Self Destruction

Beneath our poised appearance aren't we all totally out of control. It is good to be back from the path of self destruction,but it was the key all along, self improvement was bullshit!! They say life is about finding yourself. Apparently not, may be it is about creating yourself. And to create something new, something beautiful and amazing you've got to destroy what was already there. You have to plough the field.

Hindus worship Shiva the destroyer. Why does he exist besides creator and operator forms of god?? To get rid of the filth and mess we have made using chaos, death & calamities, to make way for new creation, to bring forth something that is better and advanced. No one dies, we are just replaced by those who are capable of surviving with all the change. Actually, we die the day we stop learning.

Sorry I lost track! where was I?? self destruction, right!

Have you ever tried loosing yourself, getting over all the earthly attachments. Getting rid of everything you don't need,everything that is unnecessary, everything that is part of this rat racing world. Ever tried things your loved ones and society won't approve. Ever stopped believing in god. Ceased contact with everyone. No you don't necessarily have to be a monk to do that. All this gives you a new perspective and some time to think.

If you have a good memory try to compare your real life with how you wanted it to be as a kid. You'll wonder how far you've come. But there will be also regrets because things never turn out the way we wanted or predicted them to be. Well all this was all my try to find some significance in my otherwise insignificant existence. One last thing. Self destruction that I am talking about doesn't mean doing things and going beyond the limits for fun or to feel good. In-fact you have to leave these and try to be content with all the sadness.
illimite illimite
22-25, M
2 Responses May 19, 2012

its an very well written story and i agree with the most part of it...........what i believe is that..........each and every person is born with both the energies of construction and destruction what we do and what we chose to be harness these energies.........!!! <br />
destruction is always there to construct something new........its not negative its complimentary.............!!!!!!!!!!! in this universe the one who can destruct is the only one who can construct................!!!!!!!!!

There is a quote about self destruction I read somewhere.
"There are seeds of self-destruction in all of us that will bear only unhappiness if allowed to grow. "

Men destitute of all notions of right or wrong, insensate with pride and with success over others, yield to transports of delight like the gods in heaven. Happiness must end in misery. Idleness is misery; while cleverness (in action) is the cause of happiness. Affluence and prosperity dwell in one possessed of cleverness, but not in one that is idle. <br />
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Be it happiness or be it misery, be it agreeable or be it disagreeable, what comes to one should be enjoyed or endured with an unconquered heart. Every day a thousand occasions for sorrow, and hundred occasions for fear assail the man of ignorance and folly but not the man that is possessed of wisdom. Sorrow can never touch the man that is possessed of intelligence, that has acquired wisdom, that is mindful of listening to the instructions of his betters, that is destitute of envy, and that is self-restrained. Relying upon such an understanding, and protecting his heart (from the influences of desire and the passions), the man of wisdom should conduct himself here.<br />
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Indeed, sorrow is unable to touch him who is conversant with that Supreme Self from which everything springs and unto which everything disappears. The very root of that for which grief, or heartburning, or sorrow is felt or for which one is impelled to exertion, should, even if it be a part of one's body, be cast off. That ob<x>ject, whatever it may be in respect of which the idea of meum is cherished, becomes a source of grief and heart-burning. Whatever ob<x>jects, amongst things that are desired, are cast off become sources of happiness. The man that pursues ob<x>jects of desire meets with destruction in course of the pursuit. Neither the happiness that is derived from a gratification of the senses nor that great felicity which one may enjoy in heaven, approaches to even a sixteenth part of the felicity which arises from the destruction of all desires.<br />
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The acts of a former life, right or wrong, visit, in their consequences, the wise and the foolish, the brave and the timid. It is even thus that joy and sorrow, the agreeable and the disagreeable, continually revolve (as on a wheel) among living creatures. Relying upon such an understanding, the man of intelligence and wisdom lives at ease. A person should disregard all his desires, and never allow his wrath to get the better of him. This wrath springs in the heart and grows there into vigour and luxuriance. This wrath that dwells in the bodies of men and is born in their minds, is spoken of by the wise as Death. When a person succeeds in withdrawing all his desires like a tortoise withdrawing all its limbs, then his soul, which is self-luminous, succeeds in looking into itself. That ob<x>ject, whatever it may be, in respect of which the idea of meum is cherished, becomes a source of grief and heart-burning. When a person himself feels no fear, and is feared by no one, when he cherishes no desire and no aversion, he is then said to attain to the state of Brahma. Casting off both truth and falsehood, grief and joy, fear and courage, the agreeable and the disagreeable, thou mayst become of tranquil soul. When a person abstains from doing wrong to any creature, in thought, word, or deed, he is then said to attain to a state of Brahma. True happiness is his who can cast off that thirst which is incapable of being cast off by the misguided, which does not decay with decrepitude, and which is regarded as a fatal disease.<br />
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~ Santi Parva , Mahabharata

"Neither the happiness that is derived from a gratification of the senses nor that great felicity which one may enjoy in heaven, approaches to even a sixteenth part of the felicity which arises from the destruction of all desires."
This quote from the third paragraph of your post summarizes almost everything that I had written in my story. May that is what I was feeling. May be this self destruction was just a destruction of desires.
Thanks for posting, hindu scriptures truly are great.