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My Story and Book Information

DISCLAIMER  If you are a survivor of abuse please be aware the content of this page may trigger you to recall a memory from your past that you have not dealt with.

 You have probably come here because I invited you.  I want to tell you about myself, and what I am doing and to ask for your help.  I am seeking others who have survived any type of abuse to help me in my quest.   You will find the details following my story and a list of types of abuse I am talking about.   

Please keep in mind that I am NOT a professional person with an educational degree but rather a motivated woman with a dream.  I am interested in corresponding with individuals who can respect my efforts without criticism, and who can share the same desire as I share - - - a desire to make a difference.


 

My stepfather was the main instigator of my abuse. He was a cruel, unfeeling man who did not mince words and who often punished me inappropriately. One of the many and most familiar phrases I often heard was, "You’re an ungrateful bastard, and you don’t deserve my good name."

 

My mom became a victim of her own circumstances. She endured the same type of treatment I did.  While she did witness what transpired between my stepfather and me, she became a silent, helpless bystander, because she knew her interference would have merely made her life more difficult than it already was.  

 

I ran away for the first time at age 11 and then after I made other attempts which always resulted in the police delivering me back into the hands of my stepfather. At the age 13, a school health nurse intervened when he made a grab for me in her presence. I was placed in foster care.  From there, I ended up in a series of foster homes, a mental institution due to attempting suicide, and finally I was sent to reform school.

 

At 18, I met a man who imprinted my life with domestic violence right from the get-go.  

Although I had always known I was abused as a child, I did not recognize the severity.  I followed the footsteps of those survivors who deny, minimize and who convince themselves that it wasn’t that bad.  Actually, I was doing well until I was in my early twenties, when someone sat beside me, describing her abusive childhood. I sat listening, feeling rather emotionless, a bit confused about why she was so distraught, speechlessly searching for a way to console her. At the end of our conversation, I recall apologizing, fearing that my reaction may have upset her. She thanked me for listening and assured me that I had not done so.

Later, after we parted company, I had an abrupt revelation, “Hey, her story sounds like mine.”  Suddenly a wave of recognition swept through me, making me shake uncontrollably. I had no understanding about what was going on with me. All I knew was the aftermath of our conversation, left my thoughts scrambled, with a steady flow of uninvited emotions.  In the next few months, I found myself crying a lot, having nightmares, my depression had worsened, and when the thought of suicide entered my mind, I asked my family doctor for some meds to help me.  Instead of prescribing medication, he referred me to Mental Health.   

 

For the longest time, due to my discomfort from the conversation between this girl and me, I practiced avoidance with her. As awful as this sounds, I was relieved when I learned she had moved. 

 

 

Fast forward..... 

 

 

 

 

 

In 1995, my ten year old daughter disclosed for a second time that she had been sexually abused. We lived in a small town with no resources for parents in my position. There were major problems after Melissa revealed her abuse. The circumstances were anything but pleasant, in fact the entire situation and the unfolding details were a bit much to handle because I had no friends or family offering me support. Thank God I was attending counseling at that time.  If it had not been for my counselor, Pat O’Sullivan and Melissa’s psychologist, I do not know how we would have weathered that life altering storm.

 

After many discussions with Pat, I placed an ad on a community TV channel and in a newspaper, soliciting to speak with others whose lives had been affected by sexual abuse. In the next few weeks, I received numerous calls from others who were interested in getting together. This led me to host a get-together at a local church that drew a crowd of 45 people. After this gathering, another meeting was set for the following week. Initially, this group was formed with great intentions.  We supported a few parents during their court processes, produced a small booklet, and we had successfully distributed an abundance of information throughout the community. News article.

 

Regrettably, before long, the group spiraled downhill, and within the first year, it dwindled down to a handful of incompatible, unhealthy individuals who were not working productively as a collective. Our biggest obstacle was not having a trained facilitator to launch these evenings. Both survivors and non-offending parents were involved, and though we were warned by professionals that we needed to separate into two groups because the aftermath from both types of abuse needed to be dealt with separately, we foolishly ignored their advice, and we continued down the path of ruin.  You could say we were a crew of concerned citizens without direction. I compare that situation to that of "too many cooks in the kitchen." All too often ideas were greeted with no enthusiasm and discouragement. One such incident involving me occurred when I approached the members with the prospect of creating a newspaper column. My request was addressed with opposition, and I was told my idea was unrealistic. Being a strong-willed and opinionated person, I begged to differ. I was confident this was the perfect break to educate the public. So I went ahead without the backing of the group members to meet with the editors of two newspapers. The first editor said no, and the second said, “Although I’m intrigued, I need to discuss the proposal with my boss.”

 

 

 

 

Despite my clutching to the hope that the dynamics of the group would improve, after the disagreement regarding the newspaper column my gut told me things were not going to change. And so after 52 meetings, into which I poured my heart and soul, full of devastation and to keep my sanity, I did the only thing I felt I could do; I resigned.  On the day that I walked away from the group, the editor notified me with an acceptance to do the column. I was elated! I produced 100 articles to submit to the editor. Some authored by me, others reprinted with the permission of organizations across Canada and the United States. Newspaper article.

