Was I Good Enough For Him?

I just came back from a 4 days vacation in London and it was great, I enjoyed visiting the city and mate some new people with whom I had loads of fun with.

But, I fell in love.

He (yes, I'm gay) contacted me at first on a dating website and I was interested to meet him, so we saw each other in my hotel room and hung out for a couple of hours. It seemed like we both liked each other, it was a fun time.

The next day, he writes to me asking me if I wanted to see him again, this time at his apartment, and I, super excited, agreed. We first chatted a bit, then went food shopping and cooked together. And, after all this, started what was going to be the best night I ever had in my life. We first showered together and finally laid down in bed and cuuddled, kissed, hugged and enjoyed each other for the rest of the time. Thr greatest thing of all was sleeping squeezed between his arms, what a great feeling it was. We also kissed very passionately, it was as if there was so much love between us. Too bad in the early morning I had lo leave his place because I had to catch a plane back home.

I came back yesterday and so far things have been terrible. Already along the journey back I was crying, but now I'm really feeling terrible. I lost interest in everything, not eating enough, last night I could'n sleep (even though a was awake the whole night before with him) and today at school I couldn't concentrate and cried a bit.

I'm almost sure I fell in love with this guy, because I miss him terribly and it seems like I won't be getting over him for a long time. I keep on thinking at him and at the moments I passed together. People tell me not to have him in mind, but at the same time I don't want to cancel my memories of him. He's just perfect form me: good looking, nice, funny and interesting. I'm afraid I won't find anyone else like him, I just want him to be all mine.

But the thing which makes me suffer the most is that it doesn't seem like he wants to hear from me again. Yesterday, when I sent him a message telling him that I arrived home and missed him a lot, he just answered that it was a fun night and wished me luck for the future and nothing like "I miss you too", "I want to see you again". So my point is: is he trying to prevent to have something with mwe knowing that we live too far apart form each other, or is it that to him, our encounter was just a normal 1 night stand? So all the words he told me like "your're sweet, cute and nice" were lies? I thought I was someone special to him because that night there was so much love between each other, but maybe he does this kind of encounters often?

I'm destroyed now, I want him so badly! What should I do?

glimpseofheaven glimpseofheaven
18-21, M
3 Responses May 22, 2012

It's been a month now, have you heard from him yet? I also have someone that I yearn to be with right now.

Hi, thanks for asking. Actually I've recently heard from him by writing him that it's been a month since we met. We are exchanging messages about how things are doing and he even told me that we could see each other again if I go back to London. But you know what it doesn't really matter to me anymore, my feelings for him are slowly fading away which is what I was hoping for. But I still wouldn't mind meeting him again...

PLEASE!!!PLEASE!!!PLEASE.....LEAVE HIM ALONE! I've been there before...only to end up in jail for 30Days, out of self-defense. All he wants to do is....play these mind blowing emotional games with your heart. Find someone or something better to do...then think about him all the time. BE CREATIVE!!! YOUR FRIEND PIECES #2

The worst thing to do is to try stay in his life after he has treated you so badly.<br />
It only ends up with you hurting more :( <br />
Take care of yourself and try and battle past the feelings you have for him. He doesn't sound like a nice man.

I'm not gay but I truly relate to how you feel. All I can say is you may have to learn to deal with the love you have for him knowing he will not return it back. I shared the same story in another group and I admit it is a crippling feeling to love someone you can't have!