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Ex-Student Still Pining For Teacher

When I was in sophomore year of high school, I met my U.S. History Teacher.  I liked him from the start but it was a few months later that I realized I had a thing for him.  Now it's four years later and I'm head over heels in love with him.  I'm in college now and I don't get to see him half as often, but instead of helping me forget about him it makes it even harder (I don't even want to forget about him).  As far as I know, he has no clue whatsoever.  I think about telling him how I feel all the time, but I'm so afraid of rejection.  It would ruin my life - I know that sounds overdramatic but really - if he suddenly felt weird talking to me or being around me because he knew about my feelings.  He's ten years older than me - turning 30 this month.  He's not married (he has, in fact, said he doesn't want to get married), but he might have a girlfriend.  With his looks and personality I'd be surprised if he didn't.  All my friends know, but I don't think they take it seriously...they just think I have a crush on him (although one of my college acquaintances said she thought it was possible since there isn't a huge age difference).  My mom doesn't know, but I've thought about telling her since I'm not in high school anymore and it isn't as...shocking, I guess.  I haven't seen him since January of this year and it's driving me crazy.  I keep hoping to run into him, but he travels a lot and he's probably out of town, so chances are I won't get to see him at all until at least September.  One of the worst things is that I can't see him outside of my old high school (which is not exactly the most romantic place).  I wish I could just ask him to have coffee or something like that, but I suppose I'm too anxious, especially to be with him just the two of us.  Although I've known him four years and I consider us to be tenuous friends, I get so jumpy and nervous around him that I end up saying or doing really stupid things.  I would probably accidentally spill hot coffee all over myself - or worse, him!  However, somehow I feel more comfortable with him than with anyone, excluding my family and best friend.  I miss him so much.  I think about him constantly, I have dreams about him, I've written a million journal entries and stories about him...all to try and get my feelings out, but it's no use.  I'm in love and there's nothing to be done about it.  I think I would have less of an issue about telling him if I had higher self-esteem.  Even though I think we'd do quite well together, I don't think of myself as his ideal woman, at least not physically.  I don't know whether he finds me attractive at all (though I hope so!).  I'm trying to take a new direction in my life this year and hopefully that will lead to some positive changes...changes he'll notice when we meet again.  I know he already sees me as more mature than most girls my age.  I guess the next time we'll have any sort of correspondence will be in about a week - I always send him some sort of birthday greeting.  I plan to ask whether we can keep in more consistent contact, and hopefully that will lead to something...

cityondown78 cityondown78 18-21, F 35 Responses Jul 14, 2008

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It's been 7 years for me and he is married so i dont expect anything but i dont feel like living with the regret of never telling him so i composed an email telling him id like to schedule a meeting and I have.. now I'm killing myself over how to word it and out to get the hell out of there the minute it leaves my lips. ha.

I fell in love my with Home Tech Teacher. At first I thought it was just a crush seeing as I was a freshman. I have known him for 7 years, and I still go and visit him at school, and he is on my facebook. Sometimes...i think he might have feelings for me too....but then again it might just be that he considers me a daughter. I have never told him how much i love him...unless we are play fighting. There was a time when we could just look at each other and know what each other was thinking. I always feel like I should tell him...but I don't want to **** up what we have. If he knows...he is really good at hiding it, I wish he would tell me if he does have feelings for me. As for age...well...he is old...by a bit. It doesn't bother me...but I know it would probably bother him.

