Enough is enough

I really need to get this off my chest as its tearing me apart. I've know this girl for over a year. We became good friends and spoke eveyday, and I quickly fell for her.

I've told her I love her, many times. Her reaction is always to question me about it, she will ask me "why do you love me?" and "what is it you love most about me?" etc. She has never reciprocated her feelings.

I believe she is just using me. I have never slept with her, but we have kissed. She often gets boyfriends and then stops talking to me. Until they dump her, then she comes back to me asking if I still love her.

I have tried asking her out so many times, made it so clear I wanna be with her. But often we don't even get to a first date as she makes an excuse at the last minute and cancels, or she says she is busy.

I try to move on, recently I met another girl who I started seeing.. but I dumped her the second the first girl showed an interest in me again. Same thing has happened time and time again. I'm worried this has turned into an obsession.

I don't believe I have a future with this girl. She is just using me, stringing me along, to make herself feel good. I have no future with her yet I can't stay away from her, I'm like a moth to a flame. I hate feeling this way, I know I should stay away. But I fall for her mind games every time.

I guess I'm weak.

UPDATE: I have recently cut off all contact with her. I think I just snapped and finally came to my senses.. I am not interested in even just being friends with her anymore because after everything I can't even speak to her without feeling resentful and bitter. I have explained this to her as best I can and asked her to leave me alone, she wouldn't at first so I ended being nasty, calling her fat and stuff, only way to get her to leave me alone (truthfully, it actually felt really good being so mean to her, like I was finally taking control of the situation and putting an end to it).

The last time I heard from her was 3 weeks ago, she texted me saying she had a new phone and asked if I wanted her new number. Kind of suprised myself when I said I wasn't interested. Haven't heard from her since. I believe she was using the new number thing to see if she could still 'control' me. It failed so shes gone elsewhere. Quite frankly I couldn't care less anymore. Anyways, good riddance. I've got my life back again and it feels great :).

Thank you everyone who posted comments below. It was really heartening to receive all the kind words and encouragement.  
DuckFeathers DuckFeathers
22-25, M
14 Responses Jul 26, 2012

Similar situation with me to bro, it was ******* hard to let a girl go, but when i finally did i immediatly met someone who makes me happy, so goodluck mate that ***** didnt deserve you

good for you duck.. you deserve better than her.. good thing you didn't let yourself be used by her again..

Congrats Duckie!

Now find somebody who'll make you happy.

It sounds like you are her security blanket. I used to do that to my boyfriend when we first got together, we were teenagers and he was crazy about me. We dated briefly and then I got involved with an older man and stopped talking to him. But everytime something went wrong whether I went through a bad breakup or whatever, I always called him because I knew that he would be there without question. I suppose in a way I took advantage of the fact that he loved me and would do anything for me. Today we have been together for 13 years with 2 children. You never know, she may wake up like I did one day and say "Wow, this man really loves me, let me stop playing games and commit to him". I wish you the best!

Wow I've been around a similiar story only I moved to Mexico for six months and haven't talked to her since.

She is using you, which says worse things about her than it does about you especially since she knows your feelings. Don't be defensive when you read that. No person is obliged to reciprocate your feelings but they should at least be sensitive. The best thing would be to cut off contact so that you can move on and find someone who will appreciate you.

I'm sorry *hugs*

you seem like a really nice guy...don't let yourself be treated this way. go out with other women who are interested in you...when you're busy with other things, eventually you will stop thinking about her...<br />
don't mean to offend you or anything...but do you think at some level this may now have become a conquest for you?

About it being a conquest, I have thought about that before, like maybe I've been trying to be with her for so long that now its like I've GOT to succeed, just so the last 2 years haven't been a total waste of time. I dunno whats going on in my own head anymore.

Thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it :)

Tell her you don't want to play any more, be clear. Walk away. Stay away. If she's right for you, she'll wake up and come back.

I'm in this situation too...and believe me...I can't let him go! :(

let it be...this may sound cliche as it may sound but sometimes people come and go....they always play something important in our lives might it be to hurt us or learn because of them..life offer us new chances..why not take a great leap in moving on...you'll never know what's in store for you if you'll get stuck at the moment.... :)

What do you love about her?<br />
Why are you attracted to her?

Well, when we talking its great, we really get on and make each other laugh, and she always asking for cuddles which is adorable. And shes attractive, blonde hair blue eyes. Shes on my mind all the time and we talk everyday.

This isn't love, this is more than lust, she thinks you'll be with her when she stops having her "fun" with other people, well, clearly she doesn't understand that. Don't regret dumping her, she's not your person and you must depart from her.

Let it be .<br />
I am sure one day she will wake up and regret it.<br />
Keep your head up!