Ghost In Love

I feel like a ghost who cannot be seen or be heard.  Over a year ago I fell in love with the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  It wasn't just her physical though…it was much more than that.  It took only a couple hours to fall in love with her.  She was so different from anyone I have ever met.  I could go on for hours.  A strong yet damaged individual.  Right off the bat I could tell she was concealing so much pain.  This lost girl lit my heart up like a christmas tree.   

It was as if there is this magical force about her.  From the first day I met her I knew she was the one.  Anyway…I ended up orchastrating it so that I would see her consistently for several months on a professional basis.  To do so I ended up spending all my savings…and virtually selling everything I own.  

Eventually we ended up going in on a business venture together (with me using all my resources to fund it).   A year later I'm broke and she has absolutely no clue all I've done just to spend time with her.   To support our venture I actually was paying people to order our product out of pocket.  The reason being…I feared that once that business venture fails…she wouldn't have any reason to see me on a regular basis.  The sad thing is that she still hardly knows anything about me and I know almost everything about  her.   

I've become that nice guy who gets neglected.  Now that the business venture is going sour I fear I will lose my life line…her.   

I'm so tired of being alone.  I dreamed if I could some how create something for her…she would need me to be around…which would lead to her getting to know me.  I figured maybe she could fall in love with who I am on the inside over time.  I know I must sound weak & crazy to you people.  I kept putting her first…and now I'm last.   Still though…I love her.

"You are what you love not what loves you."  Adaptation

alwayspain alwayspain
1 Response Apr 28, 2012

Beautiful... <3 :')