Enough is enoughI really need to get this off my chest as its tearing me apart. I've know this girl for over a year. We became good friends and spoke eveyday, and I quickly fell for her.
I've told her I love her, many times. Her reaction is always to question me about it, she will ask me "why do you love me?" and "what is it you love most about me?" etc. She has never reciprocated her feelings.
I believe she is just using me. I have never slept with her, but we have kissed. She often gets boyfriends and then stops talking to me. Until they dump her, then she comes back to me asking if I still love her.
I have tried asking her out so many times, made it so clear I wanna be with her. But often we don't even get to a first date as she makes an excuse at the last minute and cancels, or she says she is busy.
I try to move on, recently I met another girl who I started seeing.. but I dumped her the second the first girl showed an interest in me again. Same thing has happened time and time again. I'm worried this has turned into an obsession.
I don't believe I have a future with this girl. She is just using me, stringing me along, to make herself feel good. I have no future with her yet I can't stay away from her, I'm like a moth to a flame. I hate feeling this way, I know I should stay away. But I fall for her mind games every time.
I guess I'm weak.
UPDATE: I have recently cut off all contact with her. I think I just snapped and finally came to my senses.. I am not interested in even just being friends with her anymore because after everything I can't even speak to her without feeling resentful and bitter. I have explained this to her as best I can and asked her to leave me alone, she wouldn't at first so I ended being nasty, calling her fat and stuff, only way to get her to leave me alone (truthfully, it actually felt really good being so mean to her, like I was finally taking control of the situation and putting an end to it).
The last time I heard from her was 3 weeks ago, she texted me saying she had a new phone and asked if I wanted her new number. Kind of suprised myself when I said I wasn't interested. Haven't heard from her since. I believe she was using the new number thing to see if she could still 'control' me. It failed so shes gone elsewhere. Quite frankly I couldn't care less anymore. Anyways, good riddance. I've got my life back again and it feels great :).
Thank you everyone who posted comments below. It was really heartening to receive all the kind words and encouragement.