The Misunderstood Soldier For Self-Esteem...

This story could be about many people and in truth I think it is, on a friendly, familial level. I am completely loyal to all of those who make me want to challenge stereotypes. I am friends and family to a treasured few who have cameras shoved in their faces for most of their life. I began my journey to meet them as a generic fan and over the years have become much more. I am a true friend.

Let's focus on someone I've not added to that circle yet, I'll call him WJP, but that's not his common initial set.

He is a brother, a husband and a father. The youngest of three with an abusive father. His mother left their Dad but nonetheless the damage was still done to a small boy. He was the front man in one of the UK's biggest bands, until their unfortunate demise in 2009. Constant ribbing from his band mate and blood brother, the press and his ex wife has turned him into an object of fascination and repulsion to verifiable millions. He has attitude and a strength to back it up.

Whilst I don't know him personally as yet, I do know a great friend of his and I'll never confess how warm WJP makes me feel. I know I'll be teased jovially.

I feel as if WJP and I could drink and talk, rib stupid paparazzi, watch the football and just have a good laugh. He's been remarried for two years now and the new missus is great to him, by all accounts. Their boys (the elder from his first marriage) are beautiful. A new band and fashion label are in the works.

A question nags at me though: Why am I always two degrees away from what could be the greatest love/confidants in my life?

TheRealWoman TheRealWoman
31-35, F
6 Responses Jul 10, 2010

T, no harm done. xxxxxxxxxxxxxooxx

Oh, T...that's brutal. This was a sharing story. I KNOW we may never meet and I don't care. It's a lovely feeling...just to love a nice man, albeit painful at times. I'm sorry for your pain, darling.

Oh dear...that's unfortunate.<br />
<br />
My problem is that I just CAN'T find anyone who is interested and close enough to be with....and so my days watching WJP on screen in happier times, will have to suffice. Ahhhhh, sweet delusion.

I suppose I feel a bit fortunate that I have never known how close or far I was from someone that I was "crushing" on. All I know is no matter how single they are when I find out they exist within a year they're married. It's become inevitable to me, I know the second I get a "crush", no matter how minor or serious, they get married. I've started actually looking for it, it so happens I'm looking for it now. Haha

*sigh* Yes, it is. I feel it stinging at my soul every day.

Six degrees of separation is really one of life's greatest and cruelest tricks.