I seriously think u should ask him out..... I too had a crush on my 11th grade physics teacher.....he was a new temporary teacher... As we hd no teacher for physics....one day in class he had sore throat aand he din wana teach tat day... Aand fortunately it ws my birthday.. Soo he called me up and to sorta kill time... He asked me to sing a song.... I sang -(my heart will go on)aand.. Since then he sorta became fond of me..... I ws not all tat into him... Neither ws he...... We wer kinda good friends.... On Facebook..... And not talk much in school..... But yes I would often go wid silly doubts to him.... Not realising tat I like him.... I just liked being around him.... But yes he had a girl friend back then but ws in a different town..... Soo dis one day.... On fb randomly to tease him asked how his girl ws doin.... And his replies wer not like he always did..... He ws sad.... And heart broke..... He found out that she has been cheating on him...... Oh Wel...... I noe I ws supposed to be sad for him as I ws his friend:-P but I ws kinda happy..... Well he became sorta more close to me.... As in we exchanged nos. And would send funny forwards or talk about other
students in class. .he left our school afta about 4 months.... As the academic yr ws coming to an end and. Exams wer approaching... I lost touch wen I ws in 12 th grade..... And soo for a year and half... Hd no clue wat as happening in his life.... And I hd forgotten about him... But one day during my vacations before I joined university.. Saw him online onfb .. Had some decent conversation.... Aand he asked me if I wanted to catch up if I ws not busy..... I ws not looking forward to it..... But yea..... I did go out..... To this place named boka grande..... Was a nice Italian cusine.... It ws a casual meet.... Nothing romantic..... Aand later during Diwali vacations I had gone shopping wid my cousin sister.... We had lunch plans soo just called him up as he would always complain about him not enjoying his lunch breaks at his work place..... (btw after he stopped teaching us he. Joined a chemical company coz he ws actually a chemical engineer but taught physics.... Coz he likes physics) aand we had lunch.... He asked me above my plan if u ws free.... I had to go with my cousin for partying and boozing ;-)soo I just tol I ws busy..... Later wen I ws a lil tipsy..... I called him up and asked him to join in and also Tat m high..... He tried finishing his meeting as soon as possible and came as soon as possible..... He ws worried tat I would loose control and puke :-Phe realised tat I had had a lil too much alcohol.... And tat my parents would screw me if they found out.... Soo he made me sit in his bike to take ti to acoffee place to sober me down .... And on the way to coffee place it just started raining..... D scene felt like a Bollywood romantic movie :-Pand wen it started raining..... I loved it.... Wanted to hug him but he had a backpack :O(how stupid ryt) aand as it started raining more I asked him to gi for a long ride.... Aand he ws reluctant initially.... But later he agreed.... Finally afta the ride he took me to a small coffee shop which was close to my home si tat he could drop me as soon as possible..... It ws really cute wen he poured d hot coffee in another cup for it to cool.... And after I got cooled he made me drink :-)....later that night....wen I went back home and went to bed..... Whole night I thought about him..... I din wana accept the fact tat I had a crush on him...,. Coz I ws scared..... And din noe how people would react especially my friends..... Some how I gatherd courage and afta a week u told him on phone tat Ihave a crush on him and I keep getting his thoughts...... Soo yeah since then we sorta started sending flirty txts.... I din wana ask him out or neither did I want him ti ask me out..... Coz I ws dumped previously by my ex..... Soo I din wana gt all serious and touchy romantic..... But ya gradually as time passed we mutually realised tat we love eachother and its been a year and 4 months with him :-)

meet himm :))) and tell him

The problem is reversed for me. My student fell in love with me and have her head over her heel. Our age gap is around 28 years for me being her much senior. She had met me during her childhood and never ever forget about me ever since. Well to be honest now she's a mature woman, when she's young I thought ok this is only a child crush and puppy love, so I just ignored her. But now it's my turn to felt exactly the same way as she is now. I know her parents disagree with us but I know that I cannot lied to my own feeling. Truly she's the only woman that I know to make me laugh and felling so happy inside out. If things just fine between us I would love to proposed her to be my wife.

Dude do it. She's not a child and you're not a child either. What are her parents going to do? Report you? No. Life is really short and before you know it she'll slip away. You did the right thing for waiting and it's your time to shine. We can't choose who we love, we just do. So go ahead and see if it can work!

As a male teacher, I say you should probably avoid any romantic advances until you are not in his school, then, carpe diem! Chances are, he may not be interested in forming a life partnership. I'm not saying he's selfish, I'm just saying that his interest in you might differ from yours in him.

She's not in his school anymore.

most likely.

This is exactly how i feel now..You know now i have graduated high school too,im 18,he is still in our school this year but i cant see him...I love him so much and i miss him every second of everyday..He knows about myfeelings,I had written a letter to him while in high school so he knows....I had talked to him about my feelings but i could see that he was avoiding talking with me(he also has a gf)..He once told me that I will go to university and meet new people...Its been 5 months since i finished school and im in college now but i still love him so much and i always will...I just cant forget him..Everyday that passes i fall in love with him even more and i miss him so much...Instead of moving on i love him more and more and everyday i realise how much i want him...these feelings grow inside me everyday.....Im dying of missing him...Afew days i bumped into him accidentaly and i saw him after a long time...My feelings then were undescribable.I couldnt speak or do anything,i was just staring like an idiot...Im planning one day to go back to school(find an excuse...)to tell him my goodbye and to let him know how much he means to me....Your story seems A LOT like mine..I really understand..

