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I Felt It As Soon As I Saw Him

I am so glad I have somewhere to get this off my chest.  I don't really know where to start with this and I feel silly saying what will follow, but I sincerely believe that I have found the man that I have been looking for all these years.  You know they say that when you find someone who feels right or 'the one' you will just know it, and not have any doubts at all, that person just feels right, and nothing even comes close in comparison.  Well I know that I have found that person. I instantly felt a strong connection to this man, and I really care about him. The trouble is , is that we are both in long term relationships with commitments attached etc.  Although we both supposedly 'love' our partners, and would not want to hurt them, we both feel as though something fundamental is lacking in our relationships.  I know it would be too complicated to take things further with this person and would be far more of a risk for him than for me, so we are just going to pretend that these feelings are not there and hope that they go away.  Its not helping right now though as I type this, its as if every fibre of my being is wanting to be with him.  This has totally blown me away, and I never thought that I could feel like this for someone, especially as I dont know this man very well.  I wish that I could just forget it all, but I can't...I keep thinking why should two people be in relationships that will not give them what they really want...and just go along with what seems satisfactory ..and wasting their lives with a 'what if' mentality :( surely its not fair that my current bf and his current gf should live their lives with partners who have secret feelings for other people ( i mean if you love someone really you wouldnt go behind their backs, no matter how drunk you were at the time)...Im just so fed up right now...why cant I have what I want for once...? why is everything so near and yet so damn far all the time?

lonelylexen lonelylexen 26-30 8 Responses Apr 12, 2009

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I know how you feel. I was in the same situation. When you feel it you really feel it and just know that it's right. But I too want something for once in my life, and that is for him to be mine.

I am smitten with my college lecturer. He's amazing, in lots of ways. His job makes it impossible for me to ask him out. He might lose his job even if he rejected me, he'd be forever associated with me, a silly young woman with a teenage crush. He hasn't got a serious girlfriend at the moment and I think he is not gay, but I can't be sure. Gay men really hide their sexuality sometimes. Sometimes gay guys act really straight. Idk, all I know is that I really like him and I think he might like me....just not sure and I'm doubting if I'm even in his league. He's beautiful.

Life teases as it presents its presents to us. Funny thing is fate will determine whether or not one should reach out and grab what sometimes is dismissed as an illusion. I thoroughly believe repetition makes it factual and actual. Not the impromptu drive by sightings but real situations of interactions usually brought on via a dilemma or happen / stance. Living a lie or "playing it safe", will pave the road to what really is to be. I know this first hand. I am glad to hear your keeping things proper. That's stand up. You'll know when its time to deliver yourselves onto one another .. without being drunk.

Thanks for your responses, I know what each of you are saying, I think i do need to confront my current bf and tell him that I am not happy, It will be be better to be deal with it now rather than years down the line, what I feel for the other man is not lust at all, because that entails feelings of a sexual nature, and although that would come in time, what i feel goes much deeper than just physical desire

Thanks for your responses, I know what each of you are saying, I think i do need to confront my current bf and tell him that I am not happy, It will be be better to be deal with it now rather than years down the line, what I feel for the other man is not lust at all, because that entails feelings of a sexual nature, and although that would come in time, what i feel goes much deeper than just physical desire

If you know / feel your current boyfriend is not right for you, may I ask why are you still with him? regardless of whether this "this one" is available or not? Should you not have the heart to set both of you free?

If you aren't happy in your current relationship, then you need to fix it, or get out of it. If you are young then don't weigh yourself down so early in life.

I think your possibly mistaking lust for love . you dont even really know this man. them sort of feelings you are describing come and go. Real love is when your relationship is based on friendship, and your partner feels like your soul mate. I feel for you cause i have been in this situation myself. but please dont make the mistake of thinking the grass is greener on the other side, cause it rarely ever is.