Z For ZachariahSo, there is this guy... And actually, I normally feel attracted to every guy who gives me a bit of attention. Well he never did. We're at the same school and I had a crush on him for 3 years now. He's kind of a bad boy and he's english. Tall, blue eyes, blond hair, handsome, a bit older than me. The worst is that he's a hell of an artist, his drawings are really beautifull, and I know about art.
Anyway, "we" is completely impossible. First of all, I'm not his type, he likes thin blond girls, I'm fat and I dye my hair any possible colour but blond. And even if I was his type. I completly spoiled my chances last years when I was completly drunk (I mean completly) and asked my friend to ask him if he wanted to sleep with me. I' still ashamed of this. And I don't even know why I like him, I mean, even if I'm open minded and don't judge people on their sex lifes, I, myself, am more of a frigid virgin. And he's pretty... well, let's say... in too it. Anyway, we're like sun and moon : he does a lot of drugs, he doesn't listen in class, he doesn't respect authority a lot, he's a party guy, sociable and everything. I only do drugs like, once in a month, or less, I'm a really good student, I'm completly submitted to teachers and authority, I don't like parties, I'm not sociable, I'm actually kind of an introvert. The worst is that I keep fantasising about how we could build a family and live together and everything. He's like my ultimate goal in life and I know, one day... I'll sleep with him. This sounds a bit weird comming from me. But I think it would be a good way to "take revenge" or something, I don't know
And besides that, he has a girlfriend, but I never concidert her as a major problem cause he's cheating on her pretty often. But it might be a mistake of mine to underestimate their relation ship. Anyway, it will never be. At least, it won't be yet. But it was nice talking about it, made me feel better. Thanks.