Dissociation (weird, Huh?)With the divorce agreement signed, I am fixing the martial home for sale and looking to find a place to land. Now, one would think that I should be relieved and on an upswing… elation and jubilance abounding. But somewhere in the last months , I don’t know when, my cognitive state became detached from the emotion that my body feels. My skin is having a near allergic stress reaction, I will sleep fitfully for 12 hours and wake up exhausted and where normally I would be vexed with self doubt and questioning in a personal conflict, I am now quick with an “FU and have a nice day”. My body makes me pay, the same as always, but my brain does not care anymore. I sleep, don’t read, don’t watch tv, don’t go out much. A chronic long term planner, I now just react to whatever situation that is in front of me. I have become accustomed to disappointment and watching saving flow out the door to lawyers, my drunken ex-wife and their cronies. Had to write a $45,000 check out to the ex… didn’t even bl
Don’t know what’s happed to me. Don’t have a clue. Not sure I care either, just sort of reporting this like it’s some clinical observations done on someone other than me.