I fell head over heels in love with my head teacher when I was 17. He was all I could think about, in a crowded room our eyes would meet and there they would remain for a minute or so. My heart would bound, I would feel as light as air and I just felt super human. We had an amazing connection, the strongest I have ever felt and I miss him 13 years on. I've never looked into anyone's eyes and felt tears well up out of pure love. He was my soul mate, so emotionally linked and both understood each other in a heart beat. He was married, with children and had his career to consider. He called me into his office once and I walked on by....why? Because I loved him so deeply I didn't want him to risk anything for me. When I moved on to uni, I chose to give him his life and as a young person I felt sure I would recover from the heart break.

The reality now? I love him still, nothing has changed for me. The last time I saw him he was sat in his office, blinds drawn, head hung crying quietly to himself. I walked away because I loved him so much and didn't want his family or colleagues to turn against him. I lost him and shortly afterwards started to experience severe panic attacks and depression that ruined university for me. I am happily married to a man I love though the intensity of the love I felt with my teacher hasn't been repeated. If I found him again I can promise you I would give up everything just to hold him and love him for life.

So, bottom line is this. If you love someone, really love someone then be selfish and grab that love. I hope that when I die he will be waiting at heavens gate for me and we can be as one.....I wrote beautiful love poetry for him, that I never shared....I hope he knows, somehow that 'angles wings forever flicker in my heart, for he is my never ending love'. Love changes you but true heart break devastates life.

Anyway, onwards and upwards with life.

I'm more sorry for your husband than you.

I am so glad someone else feels this way, I thought I was the only one a crazy 18 year old in love with a person of that occupation and a 12 year age gap!! I thought I was crazy I tried to shut the feelings out and deny that i was feeling this way but It spriralled and I realised I was in love, I love everything about him for his flaws and everything, you don't get many people who love you like that. I'm also scared of rejection and I don't want things to be awkward after as I see him everyday. He's the type of guy who is moral and proud, i know he will never feel the same way, i've also denied this to myself but I can't any longer. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel gulity when talking to another guy which is strange, I'd love to see what other people think about this situation and what I should do next. Thank you. Ally

Go for it. If he rejects you, then move on to another guy (or girl).

Did you ever hook up with him?

I can't see many teachers getting involved with such young teenage students. As you're 20 you may have more chance but although many men perv over younger girls he is a teacher and most teachers do not want to get involved with someone with such an age difference.

There are TONNES of couples with big age differences, especially older men/younger women. In many countries, age differences of 40 years are considered normal.

my teacher is the same age as me, is that a bad thing>? would he want someone younger?

Ver good approach.

Wow. I am literally crying. I am in love with my history teacher as well but the only difference in my story is that I'm 15 and he's 30.

Wait 'til you graduate before you do anything together....even if you both REALLY want to. Wait.

Hey gurl.. I'm 'S' currently in matric.. I use to have a crush on my sir in the 9th-11th grade.. I use to be head over heels for me.. When ever he came around my knees use to get weak.. Butterflies.. I've experinced all that.. He's 27.. I'm turin 18 now.. I look a lot more mature than others of the same age as me.. I carry out my self well.. And I'm quite popular at achool.. I'm friends with everyone.. All the teachers love me.. What I'm tryna say.. I'm good looking and I really don't why I wasted those 3 years running and tryna get him to notice me.. Like when ever I see him.. I ask myself was he really worth it.. But the is.. I relised that I don't love my sir.. I mean how can I be inlove with.. I don't really know him that well on a persnal level.. Yeah we speak 'bout guys, girls, casinos.. Anything that comes to mind.. I always amsumed that he liked me.. A few times I wanted to tell him.. Then I said nah just let it ride.. What I'm tryna say.. That we all scared to tell them how we feel cause we might lose them.. But (how can we lose something that we never had??) now that I'm in matric I've notice a sudden change in his behavior.. Normally I'll be the one tryna speak to and get his attension.. Now that I don't even Look at him.. he's FAlling for me.. I won't say that I love or I'm crazy 'bout.. I would just say it lust.. And that I crave him.. But now that he's into me.. I don't really take note of him.. And I mean like he is really into me.. He be asking stuff like how's the boyfriend? Then I'd he's good and the gf? Then he would be like nah still looking.. I mean like htf.. I know he has a girlfriend.. But he want's me now more than ever.. Like a month ago I made plans to go out with his cousins.. He's cousins did ask him to take them out he's like no.. Then I did ask for them.. Then he's like yea sure.. It's all upto me.. But they ended up going and I didn't show up.. I was with my boyfriend.. And he didn't want me to go with those peeps.. So at school he's like all confused cause he was keen to meet me.. That's what they say.. When I ain't in uniform.. He's eyes is stuck on me like honey on bees.. But you see I liked him a lot more when he wasn't intrested.. Cause I like a challenge.. I like doing the immpossible.. Ya but now that he's into.. I've fallen out.. Those feelings that I once had for him is fading.. But I'm afraid that he is starting to feel the way that I did feel in younger years.. What do I do bout that... Do I get a move on with my life.. Do I let things take over on their own and see what happens??

