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Life's Curve Road

Hello, Everyone.

I am kiarablue, I am writing this from oversea ( Asia), originally from states. 

My recent losses includes, Father ( died from cancer, brain tumor), Career ( from a traumatic injury), Vehicle ( My all time favorite European convertible all paid off car), My Old romantic relationship of 4 yrs from Ex boyfriend, My Old nest ( Beautiful rental property by coast), Old body ( Weight gaining over 30lbs) plus, My old self. who I was all along from my 20's until 35 by recovering from traumatic internal nerve/blood vein Injury for over 3 & 1/2 yrs.

Tell me something. 
I have joined Group therapy to spiritual fellowships, Individual therapy sessions as well as spent lots of money on Trauma therapy.

I came to oversea, where My parents are from also, where I was born, it feels like being in the foreign country with dramatic change of environment for good also, perhaps different. During this time, I contacted people whom were like my spiritual sponsors back at home & asking for their guides./ I got a reply email from one man who said, I need to be able to come up with an idea regarding " My Desired Ideal Life" /VISION for myself.

I really liked his answer & I was excited until I realized, as a person experienced such catastrophic damages and loses for a long period of time, also                   knowing and understanding Life's got its own life's term. How could I possibly try to rebuild anything on top of what I had gone through in my recent 3yrs of constant losses and trauma. 

Healing has been taking real slow, but It does happen with time. 
The one of most toughest thing to decide is Career choice since I am still dealing with bit of partial disability also, not wanting to live the same way as past mentally, physically also emotionally.  even though I can see how much I am progressing in terms of physical strength and very hopeful, I do not feel like My Current identity of who I am matches to My Old Career which was really stressful and pressure driven.

if I would ever have to return to school, it would take at least 2 yrs minimum before I return to somewhat similar old career field, otherwise I would need a serious transition decisions over my life such as committing for over 4 to 5 yrs of brand new education for a new career ( such as Being a M.D medical doctor_ ) because I could not think of anything else other than Where I have been in past 3 yrs in my life along with Major transition & trauma.

Help me out. I am open to your feed back. God bless.

NAMASTE,
kiarablue kiarablue 36-40 Oct 16, 2011

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