 

Six months later, I was still determined to educate the public and I approached a few members who had also left the previous group, hoping they would be willing to start another group. They declined due to the negative activities that occurred the first time around; nevertheless, I soon met two other survivors. We met primarily to provide support to each other, but, a few months later, we began brainstorming about ways to raise awareness. In the midst of our talks, I casually mentioned my idea of writing a book.  Thought it was a good idea and I eventually applied for a grant to help with start-up expenses to produce a booklet. One of the stipulations to qualify for the funding was to obtain five letters from community professionals who supported my idea. Mainly as a result of my previous efforts to raise awareness, I had no problem gaining letters crediting my dedication and my character. “Letters of Support” here.

 

 

 

ELATED TO DISMAYED

 

In May 1994, I submitted a proposal, believing my chances of getting funding

were slim to none.  In my heart, I knew one way or another that I would develop and distribute a book within the community. I had begun constructing my book from the perspective of a non-offending parent, and I had permission to reprint information from organizations.  I figured even if I did not gain funding, I would ask local groups to assist me financially.  In August, I received the call of congratulations to receive funding.  I was in seventh heaven.  Notification letter.

 

Since I basically knew the book content, all I had to do was hire someone to do the typing.  During my involvement with the first group, I became acquainted with a lady whom I occasionally met for coffee. I did not know her well, but she seemed like a decent person, and when I told her about receiving the grant, she offered to do the typing, assuring me she’s having the first draft ready for my viewing in a  few months.  In early January I touched base with her.  She told me that she had over half of it typed, but she had the flu and would get back at it and have it finished in a month or so.  

 

In January of the next year, myself, the two ladies I had teamed up, and another lady began planning awareness events.  Our first was an evening affair with a panel of speakers from the legal system to discuss the legal aspects of sexual abuse. Our second was a Fair day at the mall. We believed my book would be printed in time to promote it on that day. 

 

Before our actual work began, I met with the coordinator of a sex-offender group to design a proclamation. The proclamation.

 

Next we met with the five mayors in the surrounding towns to have it signed, to officially declare our Awareness Day.  Newspaper article.

 

 

 

 

 

For six weeks, Monday to Friday, the four of us enthusiastically  organized, promoted our day by posting flyers, lined up entertainment, photocopied  written material to hand out, and contacted all business owners in the phone book to obtain donations. We received hundreds of contributions of money, food, beverages, candy, clothing, and gift certificates for haircuts, meals, and sports equipment.

 

Four weeks prior to our event, I tried without luck, to contact the  lady typing my book to make arrangements to review the work she had done. After several failed attempts to reach her by phone, I paid her a visit.  After an exchange of hellos, she quietly said, "Something happened to my computer, and the typing is a monstrous mess."

 

Instantly, my face flushed.  Her eyes quickly widened, and darted from my eyes to her common-law husband’s. Then to my utmost horror and to worsen matters, she announced, "I don’t know how to tell you this, but um...my daughter...um, accidentally disposed of your information."

 

My response was, "WHAT!  Can you please repeat what you just said?  I think my ears are playing a trick on me?"

 

I was mortified, stunned with disbelief, and struck with the feeling of someone pulling the rug from beneath my feet. Without hesitation or another word, she handed me my disk, and in a horrified daze I made a dash out the door, speechlessly trying to digest her words.  In denial, I went to not one, not two, not three, but four stores  to have my disk checked, praying I might be able to retrieve some of the data. At the last store, I was informed that a deliberate puncture was made in the plastic screen on the disk.  All I could do for several seconds was blankly stare at the clerk. When I finally regained my composure, after a mini-nervous breakdown, disbelieving my luck, I went home thinking "Now what?"  What I felt went beyond shattered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few days later, I spoke with a police officer who asked for an update on my book. When I told him my story of woe, he grew quiet and with a somber expression plastered on his face he asked, “Are you aware that the person you hired lives common law with a child molester?" What a nasty adrenaline rush! If the person delivering this news had been anyone else, I may have questioned it, but sadly, I knew it was the truth.

 

Although my book was not ready, I knew I had to put on a happy face and go into denial, because with or without me or my book, the events for the “Sexual Abuse Awareness Day” were scheduled to happen.

 

 What a glorious, nine-hour event at a local mall.  We had games, free food, coloring contests, draws, guessing games, balloons, and face painting. We had an abundance of written material to hand out. Entertainment was provided by line dancers. The police did children’s finger printing and representatives from Family Services and the Prosecutor’s Office were on hand to help with the activities and answered questions. Our hard work paid off, making it an extraordinary and a successfully productive day. I felt proud to have had a role in coordinating such an awesome event. That day will live on forever in my mind as one of the most outstanding experiences in my life. Newspaper photo.

 

Once the day was over, my focus was back to the drawing board to finish my book. Tears become my closest companion because I basically had to reconstruct my book from scratch. A few weeks later I hired another lady who came with references to type my book.   Although I cannot recall why, a few weeks later this lady left town.  When she phoned me a few months later to inform me that she would not be returning and she would mail me my information. Once again, I was on the hunt for someone to help me.

 

In the next few weeks, my ex-husband and a few members of his family dished out criticism and blunt speculations about my intelligence, “Who in their right mind would think they could write a book when they only have a grade five education?”  To reinforce what they were saying, were echoes of my stepfather's remarks, “You’re too stupid to do anything right.”  My self-esteem was already at an all-time low and this incident, reeled me into a self-pity binge that amplified my insecurities.  By then I had stepped past disheartened and I began to contemplate giving up on my book idea.