you should do the following to try to get his attention first you pretend you just ran into him tell him hi and everything . You have a cup of coffee and then you trip and accidentaly fall over him and spill your coffee on yourself, then pretend you are super embarrassed and then tell him you will see him late and pretend that you are extremely embarrased and then see what he tells you. Hope this helps and if you try this tell me how it went.

Take a chance and tell him. You are in college now and the age thing doesnt matter. The teacher I like is only 10 years older than me too. And like you I feel nervous whenever I am around him but I feel comfortable too; I can just relax when I am around him because he is so funny and is very nice to me. I dont think that I am ideal either (in looks, though I hope he would find me attractive) I try to make myself better in anyway I can to get him to like me better. I think about him all the time and have had a few dreams about him and I miss him after a minute of leaving his class (pathetic right?) I have told my friends about my "crush" on him and my mother most certainly does not know and never will.. she thinks that he is nerdy and dweeby and geeky. Though I dont. I love him very much and I want to tell him how I feel someday after I graduate but I dont want to get rejected either and not be friends but I think that it would be better than him never knowing. Hope everything works out all right for you.

What do you do when they're like 30 years older and married but you've been melting over him for 4 solid years. You think about him daily, basically considered an obsession. You can't seem to think straight and the nerves and jitters overwhelm you. He means so much to me and knows me probably better than I know myself. He is what I seem to live for, its got to be love. How can I simply forget that... I can't, what should I do? Tell him?

nrkrllekrllte

There's a world of people out there that would call us all weirdos :) But I know what it's like. Teachers really can be significant people in your life, particularly if they are an inspiration to you, like he is to me. From the very first day that I met him, I was utterly enthralled by the way he spoke, how eloquent and sincere he was. I wanted to be like him. He wasn't like a lot of these half-arsed teachers you get nowadays, he REALLY cared. When he spoke about something with passion, he gave that passion to you, made you think about the subject. He was the only person I knew who could really command a room full of rowdy teenagers - He was sweet and soft-spoken, but he demanded respect. We always had a connection. He liked talking with his students, actually being a friend to them, and he was the only person I knew who encouraged me to speak my mind, and who wanted to listen to every word I said. He had his group of favourites - anyone who could actually read and who didn't spit gum on the floor - and I was one of them. Because of him, I felt like I was actually worth something, like all the people who teased me at school would end up in the gutter, and I would go on and achieve. It was a little while before I realised that it wasn't just the praise and the good marks that I liked, it was getting HIS praise. I melted in the centre when he smiled at me, and I honestly don't think there could ever be a more adorable person on the planet (No, he wasn't what most people would call attractive, but the more I talked with him and got to know him, the more physically attractive he seemed to become. And he was charming, there was no doubt about that.) There's that old, cheesy saying about people coming in to our lives for a reason, but I can honestly say that I would not be quite the person I am now had I not met him. There was absolutely NO chance of us ever being together, but I'm content, because I know now that there ARE people like that in the world - And as a lonely, bullied little girl, I always thought that I would never fall in love, that the only guys out there were obnoxious and immature, and the only girls out there were little *******. But now I know better. I know the sort of person I want to be with, and if they turn out to be anything at all like him, I know we'll be married for the rest of our lives and have a dozen kids! Because I could never have grown tired of him.

no offense but you guys are in love with teachers. i don't think anything is really going to happen. teachers are here to educate and his job is done. you should let it be

I was in that situation too ... I still kind of am. I have loved my 8th grade teacher for almost 10 years. He's married, and 15 years older than me. I got to babysit for him a couple of times, which was great, but also really hard. I'd thought I was over him, but I wasn't. <br />
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I know nothing's ever going to happen, and I've found that it's made it really difficult for me to be attracted to guys my own age because I think of how wonderful my old teacher was. <br />
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Contrary to what everyone else has said, I don't think you should tell your teacher that you love them. Even if they aren't your teacher any more. <br />
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I am actually a teacher now, and I can't imagine feeling that way about any of my students. I would be seriously freaked out if even an ex-student told me that I felt that way.

ditto it's kind of weird.

