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First Love Versus Internet Pen Pal

Several months ago I met the first boy I would ever love. He is absolutely wonderful. He is charming, competitive, magnanimous, and he really does love me. We are a happy couple, but we are uncomfortable interacting in some ways. We write acticulate messages to one another, spend time together, and even cuddle, but our spoken conversations still consist mainly of awkward silences.
Then I met someone else....over the internet. They are so easy to talk to, even when neither of us has something to say the conversation isn't boring. We'll just send smiley faces and dots back and forth sometimes. On top of that, he really understand me. I've had some rather unusual experiences, things most people don't understand or don't want to believe. He has too. I feel really connected to him. There are two problems. One, I don't know if he loves me. One of the things we were talking about a while back was that people always think he's flirting when he's not. I may be reading too much into what he's saying. Two, he lives across the country from me. We plan on meeting someday, to talk about our experiences in person, but that will be a long time from now.
I'm confused. Whenever I'm with the first one I know he's the one I love, but whenever I talk to the second one I know he's the one I love. When I'm not with either of them, I don't know either way. It makes me feel like a horrible person that I could even consider loving someone other than my boyfriend.
deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 18, 2012

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