I fell in love with someone when I was young who I later ended up marrying. After 12 years of marriage we divorced. It has been about 12 years since the divorce. Although we weren't together anymore we still loved each other very much. We just couldn't live together. I remarried 5 years ago to a wonderful man whom I love very much but the feelings for my ex haunted me. It wasn't fair to my current husband. I couldn't live this secret life. My ex was in my thoughts everyday as well as my dreams at night. It was making me more & more depressed & slowly ripping my life apart.

In October of last year I left my current husband for 3 months. I needed closure. (we had some other issues in our marriage too) I needed to be able to move on & enjoy my life whether or not I went back to my current husband or not without forever being reminded of that "what if". Although I still do & always will love my ex husband I know we are not meant to be together & all "what ifs" are gone. I gave it 110% but I have grown. I am the same person but then I am not.

My ex & I will always have those special memories together but it is time I live for the present & quit living in the past. As far as my current marriage goes, well that is another subject all together!
gatorgirl013 gatorgirl013
41-45, F
Jan 16, 2013