Awkward....

I first had a crush on my teacher (let's call him Joe) in 7th grade. It wasn't anything too big, just a little girl, crushing on her new teacher. He was 26 at that time. I never really thought myself in love with him, but I blushed when he looked at me and innocent stuff like that. I always liked him for his character, he is one of the kindest people I know, and he told me, that I was his favorite student, too. We had an unusually close relationship from then on. In 12th grade, when I split up with my boyfriend he witnessed the break-up and consoled me, because I was in turmoil. He hugged me close and dried my tears. I was embarassed about that. A few days later we coincidentally met when I was going for an early run on a saturday, and he was walking his dog. We ran together and talked a lot, then made a break and watched a beautiful sunny morning. It was really nice and we started holding hands on our way back, which didn't feel wrong at all, it felt natural. When we came by his house he invited me in for a coffee. The coffee took us two hours, by which time I realized, that I had left my keys at home, and nobody would be there till the next day. He told me I could stay over, if I didn't mind, so I took a shower there. When I came out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel and asking him for some fresh clothes he looked at me with this hidden smile, it really turned me on. He then gave me one of his own shirts, but as my bra was so sweaty I didn't wear it anymore. Although he tried not to look at my boobs his eyes wandered there a lot. He was trying very hard not to make me feel uncomfortable, but I was falling for him, exactly for this reason. We cooked together and had a lot of fun, and he kept laughing about me wearing his shirt and boxers. I had the best day of my life, and when we had eaten dinner he got a bottle of scottish whiskey and we drank to a bunch of funny stuff we had done in our lives. We were rather drunk, when I suddenly leaned in and kissed him. He drew back, which really hurt me, but the guilt in his eyes was mixed with desire and something else- a warm glow. He told me it was wrong what I was doing (I was 17, so I was underage), but that it felt so right. After a moment he noticed the hurt look in my eyes and as I leaned in again he didn't resist anymore and kissed me back. We kept drinking, and some time later we were making out really hard. Somehow both our shirts had come off, and it felt so good to be close to him. However, he stopped before we got any further. We woke up in his bed the next day, both of us half-naked, but rather happy that we hadn't gone all the way.
I went home as soon as I knew somebody was there ad told my parents I had slept over at my best friends place, which happened all the time. The next day (monday) at school Joe and I couldn't bear to look at each other. I felt horrible and elated at the same time, and of course kinda guilty. He asked me to stay after the lesson, because he wanted to talk to me. I was really nervous and sad, because I didn't know what to expect. I thought he would tell me that he was sorry for what happened, and tat it had been irresponsible of him. I secretly hoped, he would ask me over again. So I decided to wait until everyone else had gone and then closed the door. Before he could say anything I went over to him and kissed him and said that I didn't regret what we had and hadn't done, that I wished it could continue, but that I would accept it if he didn't want it because he didn't feel the same way. His eyes started lowing at that and he swiftly kissed me, too. Then he said that he tried to regret it, because it felt wrong to take advantage of such a young and vulnerable girl, but that he just couldn't deny that he had wanted it and still wanted it, too. He then told me that we couldn't continue seeing each other anyway, and that our relationship had to stay platonic for that reason. I wasn't ready to accept that, now that I knew he felt the same way, so I took his hand and pressed it to my heart, which was beating really fast and asked him if he could feel that.
The next morning I woke up in his bed again- only this time we were completely naked. I never told him, that he took my virginity that night. Of course both of us soon started suffering under the secrecy of our relationship as no-one could know, but we were in love, so we stayed together for 11 months. We broke up just before graduation, when we could finally have gone public. We ended it on a good notice, however. One month after our break-up I suddenly missed my period. I panicked and had a pregnancy-test, which turned out to be positive. I felt like in one of those cheap reality-shows: 18-year old girl pregnant with her ex-teachers baby... I had made plans to go to canada for a year, which really came in handy. I would be gone before anyone would notice was pregnant. I couldn't even get myself to tell HIM. When I landed I decided to text him from a far distance. I never recieved an answer and I was really disappointed with hm, because I felt lost and alone. Two weeks later it knocked on my door and he was standing there, smiling and telling me he just wanted to introduce himself, that he was my new neighbor and that he was the new teacher at the local highschool. I was the happiest girl in the world, believe me, it felt like favors had finally turned for me. We had a girl and he proposed to me on the birthbed. We have been married for one year now, and I can't think of any better life. We never returned from canada, my family accepted it and we bought a nice big flat. I love him.
izzyloumed izzyloumed
18-21
2 Responses Sep 20, 2012

This is beautiful, I wish you guys the best :)

Oh this is so cute(: glad things worked out!