The Pastor's Daughter
Well, This young lady at my church used to be really close to me, we sang together, spent the night at each other's houses, whatever, we did it together. People started to think we were gay and we weren't, but.... then my feelings started to sway that way towards her. Even when she would play the piano, subconsiously, until I realized it, I would get turned on by the formation of her hands on the keys, and her veins that made her hands look a little more masculine. If she were a man, I would be her soul mate. When we were younger, she wrote a letter to me about a dream she had about her and I kissing in a hottub... but like the dummy I can be sometimes, immediately when it got to the kissing part, I wripped it up and being Christian, I told her it had to be the devil. So now we've grown up a little bit and grown apart. Mainly because as we got older, she started to gain more friends, and I felt as though she was puting me on the backburner, so I started to give her the cold shoulder, even though it broke my heart. All of a sudden, we would randomly have these talks about how she loves me and we'll always be close and those friends she gained were only there for a season. But that was about five years ago, and those friends especially this one girl she kinda grew up with, but was never as close as her and I, are even closer now. It's really annoying because I don't know where to drop the ball and move on being that she keeps coming back to me like we're still close, but never ever does she call me during the week. I only see her on sundays and she gives me a big hug and kiss on the cheek... I don't know how to withdraw my feelings that I've invested in this young lady for about ten years. I'm confused, and I'm so weak when it comes to her. Then she has the nerve to talk to me about these guys that she's dating and how she's so in love with them when she knows how I feel about her. I can't tell if she has feelings for me or not... Maybe I should move on, because if she does have feelings, the part of her being a pastor's daughter has a lot to play with her maybe not showing them. Should I move on?