In a Lot of Trouble An Need Luck Or Miracle

Well in March of 2008 I got laid off from my dream job that I was working at 4 yrs! That had already taken a toll on me, as the economy was hitting a slump, I tried everything sending resumes out, searching all new jobs posted, at around the exact same time (and i don't why) but started out on a new relationship that started in Jan 08, that was extremely beautiful but a huge huge roller coaster ride throughout the year, all the while I was going under the stress of not working, almost as if this guy felt secure when I didn't, I felt it many times, like no understanding, just small Little advise, like he cared but at the same time made me fell like "well it's your problem", anyway believe it or not I am still seeing him, cuz when I do back off he comes around and gives me all the understanding very confusing, his family loves me I love them, I do love him, but am scared, anyway it gets worse! My mother ended up having mild stroke late December and that has taken a another huge toll! She is an extremely strong women who has never been sick a day in her life, she is ok, nothing too major, but numbing in her upper lip and fingertips are still there, she is on medication, and at home, so watching her daily struggle with the emotional side of things is grueling!!!! I ended up finding work in Nov, they laid me off again!, I then found something for the last two weeks, and I got laid off again this past Friday!!! I at this point have no income!

As well it happened this past Friday and I did not say anything to my BF, cuz we celebrated Valentine's night that night and A) I didn't want to spoil the the evening with my insecurities of not working again now B) afraid that he will go right back to being cocky at a time that I am the most vulnerable, I will tell him today, but am scared. He has done this to me before, he did spoil me n Friday and I didn't him cuz he drilled me for the $$$ I spent at Christmas, and was not appreciated of the one out of two gift I got him, he went on and on on..so I thought it was best not to get him anything, he had let me down big time during this mth and he knew so I felt he probable felt that he better do something to make me happy, he is fully aware of what he had put me through and apologized, I am not sure if it is genuine right now as I am too stressed out and not secure in this 100%

Everyone I know scratches there heads, tell me that  I am so sweet, sexy, a great person to be around why is that I end up with these %$% guys that love to push your buttons, I can be a typical hot headed Italian, but I have seen relationships where one person accepts the other, and is proactive rather then reactive, he's Italian too, anyway

I am terrified because it will not be that easy right now finding work with our grueling economy!!!

Everything that can be going wrong has been still is,and feels as though I am badly stuck I need a miracle right now!!!

I do have some help, but hate having to rely on others, please wish me all the luck.

 

Soladadr Soladadr
31-35, F
3 Responses Feb 16, 2009

My name is Malina, from United Kingdom. I wish to
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me he can’t continue anymore then I was now
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Good luck to you! Your monther's story sounds sad and I pray that your mother learns to live life to the fullest again. I know how it is to deal with people that are making comments to you about how you spend your money. Just make sure that you don't let him get you down. Remember the good points about your relationship. Maybe you just like the way he smiles. Whatever the reason, it is probably a good reason.

It sounds like your relationship with your guy is of the co-dependent type (which usually isn't very healthy by the way). You didn't ask for advice, so I won't offer any, but I do wish you much luck!