Crush? = Predicament

Well, this would sound like a strange language to you, but for a while I’ve been casually delving into astrology. I’m a cap, but I have my moon placed in Aries and it is intensified by being in the cusp of my ascendant. I have all the traits of a Capricorn, but my uncontrollable mood has always been dictated by my fiery Aries.

Even when I was a child, I remember many of my teachers commented on my report card that I am impulsive and hot-tempered that sometimes my attitude can become out-of-control. Well this energy has always been a trouble maker in my life. I was very vulnerable then, and I was someone that can have a crush easily to someone that I felt connected. When the moon caused the trouble, my Cap sun had to deal with the mess. I’ve learned my life lesson through the hard ways, and now that I am 34, I became more reserved and careful when sharing my feelings and thoughts and learned how to shake off infatuations. Or more like, not getting myself involved in those situations in the first place.

Crush is a mild way to put it, at this point, but the girl that entered (?) into my life wasn’t a love on first sight, although I felt strong attraction from the beginning. There is a helipad on our building that I thought nobody but I knew how to access to reach there. One day, I went out and she was standing on top of the helipad casually enjoying the strong turbulence. Our eyes instantly locked standing on top of the world. I think it was our first time talking about subjects other than work. It was only for a brief 15 minutes, but I felt the time has stopped for us. It was really a magical experience.

After that day, my longing for her grew. It isn’t my first time having this feeling, but it has never felt this strong in my life. I’ve started to show some symptoms like having euphoria when thinking and seeing her. My urge to meet was so strong that I did ask her out for a private lunch. Even then, we end up in a restaurant that served nobody but us – another delightful yet awkward situation. She doesn’t seem to resent me, but I don’t want to cross the line. I am married and she sees someone. We are both aware of that. Right now I just need a good slap on my face from people telling me to “Wake the **** up.”

milkyshutter milkyshutter
1 Response May 14, 2012

thats a beautiful story,<br />
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i'm into astrology too. My sun sign is Scorpio, while my ascendant is Virgo. Which points towards my secretive counsellor like attitude! <br />
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I have recently been feeling an infatuation and i was wondering if you had any tips on expressing it a healthy way . Its hard because i cannot be with this person, and i want to feel these emotions until they are gone; so i won't be so blind; This person is really intelligent and inspiring, so i would love to be able to just be inspired, instead of having this profound emotion stop me from wanting to know this person!

For a while, I was hitting my lowest low. It was getting a little too pathetic. I’m in a managerial position in my company, and I’ve been remiss and neglectful of my duties and to my team members. I came up with an idea to burn my fuel as quickly and as fast as I can.
I've been working out ever since when I couldn't shake off her image in my head. Every night before I go to sleep which is when I think about her most, I go out and just start jogging. I'm just trying to pour out that extra energy I have. Unintentionally, I still fantasize the moments when we met and also imagine the next inevitable meeting which could only be purely my side of view. Intentionally, I’m just trying my very best to think it was a pure coincidence and that this is merely unrequited love.

it sucks. im not used to this emotion, ive never felt like this in my life, and frankly, im kind of embarrassed by it. :/ i feel like i will be judged if i told anyone.

I'm really new to this community. The reason i posted my story is that i had confidence that people here are not judgemental. Some stories here are really inspiring, so I think it helps me too relating to their emotional turmoil. I don't know about you, but I hope you figure out a way to deal with that lovesickness. Despite going through an ordeal, I feel like I'm still alive. I feel like I'm still a boy with great passion and love. It seems l'm giving you an advice when I need one so badly haha

thank you =3 its good to know it is natural to feel this.

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