I Feel Like Such A Bad Person

I hate myself for liking him this much. He's the only person on my mind, a good 80% of the time. I know that makes me such a creepy person, and I often worry about what he would do if he were to find out. The thing is, everyone says there's a possibility he could feel the same way about me. I relish that idea, entertaining alternate realities in which he confesses such a truth to me.
But he could lose his job if he were to feel the same way! He wouldn't be able to be a teacher anymore, he'd be labelled a sex offender, he'd never get to see his children's school events, it would positively ruin his reputation if he were to cross such a line! I tell myself that we'd just wait to make myself feel better, but I know that even so much as thoughts like that can get you fired these days. Its the cruel reality of the world.
Why then, with every touch, glance, smile, and stare do I fall harder and deeper? I need to stop, I KNOW I need to stop. If he finds out...it would be either the end of me, or the end of him. I know I'm a terrible person, I don't need this fervent crush to remind me daily.
wi4mep wi4mep
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 17, 2013

You are not a terrible person so please stop saying that. We are all human beings and we are different but alike in many ways. You have come to the right place to share these feelings towards him. It takes a lot to share these strong waves of feelings. You are a strong person to share this and thank you for doing so.