Im In Love But Im Afraid to Lose Him

I met this guy last year,valentines day. He dance with me and i went back to his house, with some of his mates where he fell asleep on my lap, but nothing would of happened even if he had stayed up.
I knew i liked him straight away.
i went out with a 2 blokes throught the year but he always was on my mind, ALWAYS.
Then during July i knew it was time to start doing something about it becuase i couldnt handle it. i wanted to kiss him. Then finally on the 28th of July i went to see him play at a small festival (yes hes in a band, which could be bad). When he saw me he grabbed me and hugged me. His best friend was like your the bloody girl he doesnt stop talking about, obviously i was completely gobbsmacked! He carried me around and we messed about. at one point one of his mates shouted to us "can you two just bloody kiss already" which kinda embbaressed me and lead me to move away to my friends.
We moved on to a small club, completely jam packed so hot!! He was talking to mine and his mutual friend who had orginally introduced us asking him advice about what to do about me (i was watching them in the corner of my eyes, making sure i was looking happy, and kept smilling at him!!) he told him "You two are made for one another. Ive never felt so right about two people being together than i have about you two".
He grabbed me and dragged me on the stage where we begun dancing. Love will tear us apart by Joy Division, and then it happened. The most amazing kiss i have ever recieved in my life. (a bit sweaty but thats forgiven given the circumstances!!) but my heart fluttered.
Im young (19) but i have this real feeling on this guy. ive been with him since, and we've had some rough times (becuase of me and silly xboyfriends) but he has stuck by me. The day he told me he loved me (november) was the happiest day ive had in  a long time. He makes me so happy. but we argue. silly arguments which turn into big ones. I love him and i worry ill push him away. he says i wont but then he still doesnt have any trust in me, which he is working so hard.  Ijust hope and pray to god i dont lose him. We both want to spend out lives together, grow old together have babies, get married.And what shocks me the most is that he feels the same! he wants to marry me! I just worry that ill lose him. ill push him away. i dont want to lose the most amazing, incredible thing ive ever seen, touched loved in my life!!

I swear love is the most amazing feeling in the world. ive never felt some of the emotions i have since being in love, and i never want them to go.
sorry for rabbling!!
bonnievb87 bonnievb87
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 1, 2007

i am in the same situation, lol my boyfriend is also in a band and we started dating in July too and we argue because of my ex boyfriends too and fight a lot, we want to get married and start a family too and I am scared that I will lose him........;)