45 Yrs Old And Experiencing Perimenopause / Vaginal Dryness / Hot Flashes. Please Help

i'm a wreck and feel like i cant even cope right now.  my hormones are all over the place and i work full time and raise a son and lately I dont even know who i am.  night time is my worst enemy...I wake up atleast 4 times a night drenched and burning up like i cant breathe.  i'm so exhausted during the day because i dont sleep and i'm dating a very sexual man and I used to be as well but now I have really bad vaginal dryness.  What can I do to help with these awful symptons, especially the vaginal dryness because I really think my boyfriend things its his fault and I cant tell him the truth because he is younger than me and very sexual and i am embarrased.  My son thinks i've lost my mind because I cant find anything, cant make a decision and have no motivation. the weekends are spent on the couch exhausted and trying to get enough energy to go back to work on Monday and fake my way thru the week so people dont know that i'm falling apart.  it scares me because I was never like this.  Always had energy and now can barely get dressed by 2pm.  Is ther anyone out there who can help me??  Please, I'm at the end of my rope.

jules235 jules235
5 Responses May 4, 2012

Hello, I am so sorry you are feeling the way I feel. I am 44 and have been taking an anti-depressant since I was 40. When I was forty I litterally had a break down. Anxiety gripped a hold on me so tightly I was a basket case. I have a 19 year old and a 15 year old. I feel like I can't handle the trials of raising a teenager. I am also a high school teacher. I have fared pretty well the last few years but the last few weeks I have been overcome with anxiety. It went away for a couple of weeks but has returned. I have no sex drive. When I have hot flashes my crotch feels so hot and sweats to the point that my under garments are wet. With my anxiety comes diaherra as well. So I am living off ginger ale and nabs. I have resolved to see my gyno. Calling Monday. I want my life back and to be a strong woman again. I feel so worthless in this state. I have a great support network that loves me, but I am the only one feeling this way. I ask for continous prayer. I feel like all my friends and coworkers think I am crazy and a wimp. I try to stay busy and that helps some. My nights start of ok, but I wake up at 3 am with anxiety and then run to the bathroom. I really feel this isn't fair.

Hello friend, I am going through the exact same thing. I just made an appointment to see my doctor. My symptoms are exactly the same; the forgetfulness bothers me more than anything. I was at a job interview last week, and I was doing good until I got stuck. I could not remember what I was going to say, then I had to have them repeat questions. Well..lol you know how that job interview went. I'm in a new relationship, and I know I was the queen of divas, but shortly after I went straight to shrek..lol sorry this is funny to me. I just can't get it together, I don't feel like getting dressed anymore, or doing my hair because its getting thin. I just want me back! Your are not alone....

I'm also 45 and have been going through perimenopause for a few years. Sounds like you need to see a dr. for some of your symptoms. With hot flashes I've found that avoiding certain foods help me. My triggers are spicy foods and alcohol especially red wine. I"ve been getting the phantom periods which for me are the worst symptoms. It lasts longer than if i actually had my period and the cramping is more painful. To help me with sleeping I take benadryl at night and go for a long late night walk. Without the walking I just can't fall asleep. I wanted to try melatonin but cant take it with the meds I"m on so check with your dr. if you want to try melatonin. Friends have told me it works really well. I don't have many other symptoms so can't help you there. I do get the night sweats which at times leaves my side of the bed soaked so I put a large bath towel on my side of the bed so I don't soak through to the mattress. But yes its bad I agree. I hate that I sweat out of areas I never sweat before like the backs of my knees. Out of no where the backs of my knees are sweating. yuck!

Thank you Peace Journey, its so helpful to know i'm not alone. I thought for a few days I was losing my grasp on reality to the point where maybe my son should go stay with his Dad but then relaxed this weekend, did excersice and tried to come to terms with the fact that there are remedies like you suggested. i'm going to see my doctor and explain whats going on but I had a small stroke when i was 43 so it may be limited what I can do as far as any hormone therapy. actually writing on here is therapy so again thank you so very much. xoxo

Anytime ;-) and there are lots of other groups here on EP that can help by brining in some levity into your day or making you think about whatever interests you. The kind of physical symptoms I'd been having made me feel so "different" and a little alone that being able to connect anonymously with others who share some of my interests has helped me regain a bit of balance in my life. Write if you need anything and keep the group update, your story will help someone else!

I saw your post on another story and I just wanted to let you know that I get everything you are saying! The hot flashes at night are just awful to deal with, soaked sheets, racing heart, thoughts that I just couldn't stop..... Then because I wasn't sleeping all the other symptoms were worse! Anxiety, forgetfulness, migraines. I didn't make the connection between all the random symptoms and perimenopause until I did my own Internet search! <br />
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You're not crazy, lots of women feel what you describe. And some women don't get any of his stuff with nearly the intensity and its SO hard to explain to someone who hasn't felt the symptoms. For example, I had a bit of a tough time after my 1 st child was born but I have a cople of friends who had SEVERE postpartum depression, I could empathize but not really understand because my body didn't react to the changing hormones the way theirs did.... But they still had my love and support. <br />
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Excersize can definitely help with depression and anxiety so try to work some of that in if you can. Diet too, gotta take care of the body.. There are lots of posts in the group that talk about herbal supplements so check that out.<br />
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I started taking Prozac 20 mg about 4 weeks ago and it has made a world of difference for ME in many ways but there can be side effects. I'm lucky that has not been the case for me so far but the first 10 days were not fun. In the end you need to do what works best for you, check out the ther posts to see if there are some suggestions that make sense for you.<br />
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Try Astroglide for the dryness if you can't find a natural solution. I don't have that as a severe issue, just a lowered libido ( boo!!!!)<br />
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Take care and hang in :-)

And please excuse all the spelling errors, iPad issues!

This is comforting to read your posts here. I am a new member. I'm recently in a new relationship. I was beginning to think "He" was making me crazy. I used to be a merry-go-round, my life was even keeled, and quiet, comfortable, relaxed. I had a partial hysterectomy back in 2002, but still continued to have a cycle without a period. My hormones appeared normal as normal as female hormones can be. But lately, I've become very moody. Weepy at times. And occasional night sweats now, a few times a month perhaps, but I am very moody, and irritable, especially at my boyfriend. He has been driving me crazy, with the littlest and most insignificant things. I saw a shrink a while back thinking I was going crazy. I'm not. I saw my dr and he suggested i may be perimenopausal. I came out of my first funk about the end of June. Now it's come back around again. I'm not depressed.... just in a funk. Does this make sense?