 

At that time, my ex-husband and I had been separated for a number of years; however that did not stop him from sailing in and out of my house whenever he desired. I am saving the details for my book; but I will say there were numerous incidents where he made my life feel like hell on earth. The final incident occurred one night after I returned from an evening out.  I did not sense any danger, as I approached my house and saw that was in complete darkness. I merely assumed the sitter had fallen asleep.  I waved good-bye to my friends, opened the door, and my ex briskly leaped toward me, throwing and pinning me on the couch, pushing a butcher’s knife against my throat, calling me names, and threatening to kill me. My children saved my life. My oldest daughter called the police. My youngest, was hitting her father, and my son grabbed the knife to hide it. When the police arrived, my children and I were escorted to a battered women’s shelter, where we remained for a month.

 

 

 

 

 

   STARTING OVER

 

In the 1990’s, domestic violence was not openly discussed. Most people just closed their ears and eyes. I did what many domestic abuse survivors do; I grinned and bore it. As odd as this may appear, until my stay at the shelter, I did not recognize that I was a battered woman.  It was then I realized I would need to leave that town if I wanted to escape my ex-husband’s control. So not long after we returned home, I walked out, leaving everything but clothing behind and fled to a town some 1800 miles away, where I knew no one.  All I will say for now is there was an overwhelming turn of events within the details surrounding my leaving.  

 

 

 

After relocating, I basically cut ties with everyone I knew. I became somewhat of a recluse, only stepping out for groceries, school functions, and appointments. You would think that the distance between my ex and would have eliminated my fear of him catching up with me, but that was not the case.  Whenever I was in public, I found myself looking over my shoulder, feeling fearful that he may find me.  

 

 

 

About a year and a half after my move, I managed to pick up a cheap computer, with the intent to finish my book.  This was a frustrating, time consuming and an overwhelming job that caused grief beyond belief because, I was an inexperienced, two-finger typist, who pecked at the keyboard as slow as a chicken does when they eat.

 

A few months later, I discovered the Internet. I was like an excited child in a candy store, in total awe. I have always suffered with social anxiety which interfered with making friends.  When I learned that I could internet with others on the Internet, I was doing the dance of joy.  No one would witness me fumbling for words or see my face turn different shades of red.  I registered on a message board and I began communicating with other abuse survivors.  When I mentioned what I was trying to do, some of them offered me their writing to include in my book.  This empowered me and made me even more determined to finish my book.  I diligently typed and I was near the halfway mark of being finished in nine months.  Somewhere in between I began journaling about my upbringing and my marriage.  At first revisiting my past seemed to be a good thing to do, but it soon became obvious that journaling was opening up a lot of portholes to memories that I was clearly unaware of which I was certainly unprepared to deal with.

 

In mid 2000 I found myself knotted in a mass of confusion and emotionally overloaded. Between trying to deal with the flashbacks from my childhood along with the aftermath of domestic violence, being a single mom, trying to finish my book, loneliness, and other nameless problems, I was overwhelmed.   Although I wanted my book to be a priority, I was unable to concentrate and focus; therefore counseling became the priority I had to settle for and I signed up to see someone at the Mental Health Clinic. 

 

I was relying on Social Services for my living expenses and six months later, they requested that I attend a program at a local collage to help prepare those who have been unemployed for some time, to ease them back into the work force. The thought of being in a classroom setting, wove me into hysteria. When I told my counselor, I thought she might suggest that I was an unsuitable candidate, but instead she said, “Maybe this is just what you need. It’ll help you get back into the swing of life.”  Clearly, I was not impressed. 

 

Petrified does not begin to justify how I felt as I walked through the door of the classroom. Although there were only 10 women present, it wheeled me into a frenzy. I felt so out of place. Sometime before noon, I used my famous, “I have to use the bathroom” excuse, and I tearfully, hurried home.  There was a message waiting from the instructor, requesting I call her. After my explanation of why I left, she tried but failed to charm me into returning the next day.  I was adamant about not stepping back into that classroom. An hour later, I received a second call from the instructor, to tell me another lady was feeling similar anxieties as me wanted me to phone her.

 

I took her number and after a long debate, I threw caution to the wind, and dialed her number. Oddly enough, this lady, Patsy and I shared an immediate connection. After a lengthy conversation, we agreed to retry the class the next day.  

 

We fought through it, but certainly not without apprehension. For the most Patsy’s struggles were lost in the shuffle of mine.  For the first month, without fail, my routine was wakening around 4:00 a.m. and until Patsy arrived, I had a childish self-argument, “I’m not going! Yes, you are! No, I’m not. Yes, you are!" Once Patsy picked me up, until we reached the parking lot, she patiently encouraged me, "We can do this. It'll be okay.”   And then as we approached the classroom, I had a five to ten minute assessment about entering the classroom. "This is a mistake. I'm going home. I can’t do this!” was the common theme. Not a pleasurable way to start the day.  Sometimes I wondered why she continued to be there for me, but as I said, we had a lot in common, and through all the difficulties, we also had a lot of fun. At that point I periodically had flashbacks, but I was doing okay.

           

 

In 2001, Patsy and I took a law class.  I had managed to have the first draft of my book complete.  I also began going to Christian Counselling.  By now my flashbacks are becoming pretty severe and not making sense. I struggled to believe, let alone comprehend how I could have blocked out. 

 

 

I learned that many abuse survivors do this because their mind is not equipped to deal with their trauma.  It was then that I found myself at somewhat of a standstill, often scrambling to live in the here and now, encircled me in a place that seemed to exclude an opening to get beyond my memories.

