Up's and Down's of custody

At the beginning of January I and my soon-to-be-ex, D, agreed to a temporary order. He would get the boys M-F and I would take them every other Friday night and then Saturday morning until school on Monday. Early on he changed the rules and said I could have them EVERY Friday after school. This lasted until the end of January when he found out that I got money back from our taxes based on the boys being with me over 51% of the time. He was strict to follow the schedule then. 

This temporary schedule was to reverse after Spring Break. I believe the case manager left the verbiage for that time period open so that we could work out an amicable agreement about that time that didn't happen because D decided he was gonna keep them the entire week. 

I then took over the following Monday and everything went okay he took them every other Friday and Saturday until school on Monday. As of last week though, he has decided that he gets them until school's out every Monday. I discovered that as soon as his tax money came in he turned around and paid his attorney to file a motion to modify child support which we go to court for in about two weeks. 

I believe D is slowly loosing his grip on reality. His grandfather is a diagnosed schizophrenic, his mother was institutionalized after her husband divorced her and has been diagnosed with PTSD because of severe abuse in her childhood and now D ... aha, D, he has sent me an email with the agreed order where he has underlined certain parts of a sentence saying that he gets them after school on Monday. Any idiot with a brain can keep reading and see that's talking about the schedule pre-Spring Break. 

That's not the only thing though... he told the daycare lady, in front of my children, that he's depressed because the boys aren't with him during the week and he's going to do whatever it takes to get them back. Last week after picking up the boys from him he opened my back driver side door when I was backing up and it scraped the car he was driving -actually dented it- and told the officer he wanted to press criminal charges against me for trying to hit him with my car but the only thing my car touched was... the other car. Thank God this happened IN the police station parking lot so they reviewed the video and said they didn't see anything to indicate I was trying to run him over.... 

We're also supposed to keep in touch with our case manager during this 'trial period' because she'll be reviewing how the boy's did with him and then how they did with me. Apparently, he is blowing up her phone leaving message after message 'tattling' on me ... this has gotten way out of hand. 

I thought we were growing forward and going to be able to co-parent successfully but as soon as the boys came home it seems like D is ... cracking up mentally speaking... 

I've been advised not to do anything to commit him because I will be financially obligated for his care, I've been praying that this will all come to and end swiftly because he's not just a nuisance to me any more but I'm really concerned for my boys and what D may do if things don't go his way when we go back to case management for a permanent schedule. 

The other thing... the police department won't get involved and the school's won't stop him if he insists on taking them... 
Now, I understand how kids can get kidnapped so easily during situations like this.
deleted deleted
2 Responses May 7, 2012

Always In My Prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow :/<br />
I'm so sorry that you and your boys are in this situation. When you're relying on someone you need to act as a human being and it starts becoming apparent that you can't, no matter how civil and reasonable and understanding you are, it's a horrible feeling.<br />
<br />
I hope the permanent arrangements settle things down so that you can all get some kind of normal back in your daily lives *big hug*.