Hmmm...somebody Please Help...

i am dangerously in love with a classmate in medical schoool i once took's love for hurts to the bone cos she doesnt even notice me anymore.she dates a senior colleague in the profession and it seems they are going to get married soon after we graduate this year.I have come to terms with the fact that,though mathematically possible,it is highly unlikely i can evr have her back but the chain of guilt hanging on my conscience pertaining to what i should have done to keeep her and what i did to push her away is disturbing my sanity.i have tried calling her to talk about it but she treated my humble request like garbage on 2 occasions
at the same time too,i cant force her to grant me audience and every move she makes drives a sword through my heart.i just want her to know that i am not as evil as i might have presented myself at the onset.i miss her in my life and now she is bestfriends with those who hated and wanted us apart.Its a major set back for me and the situation is almost hopeless.
I dunno what to do again now that she wont grant me hurts that i have not been instrumental in her life like she was for me.
smh...what do i do again?
Bukbak Bukbak
22-25, M
May 14, 2012