 

During these visits, I began to uncover memories that I was not even aware I had. I was struggling terribly to cope with flashbacks that made each day feel like a nightmare. Although it was an emotionally crippling and draining experience, for the first time in my life, I was making progress in my healing and working past some issues, and my life began to turn around. I began writing my memories in a daily journal, and in fact, it played a very vital role in helping me. Through Christian counseling I have gained personal and spiritual growth. It has allowed me to learn how to step past what I mistook for shyness. I have always been a very quiet person. I was under the impression that I was merely shy, but now I know my so-called shyness is in reality deep-rooted shame. By then I had the internet. I became fascinated with what the internet offered, and before long, I found myself committed to developing my book. Somewhere along the way, I switched directions with my book. Instead of just writing it from the perspective of a parent of a sexually abused child, I began writing about my history and the aftermath of all I have encountered. Pushing past my hardships, balancing my healing, being a parent.  

 

I would not have pulled it off. There were times I found myself contemplating throwing in the towel on my book. At times I have neared having my book prepared for the printer, and then a crisis involving my children, a problem with my computer, or something else delayed publishing. I cannot begin to clarify how difficult those times have been on me. Believe me, there have been many intervals of discouragement where I have shouted, "Forget it!" But thankfully my children, my friend Patsy, and my boyfriend have helped me not to lose sight of my dream to finish a book. They encouraged me and helped me to maintain focus as well as bypass my "forget it" periods. I guess determination and also had a hand in helping me to push beyond the roadblocks.

 

Creating my book has taught me many, many lessons. The most significant lesson I have learned is that sometimes when we encounter discouraging and devastating experiences that cause us to wonder why life is being so unkind, there are blessings; blessings, that I might add, might enrich our lives beyond expectation. Or at least that is what I believe. Although not at the time during the periods when I greeted the pressing trials and prickly tribulations in my life, I can now look at those times as blessings that gave me some wonderful opportunities. My biggest blessing that I was rewarded with is that I am able to reach out to others who are connected to abuse and to gather their experiences. This will make my book that much more effective because there is power in numbers. If I had produced my book before now, I would have missed out on offering others a vehicle to participate in public awareness. For some of these individuals who are making written contributions, they might not have been able to otherwise. I can tell you that this excites me and makes me more happy than I can even explain. I feel privileged to be able to do such an honorable task. I am being totally up front, without secrets, without motives, and without a private agenda. I am providing confirmation with letters of support from professionals who work in the field of abuse to show that I am creditable, sincere, and true to my cause. I am a person who does not give up easily. My desire is to make a difference without malice nor immoral intentions. In my experience, writing has been the key role in my survival, and the majority of those who counsel abuse victims and survivors will also validate that writing is one of the most powerful ingredients that one can use during one’s healing voyage.


 

ENTRIES:  If you are somehow connected directly or indirectly to the any type of human misuse I would like to hear from you.  If you answer yes to any of the following question I really hope you will consider sharing something in my book to generate awareness and to offer others encouragement.

 

    Have you ever bullied?

    Did you endure neglect, psychical, emotional or a sexual abuse as a child by your mom, dad, a sibling, a cousin, aunt, uncle or a grandparent, step-parent, a neighbor, a babysitter, family friend,  someone of the same sex, a friend, a pastor, a priest, or someone with-in a religious setting ?

    Have you endured or witnessed domestic violence which includes psychical, emotional or a sexual abuse?

    Been raped by an acquaintance, a co-worker, an employer, someone who is an authority figure?

    Are you an elderly person or a parent who is being abused by your child?

    Are you a transgender, a gay man, or a lesbian who has experienced bullying, ridicule, or have been abused as a result of who you are ?

    Have you been forced to witness an animal being sexually abused or had to endure abuse perpetrated by an animal?

    Have you ever experienced ritual abuse, slavery, being in a sex ring, trafficking, prostitution,    ***********, stalking, or been gang rape?

    Are you a parent or a family member of  a child who has been sexually abused, gone missing through  kidnapping, abduction, or has been murdered, or who ran away ?  Or are you being alienated from your child because your spouse relocated or Family Services have taken your child?

    Were you abused while you confined in an institution such as a jail, reform school, or a psychiatric hospital?

    Are you a child, a relative, or a spouse or friends with someone who is or who has been accused of being a sex offender?

    Are you a person who has an eating disorder,  practiced self-harm, tried to commit suicide, or do you have MPD?

 

Keep in mind,  the focus of my book is survival.  My interest is with what has helped you cope and survive and the impact it has on your life.   You may wish to recommend books and organizations that were helpful to you.

 

 YOUR NAME:  If you are a survivor, or a non-offending parent, you have a choice about how you wish to be recognized as an author. You may use your first name, or you can be anonymous. If you are an abuse survivor.  Please understand my position.  As deserving as it may be to publish the names of abusers, unless abusers have been legally prosecuted, I am legally bound to withhold their names which coincides with why I must refrain from using the last names of the courageous survivors who have taken part in my project.  There cannot be a connection to any abusers.

 

 

In general people are adding, but are not limited, to include some of the following information in the body of their writing. 

Here is a list of possible things you may wish to add in your writing.  It may or may or may not be beneficial to you.

 

   Age the abuse started?  Type of abuse?

    Who perpetrated the abuse?

    Do you have siblings?  Were they also abused?

    Do you believe anyone knew the abuse was happening at the time of occurrence?

    Have you told your parents or other family members? If so what was the reaction?  Were you believed or disbelieved?

    Have you ever approached the person or the people who have abused you?  If so,  what type of reaction did you receive?

    How has the abuse affected your life?

    How have you coped with the aftermath of your abuse?