I'm sort of going through the same thing. except he's like 15 years older than me. He's my PE teacher. And if you saw him doing push-ups or his deadly smile you'd be head over heals in love with him too. My advice, go for it. You'd regret it if you didn't and he got married and had kids.<br />
-maddie(:

I think you should take a chance. I fully believe you'll regret it if you don't. I think you should just try and relax around him and be yourself. Don't be focused on trying to be what you think he would be interested in. Just be attractive, casual, and you. I wouldn't tell him "I've loved you for years yada yada" because he is just going to feel like its just a lingering crush from high school. You want him to feel like you have matured and in your years you've just come to realize you keep looking for a guy like him. There is nothing strange or awkward about it. You are an adult now and so is he. Ask him out for coffee or get creative and do something fun with him. Looking forward to hearing updated. :)

can you post a picture of yours and his? i just really need it for my assignment... please....

Naww it'll work out soon :). Just do what you feel that your instincts are telling you and take a chance. :)

i know exactly what your going through im so in love with my history teacher he taught me for 5 years and i know im going to have him next year as a teacher. We have a 16 year age gap but that doesnt even matter to me coz i love him. whenever im not around him i feel so incompleate and i just cant stop thinking about im. Im just like you every time he talks to me i just cant think of what to say back, i wrote him a note last year explaining how i felt but left it annonomous and it just happend that he found the letter in his room while he was teaching my class and read that letter out to my class he didnt know it was from me but iv never felt my heart beat so much. Im planning to tell him how i feel in two years time on my last day of school hopefully he with take me more seriously by then as i would be 18. I think you should tell someone about your situation who will take it seriously iv told one of my closest friends and she has known for a year now and hasnt told anyone it really does help if someone who you can talk to takes you seriously coz they will be that one person that you can talk to. I really think you should tell him now that he doesnt teach you it will be less awkward as you wont be a student to him anymore and if it ends badly you wont be to blame at least you tried. Good Luck !!

Wow. It is all so familiar. I know this doubt and and constant not knowing. The ache that you feel in your chest when you don't see them for a long period of time. The Poems and stories. That was until I realized that it was all classic desc<x>ription of an obsession.

i still love my teacher and i am 25. i not seen him for 13 years i have felt this way since 8 but this deep since 11. i just cant get over him at all

Seriously, I have the exact same situation like yours. And Everybody else. I'm 16 and he's like 27 but that doesn't exactly stop my heart from liking him. And it totally sucks. I liked him for like four years now. Since the day that I met him. First day of freshmen year. I have so many dreams about him. And most of it were about us together. like couples. And Every time I see him my heart skips a beat. His subject seems like five minutes for me but in fact its an hour. When we talk I just stay silent and can't even form a coherent thought. I can't act normal when he's around, I just suddenly turn into a tight-lipped frog and shuts up. I always steal glances and honestly tries my best for hours just to see him even for a second. And I know It's kind of weird But I keep a picture of him :D <br />
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Now I just graduated. And I can't just leave it like that. without saying a word about it to him. Although I think He already knows about it. And I promised my friend that I would tell it to him personally when we graduated. Well, I guess I failed. I don't want it to end. I will be missing his perfect face. His gestures. And girl, I think he's showing some signs that he feels the same way but I guess I'm just hallucinating. Or just Exaggerating things and just looking too much into it but his actions does show something. Or maybe he's just too sweet to his students. Anyhow, now that I've graduated, my friend (the only one who knows about it) told me that there's nothing wrong about me liking him specially now that we're already college students and I should follow what my heart wants. But I think he has a GIRLFRIEND. Gahhh. I know he has. I heard from my classmates (Which were actually always with him. they hang out together. He's totally like a student.) and I think she's working abroad. So I don't think I stand a chance with him.<br />
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But In your case, you should totally tell him what you feel. Despite what his reactions would be. Set your heart free with this uncontrollable feeling inside. I know you want him badly as much as I want mine so you should totally tell him. As in my case, I'm still thinking about it :)

Wow, I honestly thought I was the only one in this situation, I really like my U.S. history teacher too, but I'm too scared to even say the most simple things to him. If I were in your situation, I would probably gather up the courage and tell him, life is short, and if you care about someone you should let them know. And even if he doesn't feel the same way as you, I'm sure he'd be flattered to know how much you like him.

That's soo weird, my situation is the exact same as yours. I'm 16 & he's 26. He was my Civic's teacher when I was a sophomore now I have him for U.S. History. I've liked him for about a year now, yeah I know not very long. But I get all nervous & I start losing my words when I speak with him. I feel you girl haha (: I wish you the best of luck!