Ghost In LoveI feel like a ghost who cannot be seen or be heard. Over a year ago I fell in love with the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It wasn't just her physical though…it was much more than that. It took only a couple hours to fall in love with her. She was so different from anyone I have ever met. I could go on for hours. A strong yet damaged individual. Right off the bat I could tell she was concealing so much pain. This lost girl lit my heart up like a christmas tree.
It was as if there is this magical force about her. From the first day I met her I knew she was the one. Anyway…I ended up orchastrating it so that I would see her consistently for several months on a professional basis. To do so I ended up spending all my savings…and virtually selling everything I own.
Eventually we ended up going in on a business venture together (with me using all my resources to fund it). A year later I'm broke and she has absolutely no clue all I've done just to spend time with her. To support our venture I actually was paying people to order our product out of pocket. The reason being…I feared that once that business venture fails…she wouldn't have any reason to see me on a regular basis. The sad thing is that she still hardly knows anything about me and I know almost everything about her.
I've become that nice guy who gets neglected. Now that the business venture is going sour I fear I will lose my life line…her.
I'm so tired of being alone. I dreamed if I could some how create something for her…she would need me to be around…which would lead to her getting to know me. I figured maybe she could fall in love with who I am on the inside over time. I know I must sound weak & crazy to you people. I kept putting her first…and now I'm last. Still though…I love her.
"You are what you love not what loves you." Adaptation
alwayspain 26-30 1 Response 2 Apr 28, 2012