All That's Well Ends Well

So, yes, I was right...SHE wasn't in school today because SHE had an impromptu meeting. But I didn't go to find that out. I actually went to say hello to my other lecturer friend that called me early this morning. My friend and classmate went to see her (my lecturer friend) and insisted that I go and see her too.

Well this friend who really loves and cares about me could tell I was not right. She kept asking me what was wrong and I could not deny that I wasn't okay. She asked me if I wanted to talk and, at first, I wanted to decline but decided against it. I just really wanted to verbalize what was brewing within me. She borrowed the office space of some other lecturers (as she shares office spacer with HER and another administrator) and we talked quite frankly. She never judges me and allow me to be quite candid. I cried and she was patient. I stuttered and she was encouraging. I was serious and she found ways to lighten the mood. But most of all, she shared two specific pieces of information with me that blew my mind...

1. For my lecturer friend's birthday I bought her a Sponge Bob stationery set because she is a huge fan of his. In the same store I saw a cute little Winnie the Pooh notepad becasue SHE is a fan of his. When I gave it to HER she seemed genuinely touched but then gently chided me for spending my money on her when I could keep it. So I sternly but jokingly replied that I would never buy anything for her in life again. She laughed it off and was about to hug me when I told her I was sweaty. So, she pretended to blow kisses to me and virtually hugged me. I pretended to catch the kisses and hug her back. Today, my lecturer friend told me the she saw the notepad on HER desk and playfully threatened to steal it. To this threat SHE replied along the lines of "If you want us to remain friends you better not because 'my very good friend' gave that to me!" I was stunned and blushed to say the least. My lecturer friend said up to this week she again threatened to steal the notepad and was warned with a, "Let's stay friends". My lecturer friend said that she could tell by just looking at the note pad that I gave it to HER and her hunch was confirmed by the ferocity in which SHE safeguarded it. I feel great to know that she really appreciated it.

2. Also, in March, my same lecturer friend asked me to participate in the first debate competition our college hosted. I took up the challenge and though my team didn't win we got Kindle Fires as consolation prizes. To say the least, we still felt like winners and are meeting next Friday to "celebrate". But I digress. She (my lecturer friend) only told me today that I was the first person SHE recommended for our campus and SHE has a lot of faith in my abilities.

My friend said that SHE really holds me in high regard and cares for me a lot. And that in HER wisdom she is trying not to lead me on and hurt me more and that is why she is being so formal with me. She advised that I try to stay away from HER as much as possible so as not to torture myself so much and resist temptation.

I thought I was already doing a good job at keeping my distance but maybe I will have to try and have no contact AT ALL NOW.

All in all it was good to talk about the confusion I was feeling and not be judged. I t was good to get a hug from a great friend and be told that I was abnormal. All that is well ends well!
IWANTTOGETBETTER IWANTTOGETBETTER
22-25, F
May 11, 2012