My Love...

It is a long(ish) story I have to share with you, and I would actually love to hear your advice, dear reader. This is the story of my love. It remains largely unwritten, that is, our actual story; this story is currently being typed. I am under the belief that she does not want anything to do with me romantically, but everything does not add up, so I look to you, dear reader, to possibly enlighten this poor fellow with your thoughts on the subject.

I have been smitten with this girl for...six years, give or take. To this day she remains my best friend and closest companion, and I think I may actually have reached the highest level of "friend-zone" our society has ever witnessed. We live together, eat together, and play together every day. She openly plans on having our lives be together until we are old and withered. We have been friends since we were in our early teens. Now you have a little background of us...

I have been in one relationship in my life. I started dating this girl eleven years ago. We dated for four years, off for four, then dated again for three before finally saying ciao forever. It was in that four year break from that girlfriend that I developed my "love" for my best friend. I told her, got shot-down, took a couple weeks to get over it, and then we were cool again for a couple of years...

Then one day I saw it. It was shining right back from her eyes. I know that look, for I've had to master how to hide that very same look years ago. It was love shining back ,and not the kind that breeds an outer-worldly and unheard of friendship. I had no idea what to do. I decided that I would play cool and wait for her to say something, seeming as if I made the first move years prior, it was then her turn this time around, but crickets were all I could hear.

At about this time, I received a letter from the ex-girlfriend telling me everything I ever dreamed of hearing. I got to receive those beautiful words that only happen in books or movies. I thought long and hard about my decision and then made it. Worst decision of all time! Within days nothing was the same between my best friend and myself. I knew that getting back with the ex was the thing bothering her, but like the trooper she is, she held it in. Then I guess she couldn't. The worst night I have in my memory bank involves her coming home from work a few months after I had started getting serious with the girlfriend, and she broke down like nothing I had ever seen. I held her all night while she cried claiming "nothing is going to be the same again". I have never felt worse than at that moment. There were plenty of other things as well that happened, but for the sake of your time and mine, I shall proceed.

The evil wench dumped me on my birthday while I was visiting her from across the country. Seriously, who does that? Just wanted to throw that in there, sorry. It has been almost a year since I realized the full spectrum of my follies, and I have never changed my feelings for her. The whole time I dated that girl, I always thought of my best friend.

I let it fly with her one night in the not-so-distant past. I told her "It has been you, is you, and most likely will be you that occupies my heart". She says we have become too close for any romance. I believe I don't believe what she says. I do not know of which way to go. I am aware she hasn't dated anyone in all the years we have been close. I am the one that is there for her when she has bad times come her way. I fully believe that she will open her eyes one day to see what it is that I stare at all day, but I fear I will no longer be around when she does open them. Thank you for letting me ramble. It feels better just knowing I got this out of my head.Any opinion is welcomed, but I ask to not be too harsh. Have a wonderful day.
420sunny 420sunny
26-30, M
3 Responses May 13, 2012

Too close for romance? Well,what does she think marriage is then,or a long "living with the boyfriend" relationship?
Good timing my friend,does not exist,just people who take it as it is and roll with it;if she is not ready after all of what you have been through,she may never be,sorry...

Your story is very touching and I feel for you. I think she does love you but is still maybe to scared to take that next step. I truly hope she does open her eyes before she loses you for good. Good luck to you

I've got nothing to say about your story but just.. that.. it had such perfect grammar and words do fit in :) Nice and thanks for sharing.

Thank you. I majored in Lit in school, so I guess after a while their strictness starts to rub off. Thanks for reading.

Oh cool! And you're welcome :) And btw, ur already my friend :)