For a while now it has been there. That little nagging feeling of your different. I didn't and still don't want to face this problem but at almost 11pm Christmas Day in years in tears I think it is time. I like both girls and boys. I want to want that whole Americn perfect white fence, three children and dream husband and oh I do. Then there is the scary side... The part of me that wants to be with a girl that can understand me. Just I hate it all. I hate me. Why, why, why ?? :/ just step by step right? I said it, faced it for a bit but now I am hiding from myself again. For a while at least. Thank you for reading and putting up with my rambling mess of a life.