I Am In Love With Two Men
By "in love ," one usually means in a sexual relationship sense, and indeed, I am in love with two men in that context.
How did I get into this situation? Mostly by bullying -- I never wanted to be married or committed or otherwise bound to any man. My upbringing made me cynical that such relationships could possibly work. Observing the turmoil of the sexual revolution meant I didn't trust men to be men, nor did I trust women to be women. Roles were so ill-defined and so changeable that I decided I would be independent of such fetters.
I didn't realize that a woman who is unbound is a threat. The obvious threat is to women who believe she will steal their husbands; the other threat is to men who see an uncommitted -- more free than they themselves were. Everything seemed to collude against me to allow me to stay unengaged and unmarried.
I eventually was "talked into" marriage with Husband1, who extolled the financial and social benefits -- savings in taxes, housing, family benefits, etc. The truth is I grew tired of resisting.
Husband2 adored me and pursued me over time and space, and ****** me stupid every chance he could get till resistance was no longer an available option for me. With the blessing of Husband1, I became married to the second husband in practice, if not in pure legal terms.
As expected, I disliked such chaining, but over time, I not only grew used to it, but finally saw the benefits of being tied down. Certainly, no one could force me to marry them, as the two men I was already committed to had promised to disallow this possibility and I technically was already married. And although I did not become any less sexually voracious, I rather liked the stability of not having to seek my next ****. They both promised I would not want for sex, ever again. And both adore and support me, such that I feel open guilt for having what others claim to crave.
As a result, my mood has become less peripatetic, and I have two emotional anchors for my storms. I don't feel compelled to run out on anyone, for there is always someone else to catch me. For the first time in my relationships, I feel safe.
How did I get into this situation? Mostly by bullying -- I never wanted to be married or committed or otherwise bound to any man. My upbringing made me cynical that such relationships could possibly work. Observing the turmoil of the sexual revolution meant I didn't trust men to be men, nor did I trust women to be women. Roles were so ill-defined and so changeable that I decided I would be independent of such fetters.
I didn't realize that a woman who is unbound is a threat. The obvious threat is to women who believe she will steal their husbands; the other threat is to men who see an uncommitted -- more free than they themselves were. Everything seemed to collude against me to allow me to stay unengaged and unmarried.
I eventually was "talked into" marriage with Husband1, who extolled the financial and social benefits -- savings in taxes, housing, family benefits, etc. The truth is I grew tired of resisting.
Husband2 adored me and pursued me over time and space, and ****** me stupid every chance he could get till resistance was no longer an available option for me. With the blessing of Husband1, I became married to the second husband in practice, if not in pure legal terms.
As expected, I disliked such chaining, but over time, I not only grew used to it, but finally saw the benefits of being tied down. Certainly, no one could force me to marry them, as the two men I was already committed to had promised to disallow this possibility and I technically was already married. And although I did not become any less sexually voracious, I rather liked the stability of not having to seek my next ****. They both promised I would not want for sex, ever again. And both adore and support me, such that I feel open guilt for having what others claim to crave.
As a result, my mood has become less peripatetic, and I have two emotional anchors for my storms. I don't feel compelled to run out on anyone, for there is always someone else to catch me. For the first time in my relationships, I feel safe.
By:
auroramaru
Age:
46-50
,
Female
