Friends With A School-run Mum But Wishing It Was More

As my wife doesn't drive, and the school's too far for two kids under six, I've done the school run in the car, day in, day out, for the last two years.

I'm quite a shy fella, and for quite a while, I didn't really talk to any of the other parents, apart from the odd "Hi, good morning!" kind of thing. They didn't know my name (or thought it was something that it wasn't), and I didn't know theirs. It was a nice, easy arrangement - I took the kids, disappeared off to work, not really thinking about any of the other couple of hundred adults that I'd temporarily shared a space in the playground with that morning.

Then something changed. While waiting for the doors to open, one of my kids bumped into a girl (literally) from his class. Both children were a bit dazed and confused, and after the mandatory "Are you alright?" from both parents to the kids, the little girl's mother and I started talking.

I'd seen her there plenty of times, and - let's be honest - us men see any women and decide in our heads how they look, and I thought she was quite pretty, but didn't think about her in any other way.

So, every time I saw her, we generally ended up talking to each other. And sometimes, her husband came along, and I talked to him too. But it didn't take me long to realise that I actually preferred it when he wasn't there, and that I really enjoyed talking to her.

She quickly went from being pretty, to being beautiful and gorgeous. On the days I didn't see her, I actually missed her. Throughout the day, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Was I falling in love with her? No, don't be silly. I didn't know her that well, not really. It must be a crush then... Yes, that's it.... Isn't it?

She was there with me, in my mind, 24/7. And then, brief moments of reality would kick in... Even if I could have her, even if she wanted me, there's two people stopping us - Her husband, and my wife.

And yet, our relationship, in a way, progressed. Even if it's only the same level of progression you expect as a 13-year-old. Facebook friends... exchanging mobile numbers... text message conversations that started innocent but "accidentally-on-purpose" (by both of us) got peppered with various innuendos... The sort of message that other people may think would be dangerously flirty (and they'd probably be right)

But, we were just friends. Actually, good friends. I didn't want to be, but had to be. It still has to be... and that actually hurts more than it should be allowed to.

CapnChaos CapnChaos
31-35, M
Sep 10, 2012