My One And Only

Hes my ideal partner. Someone I want to be with so badly. We started off as friends but it developed into admiration and much love. He's the one I want to spend forever with. We share everything in common and can talk for hours on end. His little neurotic habits are kind of endearing. He brightens my days and calms my nights. Even though he's not here with me...he still stays on the phone with me until I'm asleep.

We had a falling out over a misunderstanding. And he thinks I'm better off without him in my life. So not true. His insecurities make him feel that hes not deserving of me....but he is. If anything i dont deserve him. The pain of him gone rips me apart inside. I'm lost and clueless to what I'm doing or where I'm going. I feel as if this pain I feel will never go away unless I have him back in my life. I want nothing more in this world than to have him by my side.

Sunshine...I need you...I want you...I love you & miss you. Please come back to me. We can still make this right. Believe in me please. Everything will be fine.
hadyourchance hadyourchance
36-40, F
35 Responses Mar 23, 2012

love hate in out up down, their will always be a reason why the other is not good or your not good enough or she is not good, their will be many more of these types of things in your life you just need to feel your way around then and only then will you have an idea what it is you need or want in your life, be well always.

This sounds like the other half of my story. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Hopefully I'll be able to fix my issues before a girl like you is lost to me forever.

Good luck my friend.

I know that I could never fill that void, but I love the chance to at least be your friend. If that's okay with you.

It is apparent that many care for you. They may not say it but I will: " **** happens". I empathize with you- I've been there. In my case, it was more than a misunderstanding, though. She quoted Steven King "I'm glad to say that we met, I'm sad to say that the circumstances weren't on our side."<br />
Point is, what appears to be trivial can inexplicably go horribly wrong with unintended consequences. It can even happen to beautiful Swedish-Brazilian women.<br />
I do truly do feel for you, and your story saddens me,I may just be an oversexed old man, but i am of more than average intelligence and have learned some, but not enough things over the years.<br />
So I say to you, "But, at the end of the day, you have to accept the Now, hope for and not concede the Future, and cherish the Past."

You are a very wise man, my friend. Thank you for your brilliant insight :)

You are more than welcome. I can empathize with the hurt, unlike a beautiful woman lamenting her *** is not perfect. To be fair I have not seen it and if your *** is hideous, I apologize.

A few here have seen it...they could probably tell you the truth.

the truth? I can't handle the truth. Your ***, on the other hand...

The few here of whom you speak, the namelesss did they get so lucky?

My advice and empathy stand

1 More Response

I'm in the same situation. I want him, but it will never happen. When he comes into town we get together when he leaves my heart just breaks

tell the guy and kiss him passionately

If only it was that simple.

trust me its our negative emotions that makes it is supposed to be easy, so is the way our heart is made...the more u keep it inside, the more it will pain
though if u tell then even the pain has a sense of ****** :)

Make it simple. Its always as we make it. Don't let perception guide ur life

Very sweet . . . sounds like he can't love right now, needs to focus on himself, tending his own "garden." But maybe in future. If not, it's obvious you have much to give, and I have no doubt you'll find someone truly wonderful.

I have some advice for you! When stuff like this happens and you write stories like this tell the guy what you just told us! Your incredibly gorgeous and he will see your true feelings and hopefully fall for you! Give him your honest opinion don't think about what your ganna say just let it happen if its meant to be!

In my 20's I date a lot of women who would often be conflicted about a relationship with me. I actually sought out women like this. I did not feel I deserved love so in a way, not conscious to me, I choose women accordingly. Oh and sometimes I sort of did acts to "move along their leaving me". Some women were amazing, but they shared this (comforting to me on a deeper level) inability to commit to me. To be honest I also wanted to not be tied down and it was easier when they left but that is another comment.

In my relationships....there was a certain action I would make, a thing I would say...something that would have them "turn" against our relationship. They would give up on us. Often I would chase them, but to no avail.

When i got into my 30's....this pattern of dating got a bit boring. Intimacy for me started to get more exciting. I made a conscious decision to not push someone I like away, to express myself fully and if I was rejected I would leave the relationship permanently and move on quickly. Essentially accepting that I had value and that two people determine the fate of a relationship. I was no longer going to be accountable for their actions and opinions of me. That I would be myself and force them to react to me. With this understanding I had a not too bad 4 year relationship quickly thereafter and currently a happy 15 year marriage (at least for a guy who finds it hard to settle down). I have never given up on us....and most importantly neither has she. She believes in us and me.

Let him go and find what you truly deserve. Unconditional love. :)

It's refreshing to hear from someone has developed enough insight to make positive changes.

Thank you very much for your comment. I believe you're right....letting go is the best option.

Makes me happy to hear. You control your own happiness, not him. :) And if he fails to see how wonderful you are, his problem not yours.

Ktstime...thanks. I feel strongly that good or bad...whatever happens to us, we have to own it. And change what we can. Pity and victimization, is a trap you can't get out of. :)

1 More Response

It's been a few months since you wrote this. Tell him how you feel. Tell him everything. You can't hide these feelings and let the pain fester. Don't be afraid. Call him or write to him. Even if he is with someone else. Face this head on.

