Enthusiastic WalksQuick background: I was rejected recently on Valentine's day by a girl whom I had had a crush on for 2 and a half years. It wasn't extremely heartbreaking, but it did hurt for a lil' while. We actually, however, became closer friends as a result, which is kind of odd, but I'm not complaining (This is more thoroughly covered in my previous stories).
So, today I asked this girl, whom we'll call "L," out on a walk; not anything fancy or romantic, just a stroll around the neighborhood. She said she couldn't, because she had to babysit her sisters, but she said it'd be fine if I stopped by and talked a bit.
So, I left for my walk. I started by just walkin' around the maze of neighborhoods, which I am somehow familiar with, and managed to end up at her house after walking for about half an hour. I rang the doorbell, and there L was. The extraordinarily intelligent and extraordinarily beautiful girl I had been madly in love with for so long.
We talked for, more or less, half an hour, much more than the "a bit" that we'd established earlier. Neither of us really cared though, because it was a nice conversation. It was slightly cloudy and windy, but the sun was bright and shining, so we had no weatherly incentives to end it quickly. We talked about all sorts of things, from flying to music, and it felt weird having to end it eventually.
I gave L a hug, and then I left for home. As I walked home, I felt a very familiar, tingly, feeling, and I posed myself a very simple question, which was, "Why am I still in love with this girl?" It was a very interesting question to answer, because I'm still trying to let go of the feelings I have for her, yet it's very self-evident that it's going to take a long time before I can. I know L doesn't feel for me as I do for her, romantically speaking, and I know she probably won't ever feel that way about me, but it's just so enigmatic how, even with this knowledge, I just can't let her go.
Whether or not I'll ever let go of these feelings is still uncertain. All I know now is that she means the world to me, regardless of how much or little I may mean to her, and that I wish the best for her, regardless of what happens to me.