Mutual But Forbidden

I am in love with both my husband and my ex-boyfriend. My ex is married and has kids, but has admitted that he still loves me too. Neither of us want to screw up the lives we have now, but we both fantasize about getting back together someday. I can't stand thinking that I might never be with him again. I cry almost every day. I can't tell my husband, brcause he wouldn't understand, even though I love him and would never leave him.

trinityblossom trinityblossom
3 Responses Mar 13, 2008

I need help too...I have been married for 13 years to a very nice, good, honest man. He is a lot older than me and is now dying of liver disease, and refuses to quit drinkng. He's very sensitive and an artist...he also thinks I'm perfect. A month or so ago my ex found me (thanks to the internet) and the spark is still VERY much there. We dated in our late teens/early 20s and it was very passionate...almost TOO passionate...we've decided that when my husband dies we'll be together again...but I don't know if I can wait...I don't know what to feels so good to feel that way again...?

My situation is a little similar to twoilove. I don't judge you and don't listen to the negativity from others. Yes you may be hurting both of them but I don't feel like you're doing it on purpose. <br />
I am not married but I was with my X for 7 years. He wasn't good to me for a while and eventually pushed me away. I kept staying around and trying even after i moved out. I don't know but I could never let him go no matter what he did to me in the past. Lately he has swept me off my feet and really realized what he did wrong and has made a huge effort to show how sorry he is and how much he wants to be with me and how much he is in love with me. I am held back tho becasue of the hurt he casued me and becasue over the past year while wewer togther but not together i met someone else. i hurt both of them by lying and saying i was single when i wasn't . They both adore me and love me and want to marry me. I love both of them. I cant get away from the x but i feel resentment towards him for how he hurt me . I feel like only time can heal the wounds. The new guy i feel like he is lacking in some things but soooo fulfilling in some other ways that my x isnt. I feel like fate will let be what will be but i also feel like life is built upon choices. I don't know who to choose. I can't live like this. I am so stressed. I feel like iam going to pick the wrong one. I feel likethe new one deserves a real shot of being just with me since I gave my x like 200 shots and only now has he stepped up. I want both of them. I love both of them. This is ruling my life and causing me so much pain and stress. Someone tell me what to do please

Hi, I too am in the same situation. I have been married many years and have 3 beautiful children. I am very much in love with my husband, always have been since I was in jr. high and I know I always will be. Yet, I am in love with my HS sweetheart(who was also my first). I feel they are both my soul mates. Both tell me they love me uncoditionally. My ex is also married and has children and loves his wife, but expresses his love to me. I know I will always love him too. I am not confused on my feelings. What I am is mad that I let this happen. I would never tell my husband too. I just won't hurt him like that. I know (for all you who will respond) I am hurting both of them right now. It was never intentional and you can't control your heart, only your actions. Things are meant to be the way they are and so I say live your life and whatever happens ....happens. Now saying that you have to be the adult(me too) and decide is the grass the risk worth it.... I , myself can't even answer that. I do want to see him... he lives in another state.... to really answer my what if questions. I feel your pain because I am in deep over my head in love with two magnificant men.