    Have you or are you attending counseling?  Self-help?  Support groups?  Is this or was it helpful?  Have you read any book that were helpful to you?

    Have you  been involved with any type of legal issues regarding the abuse?  Outcome?  Length of time?

    Why are you are adding your story?

    Do you have a specific message you wish to send others.

 

 

 

A BIO:    You may write whatever you wish but please include the following information:  age, sex, occupation, marital  status, and your general location.

 

 


MY BOOKS

"Shadows of Silence: Part 1"        

The first book gives readers a front row seat to what transpired in my life.


"Shadows of Silence:  Part 2"

This is an anthology e-book with entries from men and women who were, through no fault of their own, suffered some type of misuse.  This book will feature 850 pages of text.  These entries come from the courageous individuals who were victimized by someone who betrayed their trust.  There will be entries from most age brackets, from many walks of life, and from many parts of the world.

I am feeling something that I have rarely had the pleasure of experiencing in my life.  I feel proud of myself for coming up with an idea that is allowing so many people to come together under the umbrella of one book with personal experiences of most types of abuse.  I believe there is not a person on this earth who will disagree with me when I say,  there are some things in life that cannot be purchased for any amount of cash and there are some things in life that are far more valuable than any amount of wealth.   I am referring to hope, understanding, and encouragement.  And in my opinion, my books will provide these things to those who submit their writings and those who care enough to read.

Although I have gathered the entries that will appear in the middle of the front and last pages of this book. . Each and every person who adds their writing can then say that they are a published author. 

As a sign of my appreciation for being a part of my e-book, you will receive a copy of the e-book "Shadows of Silence: Book 2" naturally free of charge.  As well you may purchase one copy of my first book at a 75% discount. Once I am published I am presenting something unique.  Most authors sell their book alone with nothing extra.  I am giving my e-book to those who purchase my book which will contain over 850 pages of text.

There is no selling price for this e-book.  It is being developed for three reasons
1.      Educate those who have not been subjected to these appalling issues
2.      Generate awareness about who is offering prevention, education, and support
3.      Offer support and encourage to fellow abuse survivors and non-offending parents of sexually abused children

Considering that most authors sell their book alone with nothing extra.  I am selling "Shadows of Silence : Book One and those who buy my book will receive the e-Book as a bonus.  Additionally, 15 percent of the profits from Book one will be donated to three organizations.   The first is an outreach program for the homeless population.  The second is an organization who help sexually abused children through the legal process.  And the third is a Child's Helpline.


A FINIAL THOUGHT:    I have had a few debates with people about the Internet providing all the resources one will ever need.  And my response to this remark is this; while the internet is a gigantic information highway, unfortunately, poverty provides a cruel reality that will forever remain a problem.   There are rural areas housing people who cannot afford the luxury of owning a computer.   If one has no computer, then how on earth can he or she gain an entrance to the Internet?    Adding further to this, some people managing in poverty cannot even afford to purchase a book.  Thankfully even in third world countries, there are libraries and  as a result of  the generous individuals who have some spare cash, books can be purchased to put on library shelves for others to make use of. Once I am published I will work to get both books in libraries.  I will be using some of the sales from Book One  and I will also seek help from others to get the e-book made into a hard copy to be shelved in libraries to be accessed free of charge to the public at large.


WHILE WE WILL NEVER TOTALLY ELIMINATE ABUSE FROM OUR SOCIETY, WE CAN LESSEN THE VICTIM POPULATION BY PRACTICING BY ONE SIMPLE EQUATION. EDUCATION + AWARENESS  = PREVENTION



 

What follows are some people who have endorsed me, which can be found at the following link - - -  http://www.linkedin.com/profile/edit?trk=hb_tab_pro_top

 
“Sherry Clyburn is a very inspiring woman dedicated to raising the public's awareness about the horrific evils of child abuse. As founder of The Peter Love Save Our Children FD and the first ever official Save Our Children Day for a city in the U.S., I highly endorse Sherry for her goals and objectives, via her books and other resources, to stopping child abuse.  Sincerely,  Peter Love”      Received:  February 23, 2011   From:  Peter Love, Owner, 1. Love Song Enterprises 2. The Peter Love Save Our Children Foundation

 “I've never had the privilege to meet Sherry, but have visited the sites Sherry is featured on, including Linked-in. I've read her work and it is compelling, heart breaking and encouraging. The shocking, anger provoking ordeals Sherry has experienced are scenes straight from the depths of hell.
 I must highly recommend Sherry because she has shown strength, in her convictions, excellent writing skills and the world absolutely cries out for the work she provides, through her mission.” 
Received: February 25, 2011   From:  Dustin Alexander-Pérez, News Reporter, Milwaukee Examiner.com
 
“Sherry Clyburn is an articulate, passionate, and intelligent author whose personal journey and professional writings inspire, support, and educate both survivors and victim service providers. Sherry has a great talent for putting into words true stories that academically challenge, emotionally connect, and most importantly, realistically guide readers to a place of hope and healing.”   Received: February 25, 2011   From: David Voth, Executive Director, Crime Victim Services

 “She is a dedicated and well-qualified lady.”    Received: February 23, 2011   From: Bishop Heyward Ewart, Ph.D., D.D., President, St. James the Elder Theological Seminary

