is a bit older than me.. He is 41, but looks like he's 28... no lie!!! (which is ridiculous!) He looks like the male version of me too. I don't know if he truly feels the same way.. I'm just so happy to actually feel these feelings of ecstasy. He is in my dreams and fantasies... and I never want him to leave. I love him. What should I do?