Secretive Situation.

Okay, i have been experiencing all the emotions you girls/guys have been. I feel as if i am in love,but there is a deep sense of wrongness about the whole situation. For about a year now, i have had this infatuation; i constantly think about this older man, and i have been reading your stories to have some understanding of what is going on with myself. This crush came over me,and hit me like Eros arrow.

For awhile now, i have been searching this group for some type of closure, because this experience, as i have read many of the stories in this group, has caused us to have very ambiguous and ambivalent emotions. It is very overwhelming to feel Love, lust, guilt, grief, remorse, resentment,anger, jealousy, happiness, and sadness poor out unexpectedly. Well love causes us to become crazy!

It wasn't until today that i have joined this group, i had decided to think of this situation before writing anything; and i am glad i have, because i would have been writing, and obsessing about each and every moment i have with my teacher. Reading your stories, has given me confidence boosts in my situation, you cheer for each other, and hope that you will be united with your crush for a great romantic experience. I hope for it too. I truly desire it, for it is a drive thats within me.

The thing is, I have reasoning skills that are very mature; i never disregard emotions, and i chose not to impose emotions like jealousy through hate, and anger towards the people i am around. While having this gift of reasoning so early, i have to reason with my 17 year old girl infatuations. Infatuation is the one emotion i am having so much trouble with, its why i am having these other confusing emotions attached to it.

I have wanted so badly to write about my experience like you girls(i haven't read any of the guys stories). But through reading them, i can compare them with that of the "Pro Anna" sites. While reading them i see girls from the ages 13-17, with a vibrant ambition to capture their teacher, and have them as a lover; to be honest, i also have this ambition. Every day, you write about their experience, every little detail; and honestly, i store these details in my mind,I just don't write them down out of fear. i act like all of you girls, i can relate in so many ways!

Even though it is in our own nature, as young women to be attracted to strong and wise men, it is illegal, and puts us in a horrible place, a place in which we can be taken advantage of. Because a strong and wise man would not take advantage of such young people. You girls and guys that have been rejected by your teachers feel so sad and upset; i would be to. But that is the greatest thing that could happen in this situation, you see? The men that reject you, are the strong and wise ones, the ones that battle their desires, because they know that their desires can get them into a lot of trouble, they could get hurt, they could hurt you.


I am writing this because i believe that student-teacher crushes need to be discussed in school. There needs to assemblies, so students and teachers feel safe talking about how they feel in these situations. We have assemblies for drugs, violence, bullying and safe sex, why not for this situation that many students and teachers go through? There is an epidemic of student-teacher intimate relationships, and we wonder why! It has never been brought up in the schools i have been to, and if it has been, we treat it like a disease, we treat it like the people of harry potter treat Lord Voldemort. So i am asking anyone for their opinions on this, opposing and agreeing, what do you think?
mistamew mistamew
18-21, F
7 Responses May 18, 2012

i cracked up at the Harry Potter reference but we sure do need to discuss it but that would feel hella awkward

haha yeah. =}

I have a crush on the janitor i locked him in the closet because I heard his wife was comming to see him at lunch. he doesnt even know my name I cry every night while imagining the love we could share.

i knew it!

I agree; it's a good idea that you have. People ignore these situations like they don't even exist at all, when really thousands of students and teachers have feelings that could get them into trouble.

Yeah, i am so glad that i am getting such encouraging comments, thank you :)

random thought; as soon as i looked at your comment, my sister turned on Dr Phil! haha

haha that's awesome :D

yeah :D i love synchronicity!

I think you´re right.<br />
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What good has pasting a taboo sign on ANYTHING ever brought to any of us??<br />
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Ignorance leads to bad decisions, just as we should have learned already by reminiscing in the stories told by our parents, grandparents in the olden days when talking about sex was an appalling thing.<br />
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The ending result? Girls getting pregnant in their teens, boys becoming fathers before finishing high school. Girls getting an abortion in illegitimate medical facilities out of shame, sometimes dying in the process or left sterile.<br />
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My parents have always been straight with me and my brother about sex and drugs, and I must say, it´s one of the best decisions they have taken as parents.<br />
I am a 16 year old girl, and I feel no desire to take ANY form of drugs, and I am one of the few girls who is willing to wait for a guy I actually like to become intimate with, instead of jumping into bed with some inmature mean brat out of peer pressure or fear that people might mock my virginity.<br />
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The point of my rant is: it´s proven that information= intelligence= smart decisions. Ignorance= Doubt=Insecurity=Bad decisions.<br />
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So...... why is everyone STILL so ******* afraid to TALK to us about these issues?<br />
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Adolescence is a ****** enough period of time in our lives, we´re confused about EVERYTHING, so why add some MORE fogg into our line of sight?<br />
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The teacher/student relationship is a complex one. It´s very easy to develop strong feelings for the person no matter on which end you are.<br />
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Girls and boys are in a very unstable time in their lives, and they might feel like nobody understands them, except this ONE person they idolize and worship, who happens to be in front of them writing something on the blackboard.<br />
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We´re teenagers. We´re stupid. We make impulsive choices.<br />
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If you´re lucky, this person can act maturily, and let you down, explaining the tough situation you´re putting both you guys by hoping to act on your feelings, etc.<br />
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The scary part is...what if this is NOT one of the good guys?<br />
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This person might take advantage of you. This person is older, in a position of authority, and it´s very easy for the situation to get ugly, VERY quickly.<br />
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I definitely believe that this is an issue that should be adressed in school, it´s like the big elephant in the room that everyone refuses to acknowledge, and it´s not doing ANYBODY ANY good.<br />
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It´s an issue as prominent as the impulse to try drugs and have sex, and it is JUST as delicate. It has JUST the same power to ruin somebody´s life, on BOTH ends.

