Pointless

Everything hurts. My body. My mind. My heart.
I'm not good enough. I'm pathetic, weak. I can't do anything right.
I can't sleep at night. I can't eat the way I want. I can't make myself happy. The list of "can'ts" is endless for me. I just want to be completely happy, completely oblivious, for just ONE day. That's all I ask. One day.
Will that happen? Of course not. Sure I have straight A's, but does that mean I'm happy with them? No. Nothing's ever good enough. Not even for me.
Sure, I have a guy that loves me, but does that mean I can be satisfied? No. I end up feeling like he's too good for me and I'm not good enough for him. It's a vicious cycle that I can't let go no matter how hard I try.
Sometimes I just want attention, I can't lie. No one likes feeling alone and forgotten constantly. But let's face it, I'm definitely not the most popular girl in the world, and I can't say I have many real friends. I can't trust anyone.
I'm just sick of living. I want it to end. I don't want to see these people anymore. I don't want to see this place. I hate all of it. It's all pointless.
vicspen vicspen
18-21, F
Dec 6, 2012