First To Lose The Key To My Heart

He was the first to own it too. Idk if anyone cares but I've never properly told the story of our breakup. It happened so quickly. To put everything in a nutshell, our relationship lasted for three good years speckled with some bad times. He was 15 and I was 14 when we started dating. We were very happy. The bad times overwhelmed us mainly because of his OCD and my attitude, which was mostly negative. We had lots of rough patches because of that and at first, a majority of those times were because of me. When I was about 16, though, things began to even out a little better. His OCD was gradually becoming less of an issue and my attitude was lighting up. When I turned 17, our relationship was near perfect. We were both happy and we were a good balance. No one was complaining anymore and I was quite proud of us for working on our individual faults. I, of course, loved him very much. My attitude had improved drastically as my home life got better. Then one day, we went to one of his friend's concerts with his brother and two of his friends, both girls. My stomach had been hurting and I told him so a few times during the concert. On the way back home, the others engaged in conversation, and I began to get jealous but I didn't say anything. A few times in the past I'd had trouble with my bf. But I had dismissed it as part of his laid-back of non confrentational nature. He never really seemed to set up boundaries with other girls or tell them when they were getting too close. I, on the other hand, would tell him when other guys flirted with me and I always turned them down. He never really seemed to care so much about that either. I feel like I sometimes had to teach him to care about that at all. Anyway, about the ride home. I could tell something was up because he ignored me pretty much. After getting home I texted him to talk about it. I asked him if he had had a crush on her and he admitted it might be a small one. I went to bed that night kind of confused and shocked. The next day he invited me to go out with him and some friends (including the girl) and I declined because I had to work. While he was out a sent him a message saying that I loved him! He sent me one saying that he wanted to take a break. I answered back angrily, sarcastically that he could take all the break he needed. For 16 days I cried sporadically. If anything reminded me of him I could start the waterworks. I found out from a friend that he broke up with me to "date other people". He'd asked the other girl out while we'd broken up. She said no, and asked about me since he and I had been going out for almost three years at that point. Fumbling over his words, he'd just said that we weren't together anymore. I had to admit, I was glad the girl turned him down. Eventually, we started talking again. It was initiated by me because I had so many questions and so much anger. He hadnt even told me why he'd dumped me. He response was that I didn't ask. But yes, we ended up back together. I told him I was having trouble trusting him openly but he said he didn't mind waiting for trust o be built up again. Once again, he made me mad because he'd do things like give the other girl gifts and rides home right after we got back together. So I told him that was disrespectful to do things like that. He reluctantly stopped doing kt. From that point, our relationship took off again. We were even happier than before. I appreciated him even more and worked hard to show it. Right before Thanksgiving he left for New York to perform jn the Macys band. I was extremely proud of him, even though we wojldnt get to spend our anniversary together. We did finally get to spend time together. I met his grandparents and hung out with his family all day. Then he came by my house and showed my parents pictures and stuff. It was great. But I noticed something. He had been texting a girl all day. That didn't bother me. I'm really not the jealous type at all. I did have one problem though. He kept lying to her about what he was Doing and who he was with. Later that night I talked to him about it. His response shocked me. He said he'd had lots of fun in NYC and had done things and had gotten to be a different person and Thats why he didn't want to talk about me or anything at his home even though he cherished it. I answered back ok...
That night I thought hard. I'd been trying for awhile to work on my attitude. Since our relationship started, I thought that was the root of our problems but I was beginning to realize it wasn't. After my attitude was great, he'd still never listen to me when I got upset about something. Instead he'd just argue with me or turn it back around on me. And him not telling another girl about me was suspicious and disrespectful. It was hypocritical too. A few weeks ago a guy liked me. I told him the guy was always flirting and he insisted i tell the guy we were dating. I lauged about it and held off, kind of just playing with him. But of course I told the guy, who never cared that we were together. He just wanted to flirt so eventually he stopped when I told him my boyfriend didn't like it and kt was disrespectful. It bothered me that I wasn't getting the same treatment. The next day at school I had gotten so angry at it all that I didn't talk to him. I didn't honestly know what to do. That's not normally how I handle our problems but so much bad seemed o be happening and right after our anniversary. When we got home we communicated. I told him frankly, honestly, and politely that I thought it was rude of him to do what he did and hide his relationship with me. I told him it hurt my feelings and I wanted him to tell her because it was disrespectful to go around the truth like that. An argument happened. He got mad at me and said I couldn't control what he said, which was true. But i could control my response to that and I broke it off with him. He insisted that he wanted his gifts back from our anniversary and that he'd give me mine back. Since then I've been trying to figure things out. I still Love him but Im not going to be with him again. I'm done. I feel like lying about your relationship and letting other girls do whatever they want is just wrong but that's what he'd done. He'd exhibited that type of behavior at certain times over our relationship. I guess I have to move on to brghter and happier things.
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Dec 10, 2012