What you have said is very inspiring, thank you:) i have become a girl like you, i preserve my body for someone i accept completely, and love unconditionally, thats why i have reasoned very maturely with this situation. I remeber when i was really young (13) i had started using drugs and being promiscuous, and when i was 15 i had to learn a moral lesson; the lesson of gaining compassion and gratitude for yourself and
others. From that point on, i started to take really good care of myself, and then when i was well into my 16th year, this infatuation hit me! Caused me to question and reason with the trouble that could be placed on me. It caused me to become distressed, and all of these girls seem so upset and distressed; the school really needs to confront this; and not even just with Teacher/student relationships, but with all relationships that we can take advantage of others, and have others take advantage of us!

Thank you so much :)

I´m glad you started to take better care of yourself ;) you go girl xd.

I feel like the reason they won´t adress the problem is because it´s such a delicate thing, and it can be a life-ruiner. Also because the age thing is frowned upon.
But I think that BECAUSE it IS such a delicate thing and BECAUSE it´s such a potential life ruiner, it should be discussed so we understand what the fuss is all about and we can make informed decisions. If we just ignore the issue, it´s like throwing us in a blindfold right at the ******* wolves.

Oh, something I forgot to add XD. I think this should not only be done for us, but the teachers, because we might think that it´s a harmless thing, but a lot of teachers have also fallen victim to these sort of things, since nowadays people seem to jump to conclusions so quickly. You might think you´re innocently and simply expressing the way you feel about a person you deeply care about, but to actually take action could result in the teacher losing his career, not being able to teach ever again, maybe go to jail and/or be registered as a sexual predator forever.
If the case would arise that you´re madly in love with your teacher and they reciprocate, and there´s nothing that can convince you otherwise...then, well... at least wait til you´re 18 and out of highschool. eh? Avoid getting anyone into any sort of trouble. Legal or otherwise.

I just found your last comment:P sorry it took awhile for me to reply, i did not get a message to tell me.

Its good that you brought up having something done for the teachers to; i kinda implied it to someone in one of my comments, and i did not make it very clear. Thank you for clarifying. =3 I hope your comment gets voted to the top so the people reading this can get a more careful view of the situation.

Haven´t been here for a while, so sorry for the tardy reply xd

But thank you so much for the support. I´m glad experienceproject exists, because I feel like we can talk about very real issues and have our own discussions about things, express our ideas and feelings, give advice...

i just remembered notifications do not come for these things. I am also sorry for my tardy reply. And yes, EP is great! would you like to be in my circle? i shall send an invite

Best wishes!

4 More Responses

personally i do think that a relationship between a teacher and a student its not illegal. both sides are humans and have the right to love. im glad you take this seriously and not acting with fear cause it would only make you weak. <br />
even though we dont see it often, not even in my school, they should have discuss such stuff. we always talk about violence, crimes, drugs, abuse but what about love between a student and a teacher? its important too. we cant avoid facts like that. many students have lived their lives wondering what they should do cause none talked to them about this. and some of them even lost their chance to be happy with the person they love.<br />
i think its time to open our eyes and talk about important things instead of bullshit.

i think i was in fear, but i decided to do something positive with it:P and yeah, we are humans. I think that the law should look at this situation with compassion and try to understand the points of views from the students and what not. Because depending on the situation, the teacher could actually feel that the student is on the same level as them (they are not al rapists) We need to feel like we can accept our feelings, instead of being confused and feeling like we are alone in this.

I know! D: I also think that throwing some person into jail out of nowhere for showing affection to a person they care for, even if it´s a student and it´s frowned upon or whatever, as long as they did it willingly, is ALSO bullshit!
It´s so radical and wrong! That´s why I think they SHOULD discuss it, to take that ******* taboo banner off and deal with it reasoningly. But as things are right now, it´s ******* scary to do anything like that before you´re 18, BECAUSE the law is still so radical about this situation, people still don´t fully understand, so they´re too quick to make judgement.

Thank you for furthering into my comment, it is alot of help. When our society can not be so self richeous and ignorant of everyones emotions, the world would be a better place. I think every situation should be treated with humility, no matter how morally wrong it is.

*will

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Omg,I really believe that youre right about that.I mean most peoplet dont take these situations in serious and thats so wrong, they prefer not to discuss about it but for the people who are experiencing this situation or have in the past can understand that its is a very serious subject because its really hurts you and you dont know what to do and you feel helpless against your strong feelings for your teacher:(.But we cant control our feelings and we just cant just ignore it because it hurts us everyday that passes realizing that our love is 'forbidden'....Youre so right about it and it seems that you are very mature and you can understand and your opinion about it and how it should be treated is very helpful:)

thankyou:)

I hope that changes can be made!

youre welcome:)

I hope that too:)

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I wish I have your maturity when I was younger. I am also in love with my teacher and after almost three years, I still feel the same way. The thing is, I had a relationship with this teacher and and it ended with him quiting his job and leaving me so I wouldn't get into more trouble. That part was not pretty and it hurt us both of so much but I've never regretted meeting him even once.<br />
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You see, even though they are teachers and are more experienced and wise, they are still human and can make mistakes. They have feelings too and like most people, these feelings can cloud their judgement. <br />
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And about discussing the teacher-student relationship issue during assemblies is a good idea. It may help to reduce or prevent such situation from happening. But sometimes even if we have already done what we think need to be done in order to prevent such matter, it still happens. Because we are just human and we make mistakes.

i was waiting for a comment like this:P thankyou; and its the first one! :) I understand your point fully, i don't regret my situation; this man has inspired me a lot! Thank you for your wise words Loveblackz.

You're welcome :) and thank you for sharing your point. I'm certain that it made people who read it think and consider their action before doing anything further.

yeah i thought it would to.