 “I have just recently came to know Sherry. She is an awesome lady. In getting to know Sherry, she has so much to offer. She is dedicated in everything she does. She is an inspiration to all of us. She is very professional and knows how to succeed. I would recommend Sherry to anyone. I will be posting her link on my website as she has inspired me very much.  Robin   Away Out 4 All Organization”    Received: February 24, 2011  From:  Robin Smith, Owner Founder, Away Out 4 All Organization

 “Sherry is a woman of courage and integrity, and her efforts at bringing people awareness of the abuses other people suffer in the open or in silence is highly commendable in an age where abuses have perpetuated themselves by the tolerance or lack of resistance towards abusers of our society. Her aims in offering support to fellow abuse survivors is a like a Lighthouse that beacons hope to survivors or such abuse.
           “I highly recommend her work and hope that other people will see the great advantages of being educated and made aware of what is really going on in the lives of the victims, find possible solutions, relief or help for them.”    Received: February 24, 2011  From:  Bernardine Tiongco, Show Production Agent and Organizer, Boracay Terraces Resort
 
“Sherry is the ultimate "woman" author who speaks to our souls.”   Received:  February 24, 2011  From: Lorraine Tipton, Co-Chairperson, American Mothers Political Party
 
 “A person dealing with difficulties in their life, would certainly be inspired by Sherry's biography of Personal Triumph. I am thoroughly impressed with her conviction to help others to be aware of the signs of harassment in their lives respectively. Sherry will certainly be a well sought after Author in the very near future and I'm blessed to have her as a friend. She is in Inspiration and a Mentor to thousands and I want to take this opportunity to Thank You Sherry for being the Positive Change in this World and making a Difference. ~ Jay Simons '11”    Received: February 23, 2011   From:   Jay Simons, Owner, Full Circle Health Products
 
“I have had the good fortune to connect with Sherry and am amazed at the much needed and valued work she has done and her pursuit of a dream to be an instrument in providing resources and support for women and families who have undergone trauma brought on by spousal abuse. She is a courageous, delightful, sincere and committed woman with a goal driven a heart that seeks to be supportive to others. I look forward to a long and involved journey with Sherry as she continues her work.”     Received:  March 28, 2011    From:  Velma Sampson, Owner, SCE Shammah's Creative expressions

 “Sherry is an amazing writer with a focused purpose of raising public awareness about child abuse. She is compassionate to the plight of adult survivors of child abuse as well as a strong voice to call attention to child abuse as it is happening.
     Sherry's big-hearted generosity with her time and talents is making the world a better place to be.”  
Received:   February 23, 2011   From: Kriss Erickson, Owner, Erickson Creations

“Sherry Clyburn is one of the most dedicated professionals through her work as an author and child abuse advocate. Sherry did an exceptional job on her recent book project. Detail oriented professional. Her technical proficiency and intelligence and expertise makes her view solutions instead of problems. I am honored to know Sherry as a friend, colleague and fellow advocate. Highly recommended.”    Received:   February 24, 2011    From: Sandra Potter, CEO & Founder, Dreamcatchers for Abused Children

“Sherry Clyburn did an exceptional job on the recent project. Sherry Clyburn is a very good, independent, honest and passionate manager. Shows all the time a lot of analytical capability and willingness for her both personal & professional development.”     Received:   February 25, 2011   From:  Brenda Peck, Volunteer, Dreamcatchers For Abused Children
 
“Sherry will offer insights into the complex world of life.”   Received:  February 23, 2011     From:  Charles lightwalker, Chairman Health Committee, Unity in the Community 


Please watch the following two important videos.  You will be will be in awe of all this lady says.  I get goose bumps.  What an awesome lady.  I am so honored that she is taking part in my book.  She's as beautiful on the outside as the inside.



 
 


 


Yvonnes' Facebook Link: http://www.facebook.com/yvo...
Her myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/beav...
Email her at: yvonnegoss@ymail.com


AN UPDATE:   I do apologize to all those who have offered their writing.  I believed my book would be done by now, nevertheless life had different plans for me.  For awhile life was handing me problem after problem, crisis after crisis and due to severe flashbacks I had to put my book project on hold to work on my healing process.    Working on my book made me flash worse than ever and at the insistence of my therapist,  I put my book project on hold. However I have finally turned things around and the release date will be in Oct. 2013.   I thank you for your patience and understanding. I assure you it be well worth your wait.   


P.S.  During my time off I did work on creating my own site which will be released within the next two months. I will notify you when it is released. 





I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL.

sherry123456789 sherry123456789 46-50, F 177 Responses May 20, 2010

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Every person's life like a book,it would doesn't the same,but every book we could read and learn more something from it.A writer can write the book flexible and colorful .congratulations!You make more and more people into your life.

I know your book will help many people who went through the same situation. I know your book will be a success.

OK I read the criteria and will copy that over to a document. I could not read most of what you wrote. Reading abuse stories are very difficult for me and I need to be careful what I read. But I will give you some information that may help you. Good luck on the book.

What is the word limit or ideal length of submissions you are looking for in this project? I thought I saw 65 words posted somewhere but that's barely even enough for a decent into...?

that is amazing, brought tears to my eyes, ive been through alil what you have, its amazing how you get a connection with people you dont even know, congratz on making your own book that is very cool!

HI,<br />
A girl in my neighborhood is going to the same as you describe. I made a Pdfand send it her. Thank you.<br />
xWanna

Do you think that you'd be interested in participating in Domestic Violence Awareness month in April, and giving a reading? I don't know where you live, but there's a non-profit in Port Angeles, WA that hosts an event every year and asks authors to share at their fundraiser. Please let me know if you're interested.

