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Emotions....

i have been married for almost 7 years. we are open and have been open for a very long time.a year after we got married i had told him i had a fantasy of being with an older man.he said if you want to go experance it find someone and i did some one 20 years older than me at the time i was 19. it was a one time thing... soon after i didn't hear anything from the older man.... i would see him once in a while out ..... he never really crossed my mind much.. but after after almost 5 years he contacted me and asked if we where still open that he really wanted to do it again that he thought about it all the time.i was now 24... at this time i didn't consider our marriage as open i had said few times that i didnt want anyone but my husband . he said it wouldn't last long that i was lieing to myself. well i was i guess.... i told my husband about it.... he said ok..... your wanting to do this again even tho you dont wanna be open.... i told him i guess i have been lieing to myself. so we decided to meet at my house. he comes its akward i dont know what to say we end up haveing a 3sum we talk for a month then nothing.he stops talking to me he got a new number.... after a few months of nothing. he's back in my life.... we start sleeping together... once in a while.... its nothing more than that.... but slowly .... my feelings are getting ... where i don't know how i feel .... i know it would never work between me and my friend.... what it is is all that it ever will be... i know that . why my emotions to get caught up is beyond me well i know why... because you can have sex once with no emotion.... you can have sex more than once and it mean nothing but once you keep going.... seven eight times the emotion begings to build weather you want it to or not. so loving one man. side by side everyday and loving another from afar my not feel great it hurts sometimes. but i wouldn't change it.
deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 28, 2013

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So who did you choose?