I Won't Believe It's True!

Been in a 3 year relationship with one of the most wonderful woman that i had come across, this was my feelings towards her the first 20 or so months! In a year and a half of our relationship we had a handsome a** lil boy who looks like the both of us, now he's 15 months old, how time flies! When we got together I was between job's but still had an income through state benefits, anyhow she had nothing, never worked before at 21yrs old but I was attracted by her not her finances.
She used to have a lil crush when she was younger towards me, being that im 9 and 1/2 years older than her I paid no mind to her. Then one day we ended up hanging out started drinking then fooled around something tough and didn't have sex which was harder than I was but that made me desire her even more! A few months go by then finally I get n touch with her an we met up at a hotel because neither of us had our own place, that night was
great an that began our relationship! For months I got rooms bought food an anything else we wanted or needed at least 5 to 6 times a month, I would give her money when she needed it as long as I was able I would do it and I never asked her for anything!
I truly loved this woman indefinitely and it felt great to love an b loved back. About two months n I lose my place of living due to a family matter and my only choice was moving to merced n which I brought her with me, we really wanted to be together. We stayed there roughly three months and during that time I took care of her without a doubt, because I loved her not to expect anything n return. We move back to our previous residences an within days of our return I get a job an first thing I can think of is getting our own place! A few weeks later we found out we're expecting, we were both joyous of the news wanting to start our own family! We were together most her pregnancy and n July of 2011 I moved n with her at her moms which was good because our son was to b born the following month!
After his birth things did start to change but before that a week after having my son I lost our car giving her brother a ride not knowing his associate had a firearm n the car being enough said I lost it! Then a week later I bull s*** u not I lose my job, I mean wut the f*** is happening and y now, y me is all I can think! Our only transportation, I was the only one working and it effected me n the worst way because I worked so hard to assure my woman that when our child came were going to b o.k. and I feel it took my self confidence as I feel I let her down. We started to argue more an I used that as an excuse to hang out after time, kicking it with her brother an his friends or jus any reason to hide my inner feelings that at the time I didn't know how to share it comfortably!
To speed up a bit presently its been a year since I've had a job during that time our I mean (her) income is what is taking care of my son, thank u county assistance, but no seriously I appreciate that being available for my son as well as her! I don't ask her for much of anything and if I did she copse an attitude so I really don't bother, it's not like I dont have to pay all she received from them or I haven't made any sacrifice for her!
This past month has been the toughest on me an im sure her as well, but she tells me she doesn't want to b with me anymore out of the blue with no real reason except I dont have a job mind u shes never had one! She also says I abused her by trying to grab her to avoid her hitting me and mentally for arguing an name calling which we've both received from one another! I been trying to work through this whole ordeal because I really love her an she fails to realize this and she says she has no love for me lathrop all, wow really!
I asked for one thing and that is to have my back like I have hers an support me n trying to except my faults or mistakes to learn from them beyond just acknowledging the facts an still she will not let up! If any reason of worth or any value in us giving the chance to wrk through this is our son n consideration to growing up n a broken home as she had, so shouldn't she understand what effect that can take on a child growing up! I know I was being irresponsible letting s*** get the best of me instead of keeping it pushing an striving for my family that im supposed to love which I do and I realize I was expressing it the wrong ways! I've been honest, loyal, faithful, trusting and any good I could have done isn't respected n the least bit.
Im a believer of God, through Him I believe, through Him I have faith, through Him im not at liberty to give up on her, I trust through Him that all is possible!
I've came to conclusion that it isn't healthy to keep trying when she isn't plus it causes more suffering on us both, so that being said I have to be a man of exception and move forward as she desires though it's killing me every moment!
Is there anyway this can b salvaged n anyway or is it what it is an thats that, personally I don't feel it has to b our I mean (her) solution! In dire need for advice I really don't want to lose her, love is the life u build with someone!
Souldier Souldier
31-35, M
Nov 30, 2012