a Male Friend

He and I both are married  w/kids...


We have been really good friends for years. He was recently in town and we had a gathering at my home. I took him back to where he was staying afterwards, when the evening was ending. We'll we decided to drive around for a while, just to catch up, to have some more time to talk. Somehow, this evolved into a very deep conversation where he told me that he really cared for me, mentioned the word Love. He continued to talk about life in general, our families, what we are missing in life and so on. He then asked me what I thought and I told him that I had feelings for him and have had them for a long time, I actually loved him. I thought that we may have had a perfect life together had he not moved away,. He did say that he had them as well but at the time he wasn't ready for the relationship and felt that he would not have been basically mature enough to treat me respectfully. I'm great with that!! We spoke some more, and even though neither one of us are ready to leave the place that we currently are, if we ever divorce our current spouses we will be together. Of course in the midst of all of this, we did have other words, thoughts and feelings. Discussion and advice to one another of what can be done to improve our current relationships.


We have spoke since he left and we both agree that we are not ready to leave our spouse and that we consider one another really close friends...that will never end. We fully understand each others personality and carry one another's hearts with care, the ability to speak our minds 100% having in depth conversations, trusting one another with our lives. I was once told to make sure I grow old with someone of which I can have wonderful conversation...

Damaged Damaged
31-35, F
3 Responses Oct 10, 2006

Good for you, staying true to your husband in spite of your feelings for this other fantastic man. It's very honorable, and it must feel really good to get those feelings out in the open with your friend, even if nothing can come from them yet.

I didn't say anything about he and I sharing sex, that's not happening and it won't. And no where did I say that a divorce was going to happen. It was simply expressing feelings that we have had for one another but never expressed before, I am not giving up my family or my husband that I obviously married for a reason and neither is he. We simply stated that IF and we mean IF a divorce ever happens, basically, the opportunity to be together would be there. Maybe it never will...

I am not being judgemental...just looking for insight. Why would it be an importance to get a divorce from your spouse(s), if ya'll are already sharing sex with one another, which is what sanctifies a couple's being together as "wedded" and one? Why bust up a family unity that your kids are used to?