Reality Check

Here i am in a relatioship for the past five years, everything is going well. Untill the day that i realise that he doesnt believe in marriage! well now what exactly does that mean to me?? Not believing in marriage to me spells fear of commitment, or does it? We have been together for 5 years isnt that commitment??
Suddenly my mind is spinning in all directions, doesnt he love (but my gut says no you fool youre being over sensitive) then why doesnt he want to get married?
Now im wondering why do i want to marry him!?
I spend two weeks realy thinking long and hard about everything and realize that well i dont think i want to marry him either! wow i am actually shocked by my discovery! have i lost all faith in true love and marriage?
So now here i sit thinking once more what should i do, why are we really together is it a comfort zone?
The fact that i am going throught perimenopause isnt making the matter any easier either! hormones are driving me crazy sometimes feels like ive turned bipolar over night lol! happy now, upset two seconds later! (lets get arried no wait lets split up!)

I need a holiday from my own brain!