At the beginning of your story, when you talk about the girl who you cried with, that reminds me of how many times I've realized for the first time that some of the things that I've gone through aren't "normal" (or shouldn't be). It's funny in retrospect - the first time that I learned that some people's parents don't hit them, I was 9 years old. I couldn't believe it! I kept asking my friend Laura, "Are you sure that your dad won't hit you if you refuse to take out the trash?" It's funny to me now, but at the time, I was stunned and in shock.

Dear sgrace,

"MY Family wasn't NORMAL -- WAS IT?!"

I particularly liked when you said, "...I've realized for the first time that some of the things that I've gone through aren't "normal" (or shouldn't be)."

I'm a guy &amp; I was emotionally, &amp; sexually abused from age 11 &amp;1/2 to age 17, by my alcoholic/drug-addicted mother. Also, my dad physically abused me -- severe &amp; very frequent spanking -- when ever I "upset" my mother. Like when I made the worst mistake and said, "Dad, I think mom has a drinking problem." (Where I ever got the courage to say this, to this day, I don't know). But my mom started bawling like a little child &amp; my dad gave me the worst spanking that left pains &amp; bruises for weeks. Then, he told me,"YOU! are the one who is making you mother sick. YOU! are the one who is making your mother drink. And if you keep it up, YOU'RE going to kill her!"

Thinking my dad was correct that I was doing this to mom, that after all were asleep, I tried to stab myself in the stomach (thinking this would be an "honorable way to die" like the Japanese hara-kiri. I had just seen a movie about this on TV). Well, I couldn't do it. I only nicked and bleed a little. I was sooo angry at myself. I thought, "Man, a can't do anything right. I can't even kill myself. I such a coward."

One thing...all of the above types of abuse I suffered. They never leave any visible scars or bruising (bruising on the butt don't show), that would call attention to teachers that --- something horrible &amp; heinous was occurring to at home.

I never told anybody, 'cause, I too thought that my family life was completely -- "NORMAL?!" I was never allowed to stay over at anybody's house to realize that my family life was anything but "NORMAL." And nobody was allowed to sleep over at my house either.

Despite my mother drinking &amp; drugging (prescription drugs), my mother still managed to stay sober enough for the whole family to go to church. And, although my mother at home was a "vicious monster" (I nicknamed her in the book I'm writing: Monster-Mom), at church she always managed to be all sweet &amp; nice and -- "God Fearing?!" People at church would come up to me and say, "Oh, your mom is sooo nice!"

We were forbidden to tell anybody our "family secret." Dad said, "If you tell anybody what mom is doing, the police will come, and arrest mommy. If you tell anybody, you'll break up the family. "

This was back in the 1960's and I lived in a small town,when &amp; where there were no social services to protect me. Also, back in the '60's teachers weren't trained to recognize the signs &amp; symptoms of child abuse -- like they are today. If this kind of abuse had happened to me (if I were a child/teen) teachers would DEFINITELY seen the symptoms in me.

The changes in me were:
1) My school record showed in that in the first part of the 4th grade I was an A/B honor student w/ perfect attendance. When we moved I finished out the 4th grade in a different town school. When the abuse started, I changed to a C/D/F student w/ frequent absenteeism.

2) First part of 4th grade: I was a happy extroverted child who loved to laugh &amp; wasn't afraid to talk, &amp; had lots of friend.
Second part: I was a shy introverted child who rarely laughed, rarely smiled, was afraid to talk, &amp; had no friends.

3) 1st half: I was a child who loved &amp; good at sports &amp; loved to play with toys.
2nd half: I hated sports &amp; was very clumsy. Didn't like toys.

4) I started to get severely bullied. One particular boy (Initials: WJ) even spit &amp; I think peed on me.

There were other changes, but I think you &amp; other EP readers will get the point.

Thanks for your post sgrace ;-)

Best of luck with the book!!!

I am glad I have read what you wrote. My story is about child molestation with my granddaughter. It was also her step father, my daughters husband and my grandsons' father. He was immediately thrown out of the house as soon as my daugher found this out but the emotional stress, nightmares, and torment this has done to all of them is so much to bear. Now they will go through a trial that my daughter, granddaughter, grandson has to go through. The hardest thing is that it is my grandson's biological father and this so called " Man" did this to his sister and it was his mom's husband. That is such an ordeal to have to handle and they are not handling it to well. It is still fresh maybe over time it will heal but don't know when.

I was doing ok until I seen that image of the woman crying and I couldn't read anymore.<br />
Good luck with the book. I am in it. but you may know me with a different name.

H Wow, this is a lot of in-depth. I'm deeply sorry for what you've had to endure throughout your life, but the fact you've never given up and in fact have become much stronger is a true inspiration, not only personally but for your aspirations to write and published your story. You have my prayers, I wish you all the best :)

sherry you are one remarkable strong lady , i found yr story so moving and felt much sadness for what you have gone thro in yr life , i also felt a little hope that i could change my life to make it a little better and try to find some inner peace, you have inspired and helped so many people and i would like to share some of my story with you , i wish you all the best with yr book and i really think it will be a great sucsess, you have connected and touched so many people's lives and i wish you all the best and all the happiness that you truly deserve ,

i think that first of all i would like to say.. thank you.<br />
thank you for being a voice in a world that seems to have fallen to silnce<br />
thank you for being a beacon of light for the nameless in the dark.. <br />
for having the courage to do what many of us only talk about - to stand up for what you believe in.. and making a change

wow, its a small world and the more I live the more I see this. I have not been sexually abused, though I have been abused phyisically. Plus to add to the mess, I was only a kid and had to see my sisters abused by our grandfather, who was a drunk. I never got to feel the pain thiose girls went through, but my pain was of that being helpless to help them, Ive donw well with the phyisical side but the scars in my mind took many years to get over. I went overboard by trying to be a hero for all those that have been oppressed or abused, but still I never give myself forgiveness or ever felt forgiven. I have been part of groups that help those of abuse, help with law enforcement to target and notify the public of such abusers. all these efforts and the burden it has put every relationship in the gutter... then I had a friend turn me on to a book.. CoDependant no more... so between people like you and this book I have changed up my life, I have done a 180, however I still have a few issues to be adressed. Thank you for shareing and hope the book gets out there!

