I'm Feeling Depressed Today

I suffer with depression ...MATTERS OF THE HEART MAKES IT WORSE! I was pshyching out about havting to see HER today. I was wondering if my perspiration would be profuse and if I would have BO, if SHE would embrace me, if I can get through the meeting without being a sarcastic ***? But my greatest fear was that SHE may not be here at all! Now I'm sitting in a class, below HER office, afraid to go and hear the inevitable; SHE'S NOT HERE!

And to compound my anxiety, another lecturer friend of mine, a woman also, called me JUST to say hello this morning. She also works with HER as a fellow administrator, and she told me (the friend) that she had marathon meetings today. This, could very well mean that SHE (my crush) has marathon meetings as well. SHE never called to say that SHE would be out, something I would've appreciated.

But my biggest disappointment is that SHE doesn't consider me like others. Like I would like her to. Call, text, let me know YOU care about me and are thinking of me. I'm getting to hate HER so much! I have a very capricious love for THIS WOMAN!
22-25, F
1 Response May 11, 2012

Does she know your love or not? Or she knows but doesn't like to approve it?

I have told her and she was gracious and professional but we aren't close like we used to be and now she's very formal with me.

Yes perhaps she is afraid that it will take further. So, if she is keeping distance that means she is feeling for you, but she didn't want to take it further.

I never looked at it that way! Yet, it can be a possibility and a flattering one at that. Most people chalk it up to professionalism and wisdom. But maybe...just maybe she actually feels s twinge in her heart foor me too and just can't bring herself to admit and pursue it. The hopless hap in me must believe it to not feel a total hot mess. lamo
Thanks for the optimistic and unique point of view.

It is my pleasure. I am always for you to share my views. Have a great time...ahead.

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