I tried :(

There is no try. There is do and there is do not. If you tried then you did 't do it . Go do it now. :)

Best of luck...keep the faith....

I'm sorry to be the voice of reason here but this is mathematically impossible... Here I submit exhibit A:

Lord Byron will serve as exhibit B:
Oh, Love! no habitant of earth thou art --
An unseen seraph, we believe in thee, --
A faith whose martyrs are the broken heart, --
But never yet hath seen, nor e'er shall see

My closing argument would be to expose to the jury that you have been under the influence for too long (Hollywood that is!) and it is now hard for you to discern fantasy and reality. I was 24 when confronted with the egotism of romantic love and the impossible task you silently ask of someone to complete you....

Writing this must have taken guts and hurt a lot!

There is still hope. Let him know how much you love him and exactly how you feel about him and that you don't want to lose him. At least he doesn't have someone else in his life so you still have a chance. What you can do is find out if you do anything to cause him to feel insecure and if so promise to fix it and keep your promise. Your love sounds genuine and I really hope you two get back together. I know what it is like to be in love with someone you can't have, in my case this person is my best friend and is already taken so I have no chance.

he was my best friend too.

I don't if it's true, I hear it all the time and I'll check on you now & then to see if it works. If it's meant to be it will be.
I hope it works for you.

Reading your story made me feel sad!!!


Just keep your head up and don't lose faith. I've had a similar situation happen with my best friend. I still believe shes my ideal partner even though I've barely spoken to her in two years. My thoughts are with you.

Ahhh. I'm right here Hady :]

Aww. That made me smile.

Just doing my job

if you think you want someone that u can talk to &amp; is a darn good listner :P well thats all i got to say

I can so relate to this. There's someone that I've had something very similar happen. It is sad. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.


May your friend come back to you at the earliest - is my PRAYER ♥

I am sorry. But I'm glad you are doing ok!

I'm trying.

I hope this has worked out since your posting. If it hasn't, know that life unfolds in ways we can't necessarily anticipate, but that we can trust as being ok.

Unfortunately it hasn't :( I have no other choice but to keep moving forward. It makes me sad :(

God this was so hard to read for me, i used to be in the same situation. Hope you can make it right with him. Good luck.

I can only hope.

Aww, I'm so sorry, I hope you will be ok this reminds me of the guy I want. He and I are poles apart in every way, he is like.. film star handsome and I am basically just sort of pretty. We are the same age, and guys like younger women, most of the time he has a good job and mine is pitiful, and low paid. We are just a total mis match and yet I am falling for him. I think he likes me but with everything being so mismatched it's hard to believe. I wish you luck, dear lady. I am in the same situation ......

Good luck to you too :)

I'm confused... was this 5.5 years ago that this happened? I thought IU read that you have been single for 5.5 years.

I wasn't ever in a relationship with him....he was my best friend.

now you know how i feel.goood luck,just remember as jimi hendrix said there are many here among us ,who feel that life is but a joke.

It sounds hardbreaking. I hope things work out for you one way or the other.

Thank you.

Im sorry this has happened to You.

i will be ok :)

This sounds a lot like Kathryn and myself.<br />
<br />
Best of luck to you, I know exactly how you feel!

i read a later post of yours. it concerned you being classy.<br />
it seems to me that you have found your "dominant" and are willing to be his "submissive."<br />
in the "natural world" the male is the Dom and the Female is submissive to him, to be anything less would create a vacuum. and nature hates a vacuum. it is not within the flow of things. if your relationship is meant to be, it....will be. have patience and let the natural flow of thing flow. <br />
plz keep me posed as i am interested on how this unfolds. <br />
be well and God Bless,

While it may seem like he's your ideal, surely if so he would accept your assurances that he's desirable and be there. It can be really tiring over a lifetime to keep having to reassure your partner that you love them, they are ok, they are not bad, they are not irritating.....etc<br />
<br />
It also undermines your ability to be critical or give feedback without them shutting down and running away to hide or threatening to withdraw or suicide or.....etc.<br />
<br />
You seem like a balanced and loving woman. I hope you find happiness where ever it appears.

You know are so right. Haven't thought about it in that way before. Thanks for the different perspective.

One of the benefits of being 'weird' is that different and alternative ways of thinking about things comes naturally. Bon Chance.

I agree with the professor here. It takes a lot of energy to keep your relationship afloat when you're the only person fighting to keep the love and passion alive.

I feel your pain don't let it go keep trying...<br />
<br />
@achoooo your ending made me chuckle

Aghh ..We are sailing in the same boat. I love my best friend and can't have her.She is taken.

I had a friend, we were happy together but then fell out and he's jumped straight into a relationship... I'm left alone to think about what happened and cannot mend it as he's now taken. Why? :(

I don't want to be a meanie, but, people just DO what they want to do. If he wanted to be there with you, he would be. I'm so sorry to say that, but, it's true, I am old, I know this kind of crap. Hugs and Smiles.

I know you're right.

You are better off without him...hugs.

I know I am. I realize that now.

I think you should say the samething you have written here and let him know all you feel.You can get him back,don't stop trying.Thanks for sharing your story.

I agree with you, nwtrdr33.