Feeling a Little Scared

I work the overnight at group home so that leaves lots of time to think and to get myself worked up. I have posted my brief story of the custody battle I am going through. For those who haven't read it yet my son's dad has filed the paperwork to amend our origional custody agreement to where he gets full custody. I have in return filed the same paperwork. My exes wife is the thorn in my side. She has tried to take over the mom position going as far as to write on football paperwork that she is my son's mother, and on his school paperwork put "non-custodial do not call" directly under my name. As it stands right now I have equal shared physical and legal custody of my son with his dad.

Tonight I have felt scared about the future of this fight for my son. I am not worried I will loose, I am worried about how I am going to handle the stress of all of this. I constantaly recieve nasty looks and glares from my exes wife at football practices and when I pick up or drop off my son. I have decided to allow my exes family to be a part of my children's life and mine. We were not close after the break up with my ex, curdesy of my exes wife and her lies. All of them are fighting and have been since May. I recieved an email from his sister telling me of a plan to take my licence plate, cooked up but none other than the wife. from there his sister and I reconnected and made amends. I straightened out lies and accepted apologies from my exes family for the way they treated me and believeing the lies. I am close to my exes family and they have said they will help me out as much as they can through out this process. I keep thinking of what lies with they (my ex and his wife) cook up from now to the court date. I know it will be easy to prove the lies because of the lack of evidence. It is not beyond them to do these things. Two years ago I had a seizure while holding a bowl of hot oatmeal, I recieved 3rd degree burns on my legs and had to be hospitalized for a week. from that they said I had recieved the burn from making meth. That's what his sister tells me. I haven't touched meth since I left my ex 3 years ago, and I have no idea where to begin at making it. That lie was easy to prove as such but what else can they come up with? Why do they have to be so childish about this? Why do they have to make this so hard? I also have a daughter who is involved in this. I was talked into allowing her to visit for the weekend when my son went over there. Her father is not in her life and never has been. I have tried to keep her home on the weekends but hav ehad the county sheriff call me and tell me that if I don't send her I could be arrested for kidnapping my own daughter. Since she is in the paperwork she has to go. I worry about her mental health when all of this unfolds and she is not allowed to go over there anymore. Will counseling be enough for her? Will my love be enough for her? Having my son full time might help but he would be going to his dad's everyother weekend and my daughter would go visit other family on those weekends, but will it hurt her to take her away from someone she has called dad for the last 7 years. The person I was with for 5 years isn't the same as he was back then. He parties when my children are over there, is not the caring dad he used to be, and lets his wife run every aspect of his life. UGH!! So many questions, worries, and emotions!! One of the comments posted on my first story was to get counseling, I am in the process of finding one that I can afford. I am sure that is what I need. I am anxious to get this over with so I can move on and not have it consume every thought in my head. I needed to do this this morning.