The OneI believe I have been in love with you since the moment we met, before I ever even saw you face. We met online, both of us lonely, both of us wanting to connect. It was a one in a million chance, and though I don't really believe in fate it felt like fate.
I don't believe in soul mates. The idea that there is one person out there for everyone, and only one is absurd. There are many people that could be right for you and the different stages of your life, and although I don't believe in miracles either (what, me a cynic? No way!) us entering each others lives at the exact right time feels miraculous.
We connected. Conversation flowed easily, we had a similar sense of humor. We understood each other and bonded over our shared experience of a lonely marriage. We shared these hurts openly and honestly as one can only really do with a near stranger.
In some ways we discovered we were exact opposites. You a person of deep faith, myself an unapologetic atheist. You, worldly, well traveled and educated, me wise in the ways of human nature and experienced in all the way you are not. You found my brashness refreshing, I found your naiveté adorable and endearing. However, what we found is that at our cores we are the same. Both bleeding heart liberals, with deep devotion to our families. Both kind, honest people who ache for those that are suffering. Both starved of intimacy and love.
Because of our past I believe we have an appreciation for each other that few have. We didn't expect to find love, didn't think it was owed to us by the universe. Going so long without someone to love you, to need you and appreciate the person you are has made us treasure one another. We have developed a shorthand for how the other is feeling that usually only comes after many years with someone, if ever.
The last few years with you in my life have been the best ones. I don't feel I've ever been known by anyone the way you know me. You see inside me to core,...the good, the bad, the ugly. You love me anyway. Or, as you said a few weeks ago as I lie tangled in your sheets, my head on your chest, your arms around me, "I more than love you."
I more than love you too. You are my miracle.
autimom 31-35, F 6 Responses 2 Jul 10, 2012