Wish I Never Knew You

If I could have ordered you from a catalogue you couldn't have fit the bill more closely.

You were coming out of a bad relationship, I would hear her talking about you abusively and having to keep that inside.

I was also coming out of a bad relationship as well as a number of other problems.

We seemed to have so much in common, I spend the best part of a year becoming more and more close to you. You are so lovely and charming and funny, kind to me, after what I had been through, I was a sitting duck for the feelings that came out of that.

I thought you understood me and that I finally had someone I could talk to...

I am older than you, but I am not really bothered about age, I was hoping against hope you would feel the same way. At the same time I was conflicted and even though I was falling for you in a way I never have before, I didn't want to freak you out either by coming on too strong. Mixed messages I never meant to give out...

I have never felt this way about anyone before, tall, dark, handsome, a bit shy sometimes, a lot like me in many ways.

Now you make the decision to go back to your bad relationship, it seems to be out of duty and obligation. Also moving away out of town, thousands of miles away...I can't even put into words how I am feeling. I have no choice but to be strong, I can't do anything about your choices, but this is ripping me apart...I have to continue working with you until you leave, and getting through each day is a struggle that I could never before have imagined.

This is all of my worst nightmares combined, I've cried everyday since I found out.

The pain I'm going through makes me wish I'd never met you and didn't know you existed, this will honestly torment me for the rest of my life. I would have done ANYTHING to make myself more worthy of you, if you'd just given me time.

I feel like I will never recover from this, all my hopes of us perhaps getting together, the things I thought we might do together, things we'd talked about for years, being your ally, perhaps more.

What can i do to get over this pain?  This is like falling into an abyss...

An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Feb 4, 2013

still painfully trying to get through each day I never thought of say this but it will be easier when you have gone at least then I can begin to heal...

well... this is kinda confusing but i've seen many (mostly girls... i really wonder why?) that return to bad relationships... and they never find a good end.

open your eyes, this person make a bad choice, you might be the dream of another person, i have fall on that abyss and a person took me out, i bet you'll find the same.

CHEER UP!!!! coming out from depresion feels really good.