Thinking Of Him....................

Im not married,no kids...still young,im 23 and i have a wonderfull boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years but we are in a long distance relationship but he finds time to come see me. I love him,i really do but sometimes i notice he will look at other girls when we go out and i have asked him about it,all he can say is "im just looking' ,it upsets me especially when i put such an effort to look "pretty" for him,get my hair done, wear high heels,nails done. 

Anyway i go to gym and theres this guy that stares at me in gym,he is hot and i find him very sexy. i love the way he looks at me,when we look at each other he smiles and i smile back ,but he has never approached me. Im sure he has a gf or something since he has not spoken to me or he couldve sent his friends up to me if he was shy,but i know I'll never have him. Im in a relationship and i guess he is too. I love the way his shirt tugs at his chest when he works out lol,i only took one little peek. The way he looks at me is as if im the only woman in the gym,even when he leaves he has to glance at me before he goes off. I think of him alot and even at night,i know its wrong to but i cant help it. Theres this spark between us and im not sure what I'll do if he happens to ask me on a date,i would probably melt. I know ill see him at gym today so i always try to look"neat",no messy ponytails lol. Secretly i wish i could spend a day with him,to be in his arms..oh well..a girl can fantatsize and dream can she?

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26-30
4 Responses Mar 10, 2010

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It sounds to me as though the relationship you are currently in isn't working too well. If you can both look at other people in those sorts of ways, I don't believe it's true love. I know it hurts and if he cared that much he would stop because he is aware of the pain it puts you through, but if he really loved you he would only see you and wouldn't feel the need to pay any attention what so ever to any other female. As for you making effort for him, I think you shouldn't, true beauty is more attractive and you shouldn't cover it up by attempting to look pretty. From my experience, guys seem to prefer the all natural you, they don't tend to notice when you make the effort anyway so really, what's the point. <br />
As for this guy at the gym, I say until you are single, stay away, try not to look and think about him because it will get in the way of your relationship. It's understandable why you feel this way because I can tell you are longing to be close to a man but you can't because yours is so far away. Maybe you could consider moving in together, if you think it's worth it, you've been together long enough and you're at a good age to begin settling, however make sure you really think about whether you do want to be with him and whether you do really love him, because if you don't then trust me, the relationship is not worth clinging on to. Also, be aware that some guys, wont allow their friends to talk to you for them due to pride and some guys need a woman to make the first move to give them a little push. Men can be quite oblivious so they will have no idea you are seeing them in a positive light and very indecisive so this guy may still be deciding whether he should talk to you or not; it doesn't necessarily mean he has a girlfriend... xo

Okay, I am going to give you some advise. Be open and talk to your boyfriend about how it makes you feel when he looks at other women. Try not to come across as too critical. Make sure he understands that it hurts your heart when he does it. Make sure he knows that your heart is fragile and you want to be with someone that is going to nurture and care for your heart.<br />
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The gym guy probably has a girlfriend. He is putting out the vibe (discrete glances at you) and I'm sure he would like to probably like to spend some "intimate" time with you. But, I feel certain he wouldn't make the first move (because of his relationship), you would have to do that. So as far as that goes, that is up to you.

I wouldn't worry about him looking at other girls. My Dad used to tell my Mom "It doesn't matter where I get my appetite, as long as I come home to eat."<br />
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Are you in a comitted relationship? You didn't say...are you engaged? If there is no ring on your finger then there is no commitment in my book. It sounds like you really like your boyfriend and that maybe he is Mr. Right. The guy at the gym may be married or engaged, being a guy myself I would say that is why he hasn't approched you especially because of the eye contact, glances, etc. If he isn't attached, why doesn't he come and ask you out? It sounds like you are just feeling lust for the gym guy.<br />
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You risk messing up his relationship (if he is in one) and your relationship for a one night stand that may or may not be what you are imagining it to be in your mind. Trust me I know. Guilt is a difficult thing to live with.