OMG...I am so glad that you preempted your story with "ie: this may bring back unresolved memories". Your short bio (I'll call it short because you can't fit 50 years into less space)...did exactly that...It brought up the fact that my past has guided every choice I ever made.<br />
<br />
I was married at 19 to a violent man and left after 4 months when he showed his true colors. I have been single ever since and I am 51, although I have had relationships that lasted a few years...they always infiltrated with violence from my partners. I have never been comfortable with my femininity, sex, or feeling the "goddess" within me. I have never had children and was so afraid that I, the abused, would become the abuser...I had 3 abortions and had my tubes tied at age 35.<br />
<br />
Having been an E-5 Hull Technician (Shipfitter/Welder/Firefighter) in the Navy at a young age, working a career with people having developmental disabilities, and graduating College Valedictorian with two Associate Degrees at age 39...I haven't worked in 10 years and derive my income from Social Security Disability.<br />
<br />
I have lived alone now for 15 years, without relationships, battling chronic depression, suicidal thoughts, and three of five suicide attempts (my first two were at the ages of 10 and 12). I have been a patient at mental hospitals and crisis houses. I have tamed my addiction to alcohol only to substitute it with medical marijuana use for anxiety and sleep, and at times, the use of other drugs to get me out of my depression and give me energy enough to do simple chores.<br />
<br />
I have only recently, in the last 3 years, found and maintained my first true, healthy, and trust reciprocated friendship; my best friend and I met...in an outpatient hospital program for dual diagnosis...our pasts share similar abusive characteristics which brought us even closer. <br />
<br />
I have only within the last year started building a relationship with my sister, and am occasionally talking with my mother...without reliving or feeling the past, however my mother still scares me. I now feel that life is worthwhile, and so are friends and family. And I no longer ponder suicide, it is now not an option for me...BUT BOY...HOW THE PAST HAS CREATED MY PRESENT...!!!!

wish you best of luck with your book.

Thank you for sharing this with me!! We've joined your youtube page as well!

I would love to be a contributing author of this book. Great idea! Look for an email fro me in the next couple of days.<br />
<br />
Thanks,<br />
Lisa

Oh wow. This is some heavy stuff. <br />
I am not at liberty to share much, but my Mom and her sister were abused as kids, by thier biological father and stepfather. Though as far as I know it didn't go as far as sexual abuse, but I don't much. <br />
Thank you for sticking it out and writing this book. This is the legacy you're leaving your kids and grandkids and future children - that you weren't going to take it lying down.

you may be coming on a little strong here " As I gathered experiences from others, I was shocked, to say the least, at the number of people who insinuated that they had not been abused, when in fact they actually had been".....but good luck with whatever it is your trying to do

I think your book should go through. I'm completely against every abuse there is. Pull through with this, I know you can. Your book should impact a lot of lives. Publish your book(s) and I'm sure they'll be successful :)

I would be priviledged to be apart of this<br />
I will contribute my story when the words come to me deep in the night<br />
I have many random thoughts, poems, songs, writings , clips that are scattered about in my chaotic life because one problem is i am unorganized <br />
Im sorry that I didnt get this link til today <br />
For some crazy reason it went to junk folder and I just fished it out today<br />
Im thinking it must be 4 months? <br />
Extremely busy w my kids during summer so maybe thats alot of it<br />
I will contribute what you want <br />
Problem is 65 words is hardly any words? Thats pretty brief and i dont think you could get even a clue with onlyu 65 words

Good reading Sherry.Thanks for all the work you've done to help others

I truly hope you succeed in your goals . This would be a tremendous help to a lot of people . Too often we bury our secrets in a hole that only grows bigger and bigger with time. It is time for people to let go of shame due to being abused.

It takes tremendous courage to share these painful experiences, especially with the resistance and potential attacks from those who are threatened by hearing about it as you have discovered in your efforts to get your book published.. It is also very difficult to overcome the scars of shame from abusive experiences that compel one to hide. For more on the Toxic Shame process that can be generated by abuse, see www.ShameAndAnger.net. <br />
<br />
Congratulations and thanks to a brave and articulate survivor. <br />
<br />
Brock (Washington DC)

Ok. Sherri....I'll write something for you....<br />
<br />
Sammy Jo Duponte xx

Very brave of you to share with so many. That in itself helps healing I believe! I have a friend that this story reminds me of and she also has written a book. Have not read your whole story yet, but keep on keeping on. Prayers with you.

I could not take my eyes away from reading what you have written.<br />
You have gone through so much, you are so brave. I am truly inspired by what you have done and are doing to enable others to speak out also.<br />
Blessings to you

Bless you for your work, and I hope the best for you. You are a remarkable person and thankyou for informing me of your book.